Oh my darling Adichie!!!

So I am sitting here jèjèly checking out more smoothies recipes

image

Not joking with my weight loss/healthy living dream

when someone alerts me of a response by an unnamed dude to Chimamanda’s letter on the Anti-gay law passed…
What?!!!! You didn’t know she wrote one? You should visit LIB every now and then. Yes girlfriend has some really ‘one kain’ gist on but she has news too ooo. And information. Just sieve…
OK where were we?
Ehen Anti-gay bill…
So yesterday Priceless sent me the LIB link on Adichie’s piece.

image

She was sorta disappointed  about her stand but even before I read it, I knew she would be against the bill and throw the ‘ibiri k’am biri’ line… That is live and let live. I read it… Brilliant writer, Watery points. I usually don’t like to publicise stuff I don’t believe in but I already said I would put it on my blog and take it apart. Y’all know I totally love Adichie. LOVE!!! If Adichie writes it, I am reading it!!! If Adiçhie is interviewed, I am you-tubing it!!!
I may not agree with all her points (and sadly I find myself agreeing with fewer things she says these days) , but guys, Adichie ma edeeeeeeeee…. Choi. The girl can write. And talk. She has a gift of words or letters. Now if only she uses it ……………. (Fill in the gaps) lol.
Truth is when I read her piece, yes her literary skills as usual were brilliant, especially as the story teller stays within her niche and tells the story of Sochukwuma, I just kept smiling cos I could take that article apart piece by piece without much effort sef… Trust me, it is not easy to tackle that babe. I have watched/listened to/read several interviews and have seen girlfriend take interviewers apart EASILY and remain very composed through it all. And i love her laugh smile. But this one wasn’t it at all, in content and arguments that is, not literary prowess. BTW, Sochukuma translates to ‘Only God knows’ and trust me guys, that story is most lîkely pure fiction though not improbable. Some of the people in the comments section that countered her even already picked the holes…
Anyways so I flip to open the counter argument hoping this person did it justice and boy!!! First few lines, I stop. Copy link and send to Priceless before I come back to read. I LOVED it totally. I love his own childhood story too (while we are sharing childhood stories). I loved the line ‘…what the hell is wrong with these ‘internationally acclaimed’ African writers’. I loved how he included Nsukka. I loved how he picked out her own words and subtly deflated them. Infact I am embarrassed that someone can even tackle her like this. So easily. In just one day? It didn’t even take him a week at least of research. Ah!!! Covers face. Lol. Even the writer keeps asking ‘…Adichie did you REALLY write this?”Even for less acclaimed writers, it was weak… I love the line ‘…human character/behavior can be learnt/unlearnt, built/rebuilt and redefined at the instance of the  individual involved…’. Or when he says after quoting the bible ‘…rings a bell? Anyways moving on…’ Wow!!!  I loved the subtle yabis he even closes with… I will paste both articles and I will insert my opinion in the body… Yes everyone is allowed to have an opinion but this Adichie’s own fall my hand… And that is my opinion too…
🙂
OK enjoy Adichie’s “Why can’t he just be like everyone else…’

I will call him Sochukwuma. A thin, smiling boy who liked to play with us girls at the university primary school in Nsukka. We were young. We knew he was different, we said, ‘he’s not like the other boys.’ But his was a benign and unquestioned difference; it was simply what it was. We did not have a name for him. We did not know the word ‘gay.’ He was Sochukwuma and he was friendly and he played oga so well that his side always won.
In secondary school, some boys in his class tried to throw Sochukwuma off a second floor balcony. They were strapping teenagers who had learned to notice, and fear, difference. They had a name for him. Homo. They mocked him because his hips swayed when he walked and his hands fluttered when he spoke. He brushed away their taunts, silently, sometimes grinning an uncomfortable grin. He must have wished that he could be what they wanted him to be. I imagine now how helplessly lonely he must have felt. The boys often asked, “Why can’t he just be like everyone else?”

****** Can I also ask us why we can’t just let kleptos be? Why can’t they be like everyone else especially those who claim they were born that way… OK you will argue that kleptos pose a threat while homosexuality doesn’t… We will get to that************

Possible answers to that question include ‘because he is abnormal,’ ‘because he is a sinner, ‘because he chose the lifestyle.’ But the truest answer is ‘We don’t know.’
There is humility and humanity in accepting that there are things we simply don’t know.

***I love this line of humility and humanity… But we can roll over the things ‘We don’t know’ to divinity and/or ‘medicality’***

At the age of 8, Sochukwuma was obviously different.  It was not about sex, because it could not possibly have been – his hormones were of course not yet fully formed – but it was an awareness of himself, and other children’s awareness of him, as different. He could not have ‘chosen the lifestyle’ because he was too young to do so. And why would he – or anybody – choose to be homosexual in a world that makes life so difficult for homosexuals?

*** Jeeeeee, I dunno too… But Why would people still choose to STEAL in this Nigeria where you can be burnt alive for even something as senseless as a mobile phone? Could it be because, among other reasons, inherent in the natural human being is the desire to just do wrong, break laws etc even if only for the fun of it… Please note NATURAL MAN  ***

The new law that criminalizes homosexuality is popular among Nigerians. But it shows a failure of our democracy, because the mark of a true democracy is not in the rule of its majority but in the protection of its minority – otherwise mob justice would be considered democratic. The law is also unconstitutional, ambiguous, and a strange priority in a country with so many real problems. Above all else, however, it is unjust. Even if this was not a country of abysmal electricity supply where university graduates are barely literate and people die of easily-treatable causes and Boko Haram commits casual mass murders, this law would still be unjust.  We cannot be a just society unless we are able to accommodate benign difference, accept benign difference, live and let live. We may not understand homosexuality, we may find it personally abhorrent but our response cannot be to criminalize it.

****That’s the thing, homosexuality ain’t benign. It may seem benign but nne, aren’t we,  nursing a malignant tumour if we do nothing. And oh about our myriad problems, how does this bill affect it? I actually dealt with this point in my post… http://eziaha.com/2014/02/07/this-is-madness/ ****

A crime is a crime for a reason. A crime has victims. A crime harms society. On what basis is homosexuality a crime? Adults do no harm to society in how they love and whom they love. This is a law that will not prevent crime, but will, instead, lead to crimes of violence: there are already, in different parts of Nigeria, attacks on people ‘suspected’ of being gay. Ours is a society where men are openly affectionate with one another. Men hold hands. Men hug each other. Shall we now arrest friends who share a hotel room, or who walk side by side? How do we determine the clunky expressions in the law – ‘mutually beneficial,’ ‘directly or indirectly?’

*** People who engage in Jungle justice have to be the worst criminals of all. It is so super wrong gosh!!! But sadly crimes of violence and jungle justice ain’t exclusive to homosexuals!!! Then if you look closely enough at any law, you would see grey areas. Why? Cos the makers are humans… But should we altogether toss laws and law-making? I didn’t think so too. Other issues raised here were tackled by the rejoinder… ***

Many Nigerians support the law because they believe the Bible condemns homosexuality. The Bible can be a basis for how we choose to live our personal lives, but it cannot be a basis for the laws we pass, not only because the holy books of different religions do not have equal significance for all Nigerians but also because the holy books are read differently by different people. The Bible, for example, also condemns fornication and adultery and divorce, but they are not crimes.
For supporters of the law, there seems to be something about homosexuality that sets it apart. A sense that it is not ‘normal.’ If we are part of a majority group, we tend to think others in minority groups are abnormal, not because they have done anything wrong, but because we have defined normal to be what we are and since they are not like us, then they are abnormal. Supporters of the law want a certain semblance of human homogeneity. But we cannot legislate into existence a world that does not exist: the truth of our human condition is that we are a diverse, multi-faceted species. The measure of our humanity lies, in part, in how we think of those different from us. We cannot – should not – have empathy only for people who are like us.

*****Oooooooohhhh *sigh* Nne one of the roots from which laws emanate is religion na haba. I learnt this in sociology and Chimamanda who proposes that more sociology (and civics) should be taught to kids from a young age should know this… Then this majority-minority and normal-abnormal argument is too watery… Should I begin to list other ‘minority’ crimes too. *sigh again* **********

Some supporters of the law have asked – what is next, a marriage between a man and a dog?’ Or ‘have you seen animals being gay?’ (Actually, studies show that there is homosexual behavior in many species of animals.) But, quite simply, people are not dogs, and to accept the premise – that a homosexual is comparable to an animal – is inhumane. We cannot reduce the humanity of our fellow men and women because of how and who they love. Some animals eat their own kind, others desert their young. Shall we follow those examples, too?

***The comeback I have for the part of this paragraph I understand is not good. The other part I can’t make sense of. But I coulda sworn that some humans already tow this part. Truth is some humans already behave like beasts and I can almost bet that you would call a man who beats up and/or kills his wife a beast!!! Where we can manage it, let us ***

Other supporters suggest that gay men sexually abuse little boys. But pedophilia and homosexuality are two very different things. There are men who abuse little girls, and women who abuse little boys, and we do not presume that they do it because they are heterosexuals. Child molestation is an ugly crime that is committed by both straight and gay adults (this is why it is a crime: children, by virtue of being non-adults, require protection and are unable to give sexual consent).

***whoever even brings this argument up is unserious. Homosexuality is not related to child abuse (sexual) so I am with Adichie here***

There has also been some nationalist posturing among supporters of the law. Homosexuality is ‘unafrican,’ they say, and we will not become like the west. The west is not exactly a homosexual haven; acts of discrimination against homosexuals are not uncommon in the US and Europe. But it is the idea of ‘unafricanness’ that is truly insidious. Sochukwuma was born of Igbo parents and had Igbo grandparents and Igbo great-grandparents. He was born a person who would romantically love other men. Many Nigerians know somebody like him. The boy who behaved like a girl. The girl who behaved like a boy. The effeminate man. The unusual woman. These were people we knew, people like us, born and raised on African soil. How then are they ‘unafrican?’

***The argument should not be that homo is ‘unafrican’ rather it is abnormal/a crime/a sin. If the west choose to endorse it, good for them but we have higher morals here in Africa (though we are sadly loosing many all in the name of WESTERNIZATION), we won’t endorse it here***

If anything, it is the passage of the law itself that is ‘unafrican.’ It goes against the values of tolerance and ‘live and let live’ that are part of many African cultures. (In 1970s Igboland, Area Scatter was a popular musician, a man who dressed like a woman, wore makeup, plaited his hair. We don’t know if he was gay – I think he was – but if he performed today, he could conceivably be sentenced to fourteen years in prison. For being who he is.) And it is informed not by a home-grown debate but by a cynically borrowed one: we turned on CNN and heard western countries debating ‘same sex marriage’ and we decided that we, too, would pass a law banning same sex marriage. Where, in Nigeria, whose constitution defines marriage as being between a man and a woman, has any homosexual asked for same-sex marriage?

***So we should wait till we get there okwaya? ****

This is an unjust law. It should be repealed. Throughout history, many inhumane laws have been passed, and have subsequently been repealed. Barack Obama, for example, would not be here today had his parents obeyed American laws that criminalized marriage between blacks and whites.
An acquaintance recently asked me, ‘if you support gays, how would you have been born?’ Of course, there were gay Nigerians when I was conceived. Gay people have existed as long as humans have existed. They have always been a small percentage of the human population. We don’t know why. What matters is this: Sochukwuma is a Nigerian and his existence is not a crime.

***Repealed? Well never say never sha but the closing argument in the rejoinder was an incredible sub of an answer… I almost cried laughing at this guy’s wit…***

OK now the brilliant rejoinder…

OPEN LETTER TO CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE
WHY WE CAN’T BE LIKE THEM.

My dear sister, as always your literary skills and prowess with words can never be in doubt; you are
indeed one of young Africa’s best in terms of modern literature.

********He used the sandwich approach here. Start with praise, then go for the jugular in a subtle way, then end with praise. That’s a great conflict resolution skill I learnt in psychology loool. The ‘My dear sister’ opening line cracks me up. I can imagine Adichie’s reaction reading this line. Reminds me of one of the stories in ‘The thing around your neck’ where she…….. (Go and buy and read it :p) *******

However, after reading your recent piece on Nigeria’s Anti Gay law, I found myself still admiring your
literary skills but at the same time wondering;
“What the hell is wrong with these ‘internationally acclaimed’ African writers? Must they always present
an ‘Anti-African Government’ posture in order to impress their western audience?”
It’s becoming a common phenomenon these days for creative Africans, born and bred in Africa who
suddenly attain international recognition in their chosen fields be it journalism, art, entertainment or
literature to suddenly become pro-western advocates against the social, cultural and political ills of their
home countries in Africa.

**** 5star line a beg. The tin sef taya me
image

Like I wrote in my review of Americanah, which I loved BTW, I thought she wanted to be more ‘accepting’ and with this, I actually now confirm same http://eziaha.com/2013/07/12/my-americanah-story-part-1/ ***

These western endorsed African ‘geniuses’ immediately join other international (white) organisations in
broadcasting to the whole world that majority of their own people live on less than $1 a day.
Chimamanda, I did not expect anything less from your opposition to Nigeria’s Anti Gay laws; using our
local lingo, “Dem born you well to support am?”
If you had (by mistake) supported the Nigerian government on this, the all powerful LGBT community in
your ‘oyinbo’ country would have shred you to ‘pieces’. In fact by the time they are done with you and
your books black listed in their respective countries, you’d be forced to return to Nigeria and become a
third wife to the ‘Igwe of Nsukka’.

*********This Igwe of Nsukka almost killed me. Adichie grew up in Nsukka and talks about it a lot hence the reference****

Let me start with your touching ‘gay friendly’ (*****loool*****) story on Sochukwuma-the girlish boy from your childhood
era that was bullied, as a matter of fact permit me to share my own childhood story. (***since we are sharing stories****)

My first three years of secondary school was in an all boys school; one fine afternoon after closing hours
I strolled into our schools’ vast unkempt field covered with over grown bamboo grasses. My sole purpose
for going into the fields was to catch grasshoppers and frogs, a favourite personal routine as a JSS 2
student in 1991. Long story short, deep into the field I bumped into two of my (male) classmates making
out under a huge tree close to the fence. I saw them, recognised them, turned back and went my own
way…I never told a soul.

****so when people revert to jungle justice, I taya ooo***

Unlike your ‘hip swinging’ Sochukwuma, these boys were as masculine as kids our age could be back
then. I met one of those boys at a Lagos mall recently; he is now married with two children. Is he now straight?
Is he now a closet gay? Is he bisexual? I can’t say, but what I do know for sure is that the human nature
is very complex and complicated filled with realistic and unrealistic desires. Human character/behaviour
can be learnt, unlearnt, built, rebuilt and redefined at the instance of the individual involved. The job of
society and leaders of society (methinks) has always been to enact laws or rules that seek to protect
certain societal values deemed as important to their distinct peoples general well being.

**** how brilliant is this!!!! Wow!!! *****

In your article, you said,
“The Bible can be a basis for how we choose to live our personal lives but it cannot be a
basis for the laws we pass,”
Did you really write this? “Thou shall not kill!” “Thou shall not steal!”Rings a bell? Anyways,
moving on!

**** hahahahahahahahaha. I dunno whether tz the ‘anyways,moving on’ or the ‘did you really write this?’ that I am tripped about. What he means is that those lines he mentioned, which are now laws in Nigeria today, are actually lifted wholesale  from religion. Christianity actually. The 10 commandments to be more precise. The truth is, the basis of some of our laws is religion. This I learnt in my ‘Crime and deviance’ class.  ****

You also said, “A crime is a crime for a reason. A crime has victims. A crime harms society. On what basis is homosexuality a crime?”

Again Miss Adichie, did you really write this? (***dude stop!!! This question is not fair ooo Loooool ***) Remind me again on why suicide is a crime when the only victim is the person actually committing it. Suicide is harmful to society because no nation wants to see its people killing off themselves at will. Same way no (sane) society will want to see its entire people
becoming homosexuals which could make them stop reproducing and lead to their extinction. But you
may say, it’s not possible for an entire population to be gay? Well, it’s also not possible for an entire
population to be suicidal. So, can we now hit the ground rolling for the total legalization of ALL FORMS of suicide? I guess not.

***Did you notice he had ‘sane’ in a bracket? Kinda like saying ‘The choice is ours so do we choose to remain sane or go insane? And I love the line on suicide. In an American Sociology textbook I had called ‘Social problems’, Suicide is listed as a social problem and I am like ‘what?!?!? How can suicide be a SP especially as we define a SP as a problem which affects a MAJORITY of people? Then I read the reasons and I understood. Dude spells it out above***

In your adopted United States of America, Polygamy is outlawed in most states; perhaps ‘Polygamy’ has
been identified as a threat to the very fabric of American societal values-good for the Americans.
In Saudi Arabia, it is still a crime for women to drive cars in that country; perhaps driving of cars by
women has been identified by the Saudis as a threat to their common existence-good for the Saudis.
Off topic, I’ve always wondered why American/International feminists and equal rights activists have not
spoken out HARD against this type of discrimination against Saudi women. I haven’t even heard of you
speaking against it, Yes you Chimamanda Adichie, a ‘Beyonce endorsed’ feminist.

***So this ‘live and let live’ argument is selective much? I am feeling you***

Back to Nigeria, as imperfect as we Nigerians are, most of us are either Christians or Muslims, with subtle adherence to African tradition religions.
Is it now a crime for us as a people to make laws against vices that we feel threatens the fabrics of our own society based on the Bible, the Koran and our African Culture?
Indeed Nigeria has bigger problems like Terrorism, Kidnapping and corruption, but all these vices are also criminalized by Nigerian law.
If my bible tells me that two great cities called Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because of
homosexuality- as a Christian should I not be concerned? Don’t I have the right to bring up my children
as Christians and teach them to despise the act of homosexuality but not necessarily the sinner?
Must Nigerians prove to your western world that we are civilized by adopting their Atheist based liberal
laws on same-sex unions, abortion and other perversions?
What Africans need to copy from the west is the art of industrialization and technological advancement
NOT the art of love-making by same-sex couples.

**** This guy is too much abeg!!! ****

Make no mistake about it; there are many homosexuals in Nigeria and in Africa. Yes, they are a minority
and yes, they must be protected and treated as human beings if they abide by Nigerian laws like
everyone else. Even if they (gays) or any criminal for that matter are caught breaking our laws, mob
justice must be totally discouraged. BUT we will not wait until these ‘sensitive’ gay minority starts to
parade the streets of Lagos, Abuja or Nsukka (***looool again at Nsukka***) dressed in lewd outfits, holding up rainbow flags and showing off ‘rehearsed’ same-sex public displays of affection before we decide to enact laws that protect
our cherished values.
A Pastor friend of mine once had this to say about Gay rights in Nigeria,
“Don’t mind all these white people o, they have developed their countries very well and so they can now
legalize homosexuality. Whenever God decides to punish them for their sins with earthquakes, wild fires, blizzards, tsunamis, volcanoes and so on, they can still manage it. Nigeria is still very backward in
almost everything and we have offended God in many ways, should we now add ‘Gay rights’ to our
problem with God? If God decides to give Nigeria half of the natural punishments he gives to the west, we
will all be finished o.”
I honestly feel that you were subtly pressurized by your host nation and foreign patrons to put out your
‘why can’t he be like everyone else?’ article. They already got Professor Wole Soyinka (an Atheist) to
condemn Nigeria’s anti-gay law earlier.
Let me conclude here with a parting question to you Miss Adichie, mind you this too may appear as very
off topic, it probably is.
In your latest book Americanah and in several fora you have talked about racism in America and my
question to you is, are gay black people in America no longer discriminated as black people?
This is just a ‘spontaneous’ food for thought and is not meant to support my argument in anyway.

***** Now this line is like saying ‘upon all your shouting against racial discrimination, it hasn’t stopped. Not even for the gay blacks. So this your ‘this law must be repealed’ is just, well, NOISE…’ Kai. This guy came tough loool and now says tz ‘spontaneous and probably off-topic’ … Indeed!!! *****

I’m still one of your biggest fans

*** I said ‘sandwich approach’ yeah? Perfect closing.

Dude, I dunno who you are but Imela… Afo eju go m… I am satisfied.

Again, I am not homophobic, I love the gays. Just like I am expected to love everyone, sinner or not. Tz actually about the sin!!!
And of course, I am still absolutely in love with Adichie and her incredible talent. Probably a bigger fan than this guy too. She remains a major inspiration and motivation for some stuff in my life including my natural hair

image

Natural hair a la Adichie

(Would have added TY Bello but she does some ‘ojoro’ a lot with her hair loool) But I am wary of ‘too much book/human knowledge’ without God. And I do mean God bad indeed the LORD over your life and to follow this God, you would appear to be ‘foolish’ and ‘unpopular’

*shivers*

Longest post ever yeah? I didn’t wanna just put the links. I wanted to put the posts together so I too can easily read it anytime.

Btw, thanks to everyone who took two minutes of their time to fill the survey. God bless y’all.
Still need more respondents so please if you haven’t, this is the link              
http://kwiksurveys.com/app/rendersurvey.asp?sid=tvuh37nwnb3ah53285567
Thanks a lot…

Then about the prayer group, sorry we have reached a limit. Will let err’one know when an opening is available.
Ditto the #31Voices… Please no more entries 🙂 Thank you for understanding.

Then finally, email is eziaha@eziaha.com . Please let’s send mails to only this one.
Tz almost weekend yay!!! By weekend, I mean Sunday and y’all know I mean COMEDY GOES TO CHURCH. You really can’t miss this mother of all comedy shows, and this time, clean comedy with amazing musical interjections… Don’t dull ooo. Grab your tickets NOW. Call numbers on flier for yours.

image

Then @inthemidstofher please update your blog oooo. I miss you mega.

Muah
E’

Can I borrow 2 MINUTES of your time?

I promise this will take just two minutes.
I actually thought it would take four minutes but after I sent a broadcast this morning, someone corrected me and said it took him two minutes…
So what’s da ish?
Simples.
My brother in law is a real good man. He needs help for a certain project he is running now on Cyber crime.
Long and short is help US fill this survey      
   http://kwiksurveys.com/app/rendersurvey.asp?sid=tvuh37nwnb3ah53285567
Dazall…
Thanks darling. My sister, (his wife and mother of all those children I keep putting up here), had to beg me to do this. I trust una no go fall my hand ooo. Lol
Did I already mention that my BIL is a good man? He really is.
Have you done any good deed today? Yes? No?
Help a good someborry today.
🙂

Well I can’t leave you without mentioning the event COMEDY GOES TO CHURCH which is coming up this Sunday

image

Whoop
Can’t wait. In case you wanna see what went down last year, Pastor M has this post up on her blog complete with pictures and gist http://justusgirlsnaija.com/2014/02/19/2034/

image

Yes my number one comedian in naija AY was live at season one

U

image

Ditto Julius with host MC Acapella

Tz this Sunday. 4pm. David’s Christian centre, amuwo odofin Lagos.
2k pere.
This second edition doesn’t promise less. It promises even more fun… Gosh. My mouth is watering already. I love me a good laugh anyday so Infact I am already laughing in advance

image

Left Bridal shower. Right Birthday

All the stress of the week needs this godly hilarious atmosphere to ease up a beg. Plus you will need this healthy dose of laughter for the new week and forward.
Don’t be sleeping on an Okada ooo. Buy ya ticket naaaaaaa. This show now happen everyday ooo
All the info you need is on the flyer.

And no you haven’t forgotten the link for my brother-in-law’s survey na haba
http://kwiksurveys.com/app/rendersurvey.asp?sid=tvuh37nwnb3ah53285567

Oya please fill. Two minutes pere

Help us out here. Tz somewhat urgent.

Oshay darlings

Muah
E’
Going Forward with plenty testimonies…

From across the waters… Two moms Tomiwa and Cannime Testify

Today we have two delightful FABers testifying.
Similarity? Well both are moms and both live outside Naija
And both are bloggers yay!!!

First off, Cannime who is the only blogger that had the same Sunspot blog theme as me. That was my first attraction to her blog. If you refer need any info on Canada, http://www.cannime.com is your ONE stop go-to. On anything oooo. I just love her blog. Now she changed the theme tho… Love the new theme on mobile too. May try it after this. Since we are blog twins. Plus she says I write like her… Awwww.

image

I didn’t even know she is married and has a baby… Aww. I love how this is making me know my readers more… Thanks babe for sharing with us tho you don’t want your lovely picture here… Not fair loool. And thanks for all the blog love too. You rock…
Please enjoy this babe I just love to call Cannime all za way from Canada…

As 2014 rolled in, I asked myself what I wanted to achieve this year. I am one who journals my plans for the year because there is so much joy in looking back and realising that God answered my prayers or see how he totally changed my plans (He has done so a lot  times 😀 ). However, mummy duties ( We have an 8month old) have seriously taken over and I have not had time to write down my plans for the year yet.. So, Eziaha you have made it happen.

**** God used me to make it happen lol***

Here are my plans for 2014

1. Spiritual Growth: Love and trust God more 🙂 spiritual growth is constant for me every year.. because there is so much to learn about God and my walk with Him.

2. Be the best wife and mum: My husband and my son are perfection. Watching my hubby shower unconditional love  on my son and I daily makes me strive to best wife for him in everywhere. I also want to guide and watch my son grow into an amazing toddler ( he is downstairs babbling with his dad as I type..lol). He is our new fitness coach because it is major workout when he is awake. Chasing him around the house has definitely helped *hubby* and I lose the baby weight- lol.

*****awww. Is it just me or did anyone else paint this tres lovely scenario of this family in a hilarious workout session… Biko nne, what weight is his daddy losing? Lol*****

3. Job: After an wonderful one year of maternity leave, I will be going back to work. A part of me feel I have forgot all of the accounting I was taught and practiced (lol). My manager will be the best judge..lol. So this year, I want to win best employee award (we do not have such award in my office) but I just want to make positive impact as I return.

***i should totally move to Canada!!! One year mat. leave… Wow!!! Cool. And yes Amen. The HS will help you remember jor…***

: In my spare time I blog about Canadian immigration and Life in Canada. This year, I want to provide information to as many Nigerians in and outside Canada looking for information on how to come to Canada or navigate through life in Canada. I love seeing successful Nigerians in Canada because there are good ambassadors of what great people we are.  I believe we all have a duty to change the perception people have of Nigeria with every non- Nigerian we meet. So this year, I want to be mentioned in the success stories of Nigerians in Canada who found some useful and helpful information from my website.

***You do a FAB job nne and I love that you wanna do even more… Guys, this blog is totally FAB trust me…Anything Canada, holler at her blog or at me and I will hook you up…***

5. Friends and family: Just reviewing last year.. I realised it’s been a while I got birthday gifts for most friends and family.. especially those who did not have any major celebration. So this year, I plan to send a birthday gift to all my close friends and family. In addition to gifts, actually spend time praying for them and the needs they share with me.

****Awwwwwww. Thank God I am a friend and I have a birthday coming later this year… Yay!!! But this resolve is so cool. Most of us don’t give gifts again. After putting pix on bbm DPs, that’s usually all lol…***

6. Vacation: Since 2012 when we came home, we have only been to the airport to receive people. We have not travelled or had a Vacation. So hubby and I are determined to travel this year. We plan to  travel to somewhere warm with a nice ocean view. My brother just returned from his honeymoon in Veradero, Cuba and the first thing his wife said to me was Flo, “you have no excuse.. I saw people with three month old babies”. And Oh! baby gets to travel for free until they are two.. so even more motivated to achieve this.

***Babes, I am seriously moving ooo lol. Free till 2years? Wow. Just last week my friend and I were discussing this issue of having babies pay for flights here… You guys should totally go. I duno Veradero but it sounds like a dream place…****

That’s about it for me. I know more things will pop up as the year progresses. Wishing all FAB readers a blessings filled 2014.

****** Thanks again darling. Blessings on you and your home. Amen!!!*****

Exit Cannime, Enter Tomiwa…

One of my most consistent Likers and commenters. Bless you babe.
Please enjoy T’s piece of the testifying action all za way from the UKj

image

******************
This year 2014, I intend to

– Put God first, every day.
2013 was all about Him showing me that He does exist, He does answer prayers and He has a plan for my life. I am taking it a step further by running with this verse this year…
Ps119:105 Your word is a light unto my feet and a light unto my path.
I intend to dwell in His word. I can never go wrong that way. I’m going to be a God girl this year and beyond.

-Be healthy. Drink more water, less coke (I can see myself trying to ignore the bottles of coke as they call out my name on the aisles in the store).
****hahahahahahaha. Seer of life. Loooool. How has it been so far? *****

-Eat more fruit. Exercise, at least I will try (does climbing the stairs count?)

***Yes hun it counts… Regularly tho and running not walking. I know you have started gyming already. Whoop!!!*****

– Do the money challenge. For every week, I will save an equivalent amount of money for that week’s number. For example, for week one I will save one dollar, week two, two dollars and so on till I get to the end of the year. Feel free to join, I’m already smacking my lips at the thought of a nice cash stash by the year’s end (even though they say do not count your chicks before they hatch).

***Not too late to join in yeah? Sounds cool. Wow. E for better for pounds tho… I am already counting my chicks in my head…****

Have a relationship that will lead to marriage and is God centered. I fear sometimes, (I’m not afraid to say fear cuz that confirms that I’m human), that I will not find a good man who will accept my daughter and I and will also love Christ. I know though, that God has great plans for me and who knows, there might be something in the works already

****** OF VERY COURSE there is someone out there who will accept and love by your girl totally. One darling FABer has a story like this. The husband she married Ehen, name God give am walahi lol… Tho she is a catch herself. So yes love, there is. But the word FEAR tho… Remember He hasn’t given us a spirit of fear… And There is NO FEAR in LOVE but perfect love (which I know you enjoy in Him which He will replicate in your man) CASTS OUT FEAR 🙂 So human or not, no fear baby )

– Start a PhD. I’m believing and trusting God, that I will get a scholarship that will pay everything, as in everything. I love to read and find out new things and this will also put me in a better position to give my daughter the best I can. I know my Baba will delight in my testimony by the year’s end when I announce “ I have started my Phd”

***AMEN Sweets. Beht u like books sha. Even Masters I am still receiving grace for, whilst looking for one that would last just six months Loooool****

– Impact some one’s life positively. I will love to be a mentor to people. I generally run away from being looked up to cuz I’m afraid of tripping up and making mistakes that might be costly to someone’s faith. However, that way of thinking was rooted in believing in my own strength. As of now, I’m totally leaning on God. It is He who will speak through me and lift me up when I stumble, that way people can learn also that being a God girl doesn’t mean you don’t trip up and fall. You are just blessed with the grace to rise up and keep moving on.

*** I have learnt that too babe. Never about me. Tz about God. No pressures mehn… And certainly pay no mind to the devil and his weak accusations with our weaknesses***

Speak fluent French, even if it’s in tongues, hehehe. I have been trying to learn French o. My folks speak so well and they seem to be arguing on how much they can sell me for, when they start to speak.

*** now that u mention, I think I speak in French tongues… Yay!!! Loooool. This French name real serious matter on this FAB lane ooo. We should start a French wannabe learners club or som’in… He he he. And yes, I think your folks have sold you already :p. ***

– Fly a kite with my daughter and in general just spend some quality time with her that is not across a computer console. Sometimes I cry when I receive pictures and videos of the antics she gets into and I’m not there physically to see and laugh. I can’t wait for this master’s to be over and then I can see her, and hold her, and scold her just be with her.

****** Awwwwwwwww. You should carry her for the pH.d ooo he he he *****

– Lead a choir. I love to sing. Really love it. Since having my lil princess though I have been blessed with a deep voice and can’t hit the high note anymore. Regardless, I want to glorify God with my singing.

***hahaha. Does it sound anything like TY Bello’s? If yes, I love it already… If not :p loool ****

– Make my parents proud. They have done a lot. Far more than I could have ever imagined. Is it the fees, or taking care of my princess while I flex-study?  Is it the ever flowing prayers and encouragement I get every single day? Abeg, they are too much. I want to be the daughter they can boast of anywhere. I want to bless them with everything I am and have it also helps that I will live long since I’m obeying God.

***** Awwwwww God bless them indeed. Parents dey try sha… I pray you do, with God leading you on how best to, amen****

– Establish a business. I totally love to make jewelry. I dream of having my own place of business, where I employ others and train people and make some money, while having time for the family God is blessing me with. Yes, I can do this in tangent with the Phd.

***** Business women on the lane, holla!!!! That is another team we should form right here too. And yes, you really can juggle it ooo. ***

– Grow with my friends spiritually. My bestie and I grew spiritually, together in 2013 and we are still growing. There are others I will like to bring into the fold, heaven will be quite fun with friends I already know, and I am trusting God for the grace to set aside my fears and doubts, and speak up to them. Let them see who I am in Christ and encourage them to set up.
Live a fasted life. This means I would not hesitate to give to God anything He requires of me. Be it money, a particular person, my time, food, anything. I want to be able to surrender all to Him.

******Amen. Grace and boldness babe cos God still needs examples…******

My name is Oluwatomiwa Ayonrinde, I’m in my mid 20’s and currently doing a masters in urban management and development. Thanks for the opportunity E’. Mwuaahh

***** Thanks my Darling jare. Kisses to your princess. And now that I think of it, I’m not sure if you are in the UK or USA set. I just wrote UK. No mind me. But I think i am right tho… He he he. And I love your course. One of the fave branches for me in Sociology was Urban Sociology. I was practically a mobile encyclopedia on it. The city life, its history and planning, social interactions, social problems, and its development just thrills me to heavens. Got an A plus in the course. On the other hand, I HATED Rural Sociology loool. I hate anything village he he he. *******

OK everyone, hope you are making plans already for comedy goes to church!!! Whoop. This Sunday 4pmDCC.
Come and have real pure fun with Acappella and his comedian friends plus great music to boot… Tickets just 2k.
If you dey Lagos, you have no reason to miss out ooooooo

image

Holler at me for details

God needs examples…

I am constantly looking for examples. Good God-examples.
When I find anything exemplary, I am quick to share with as many people as I can… When I fine exemplary model lives, ah, I celebrate them then turn into their personal unpaid cheerleaders.
Hello Rev Femi&Teju Oduwole and Pastor Kingsley&Mildred Okonkwo.
When I encounter exemplary service providers or Customer care people, I am super excited and I’m quick to recommend. When I come across a book, article, message, or blog that can bless others, I don’t stop recommending.
Any thing good I see that is representing God (shining their God-light) , I am usually tripped. Especially when they go public with it…
image
You see, don’t get it twisted. God needs examples. The world is getting darker and darker and sometimes, I see somethings or hear somethings and I just start crying. Because sometimes, people that go through some of these things need not but that’s all they know. The girl who decides to finally give her body and virginity to that stupid boy just because of Valentine pressure and some stupid gift probably has not heard enough that Virginity is COOL!!! How a girl can believe that she has a problem because she is a Virgin? She hasn’t seen many examples hence her naivete has gotten the best of her…
How can a guy believe that he has to do yahoo-yahoo and other such stuff to make money? How can a young guy believe Christians are sooooo boring and somewhat ‘de-repping’ than the rest and so finds it hard to publicly associate with church or anything Christianity. Even when he manages to go to church, he hides his bible and even denies it to his friends. Maybe we aren’t showing off the absolutely fabulous blessing church and Christianity are. Maybe we are so into ourselves, shining only for our fellow Christians, and not repping Him wella in the world that truly needs Him.
Now I aint talking of you acting one way in church and another way at work. No. I am talking of true Christians who are shy, or don’t wanna be seen as showing off, or labelled ‘Holier than thou’. (See my post here on when I was called Holier than thou http://eziaha.com/2013/09/10/3267/ )
Darling, God needs examples oooo. The devil is working overtime. Infilterating every sector. And frankly, I think we Christians are just too lax and comfy. Afterall, we are sure of our own heaven so what’s my own…
That’s really not very Christian ooo. And that’s actually wicked. God’s banking on us all to be good examples and show Him off.
I especially love examples in seeming ‘very dark areas’. Like music. The devil has twisted music taya. So when I hear a Sinach or Frank Edwards, I am emailing the song to as many people as I can. Like the movies. Do you see how movied these days make pre-marital sex look normal? Cool sef. And how the good girls and guys are made to look like the ones something is wrong with? Oh how I loveeeet when I see movies like Courageous that teach the TRUTH!!! Or FireProof!!! If you haven’t seen those two movies, please see them already.

image

One of the many lines from Courageous i loved when the cops were hanging out and one says ‘…divorce comes with the territory now…’ And the other says ‘…i disagree with you man. Divorce happens cos you make it an option…’ Awesome movie.
I saw a movie this week. It really was a great movie but within it were some vices made to look normal. Like going to a club with strippers and pole dancers. Eish!!!
I wish we had Christian clubs and hangouts where we can just relax and even dance away. All night if we want.
Walahi, Psquare’s Chop my money hasn’t stopped ringing in my head since that movie. And I don’t care for it.
That’s another reason why as much as I love AY, you won’t find me dead or alive at his Comedy concerts AY LIVE!!! When I see snippets, I am thrilled. But to go? Mba. Cos I won’t know when they will crack one lewd stupid joke. Or all those background songs or musicians that come to perform. Biko me and music. I gotta guard my ear gate ooo. If not, the songs won’t stop interfering with my quiet time and I start singing ‘See gobe…’ Loool (I detailed this in this post here http://eziaha.com/2013/09/18/e-guard-your-heart/ )
Hubby loves comedy a lot especially Night of a thousand laughs but I don’t let him go cos of that atmosphere there. So we have to make do with Osuofia movies loool.
But when Comedy goes to church!!! Aha… You can be sure you will find me there.
Which is why I am super excited about this Year’s Comedy goes to Church season 2 hosted by our very own MC Accapella in DCC.

image

I was at season 1 and I almost died laughing. It was incredible fun. I literally was in stitches. Unbelievable fun in a godly atmosphere. I didn’t want it to end. With music interjections from gospel artistes. It was healthy fun. Jokes from the bible. Trust Acapella na. Even PK who is already funny sef joined in cracking jokes. The hall was packed full and PK now says he needs to start charging for services and make money too just like Accapella must have made that night. Looooool. Ah I laughed taya.

image

I recall sitting beside Blessing and taking notes cos I wanted to blog about it but I didn’t get around to and I lost the paper though I managed to do a mini review here http://eziaha.com/2013/03/08/that-nudge/ . But there is a dvd and maybe when u go for season 2, u should buy it too.
( Bonus: I am on the red carpet and several people who I didn’t even know somehow saw it recognized me from Twitter and my blog and said I talk well and I rocked on the red (or funny carpet like Accapella calls it). So buy… Hehehe )
I also met some of my blog readers who came

image

Last year, big comedy stars were present. My BEST in Naija AY was there. Julius Agwu, Elenu and may more. Then the upcoming ones were just too hilarious. Musicians Midnight crew and others were present too.  Ah!!! Acapella tried abeg.

image

this was season one

SEASON ONE
Everyone he publicised were there. Especially the big stars. Season 2 can only be bigger.
When? Sunday, Feb 23 2014
Time: 4pm
Where? Victory Dome. David’s Christian Centre. Amuwo Odofin (Fatgbems bus stop) Lagos.
How much? Regular 2k. VIP 5k. Table for eight 70k (though I suspect PK has bought all the tables for the many guests he is dragging there looool. Just kidding. I’m sure u can still get a table if you ring asap…
So where to get tickets? And other details?
Please call 08022476330 08067017127

This year we have comedians like Seyi Law, Yaw! Elenu, Akpororo, etc. Of course, MC Acapella will be there live.
Musicians like pita, MK, the sultry Palmira etc.

Follow @iamacapella and tweet at him any questions you may have.

Trust me hun, this is one event you don’t wanna miss…

You will hear more this week…
Have a totally FAB week my darlings. And remember, God needs examples. Be one.
Lotta lotta love

image

E’
Going Forward…Still Testifying

(peek my natural hair did you? I can’t believe how fast it has grown. Love it and care for it like a baby. Will share my natural hair tips with y’all FAB naturalistas soon and get tips from y’all too he he he )

PS
Speaking of good God examples, I celebrate one God-Girl who is a major inspiration to me in DCC with the exemplary service she gives to her Pastors and by extension God.

image

Onyinye ‘Charming’ is Pastor M’s PA. Very polite. Very friendly. Always with a smile. Very beautiful within and without. Treated everyone who wanted to see Pastor M well even when you couldn’t see her for one reason or the other. When I was still trying to find my footing in DCC, the way she would greet/hug me and talk to me about my blog certainly made me feel special and welcome. God bless you my darling Charming.

image

Onyi is a real sweetheart. Oh how I miss her and her sweet hugs. She is a real gift like her name says. Go FORWARD my darling. FAST-Forward. I love you darling. Very very much.

image

And yup Onyi is a new mommy too. Her baby is just a month now and so she is still in the US. DCC esp Pastor M sure misses her.
Happy birthday Sugar…

PPS
Speaking of Pastors PA, I truly can’t stand all those ‘madam kofo-like’ ones. Hiss. They just block road for nothing. Stopping you from seeing Pastor for no reason. Late last year, a friend was gisting me of som’in I did with one like two years ago. I didn’t even know I did it. I was going to see one of my pastors and some PA chic tried to stop me. She is a real rude babe with a tosh load of senseless attitude. Operative word: Senseless!!! She actually took her protocol job as a means to feel important. The moment she rudely tried to stop me, I just shoved her away gently but firmly and moved ahead to the waiting hug of my Pastor. She was stunned loool. And I didn’t even do it to ‘show her’ or anything, it was reflex and I didn’t even gloat or boast or even repeat it to anyone. When my friend was gisting us last year of that incident when we had cause to be at a similar gathering together again, I had even forgotten but I knew it was som’in I was capable of doing. Biko Pastors’ PAs ehn, be polite and friendly even though you have to be a police. That’s why Onyi is a real gem with me… She reminds me of American or British Policemen who are polite to even accused persons while this girl here reminds me of Naija policemen on the road in the hot sun looool who are so rude to even innocent citizens.

So the Devil talks to YOU?

So the devil talks to you?

devil

I had this conversation with someone. But lemme back up a bit.

Ibadan-20120131-02702

Last week Monday, we had a prayer meeting at Kado estate. Afterwards, I was walking with my girl Mimi to a place where I could get a cab home easily. Recall that I am still new in Abuja and so I still need help every once in a while. Tz easy getting around though cos Abuja is more organized, relative to gidi that is. Anyways, a Church member graciously offers to give me a ride and so I hop in. He had some American preacher on his screen and we were enjoying the ambience and gisting. Naturally we gisted around the lines of how I have been enjoying Abuja and stuff. Amongst other things, I told him what happened to me yesterday (being sunday).

You see, I had spent the weekend with JMAD our starship and Somsom her ‘cousin’,

JMAD

and Saturday was a bit of an intense day for me. Too many little things went wrong and I was just too happy to come home and burst into mini tears. The next day Sunday was LDM, Abuja and I knew I wouldn’t go home to return in the evening for LDM jare so I packed a double. In all the packing hoopla, I forgot to transfer money from the Saturday casual bag to the Sunday church bag. So all I had in the Sunday bag was some loose change totaling a grand sum of N140. I realized this only when I was going to give my offering and stuff. How come I didn’t realize it when I boarded a cab to chuch? That was ‘cos I had left home with Somsom who goes to COZA and she graciously paid for the whole trip to my church while she dropped at hers before me. I added the N100 cos the cab man didn’t have change and stuff so I had just N40 left. All the while, I didn’t realize I had no other money ooo. Now I usually have my offering, tithe and any other seed I am sowing in my bible a few days before church. That way I don’t start looking for loose change to drop on Sunday morning abeg. I take my offering very seriously. That day was no exception and so all I had was that. No money for both t.fare and to eat and I was going to get home no earlier than 9pm and it would cost me no less than 2K to do the necessary transport to my friend’s house where I would chill b4 the program, and also to the LDM venue gangan and then back home.

IMG-20130210-00366

So at the point of packaging my offering, tithe and thanksgiving seed, the devil told me ‘Eziaha. You know you don’t have money for tfare so reduce the tithe and then pay it later’ I said err, nope. He said ‘OK pay tithe but you can save the seed for transport and give it next week’ I considered it for a minute and just decided WARRAHECK!!! God can provide for my transport jare lemme not mess with any of my money for God jare. So I dropped all that I had intended to drop.

DSC05018 (This is a real old picture. Happy to run into it)

So as I was gisting the guy who I would call Chuchu for now, the first thing he asked me was ‘So the Devil talks to you? Because he doesn’t talk to me ooo.’ For shizzle!!! I told him ‘Yes the devil talks to me just as he talks to everybody else.’ Heck, he even spoke to Jesus, tempting him. By talking, it doesn’t mean me and am pull seat, siddon dey yarn ooo. No time for that. He drops thoughts and ideas in our hearts and sometimes he speaks through people. (I am sure you know a few LOL).

uuu

Ah the devil is not just a silent one ooo. In fact I do think he is a talkative jare. If he stays silent, then how does he run the earth because he is the god of this natural world and he is working in the hearts of the children of disobedience (unbelievers)and speaking through them ooo. Some stupid people who are oblivious that the devil is speaking through them ooo LMHO

stupid (i absolutely LOVVVVVVE this hahahahahaha)

I felt Chuchu said that to mean something like he is too holy for the devil to talk to him. AKUKO… But when I was done explaining to him, he understood better. The devil goes about talking rubbish, but thankfully God also talks and I have been trained to recognize his own voice too and so I can yield to Him alone.

voice

Like I have heard Joyce Meyer say which I would attempt to paraphrase- we don’t have to be too conscious of the devil and his shenanigans and be all scared, but it would also be foolish to totally ignore the devil. Even the bible advises that we should not be ignorant of the devices of the enemy/devil. The deal is don’t pay him more mind than he deserves. Don’t start over giving him attention jare. But be aware of him jare and be on the offensive. Recently something happened in the life of my friend and she was so scared and I just laughed at the devil cos I was standing in the place of prayer with her and I already knew how the end would play out and so I told her ‘babes, let’s not magnify this thing more than normal jare and make the devil start feeling important.’ LUBBISH!!! And when that matter was over I told the devil, you sha know who to try. You know that you can’t try that absolute RUBBISH with me cos it can’t even work, OLODO!

And just incase you are wondering, yes I talk back to him sometimes, how else will I tell him to ‘GO TO HELL’. Sometimes I even stop and laugh at him. But most times, phew, I just ignore him, I just couldn’t be bothered. I am more interested in talking to my Lover Jesus and the Holy Spirit and all the angels that need to be sent on many assignments, one of which was asking them to organize my transport back home without sweating. And just incase you wanna know, someone dropped me off at Berger and paid for the cab that took me straight to the gate of my Jmad’s house.

IMG-20130127-00344

And lucky for me JMAD had coconut fried rice, vegetable salad and chicken waiting for me as dinner. JMAD is such a sweetheart. That’s why we call her STARSHIP… Muah… And nope baby, you are not a tadpole :p

JMA (na wah ooo Three pictures in one post. i will charge you ooo)

And meanwhile you do realize that part of the devil’s wiles and antics for that situation would have been to make me hold back some of my seed, and then later he will tell me ‘ha ahn, but you dropped a part already na, who says you have to still drop again. Moreover you know that you need this money for so so and so’ and trust me, the devil would have arranged one stupid “so so and so” need that would make it tougher to drop the money at a later time.

My dear, please don’t even be ignorant of his devices jare and the fact that he talks.

Because he does…

Kisskiss

images

E

PS; You know I always have a PS na. This time it is to tell you that I got a FREE VIP ticket for Comedy goes to church.

Dcc Comedian Acapella ff @mcaccapela. 08067010127 08022476330

Yipeeeeeee!!! I was just staying my own jeje and the ticket jumped on my laps just like that hehehe. I am serious ooo, seriously. I am so rocking the show with my friend this sunday. WHAT!!! Did you just ask which show? D’uh… find details on the FAB Upcoming events segment on my blog and stop being a LASTma…

Come ooo. I’ma see ya there…