Marriage, through the eyes of a young Christian man, @walejana

When Eziaha spoke to me and told me so many nice things about myself, I was blushing!

*Hold that thought*

So what exactly did I tell Wale that got him blushing?

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Wale and Toyin Aladejana

A lil history first. I have never met Wale physically nor his beautiful wife Toyin but they are my BBM buds.

I frankly don’t recall how I met Wale but I know it has to be on a social media site. He has also featured me on his blog here. I recall telling my hubs after Wale told me he and his family were moving to The ‘Buj that at least I am sure of ONE young FAB Christian couple we could be friends with as most of the couples I knew were, well, one kain.

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We talk occasionally and he is such a man of GREAT FAITH. It encourages me all the time. Then the way he talks about his wife is absolutely amazing. Both in the little things and in the big things. He literally ‘carries her on his head’ Hahaha. I knew I would want to feature Wale and Toyin on my blog but I had yet to find the perfect time, until now.

Btw, I want this to be a regular feature, where some other FAB person(s) get to feature on my blog. Suggestions for what it should be called? Please guys.

Ok on to the ‘nice things’. They are actually ‘little things’ but every one/wife/woman knows that it is the LITTLE things that make a BIG difference.

I connected with Toyin for the first time when she was pregnant in November ’14.

Wale's Oluwatoyin and Dumdum

Wale’s Oluwatoyin and Dumdum

All my plans to visit didn’t pull through. She had just moved to the ‘Buj following her husband’s transfer from Benin. Wale had come earlier alone to prepare for her coming so she had just joined him. I imagine that she left a life behind and followed hubby. I don’t even recall what Wale and I were talking about but I guess I was trying to find out how well she was settling in especially as she didn’t exactly have people here. And he said something like

‘…No, she is not working. I GOT HER A JOB to keep her busy but she decided against it because she would soon put to bed so didn’t think there was any need…’

Sounds small abi? But when you have packed your bags and followed your hubby across the Nation and are bored in a city without friends and are pregnant and home alone and the man is proactive and thoughtful enough to do the work of looking for and getting you a job to keep you busy because you don’t really know your way around town enough to job hunt, you would REALLY know what I mean. It is not so much the job but the fact that ‘my wife’s welfare and happiness is MY RESPONSIBILITY.’ Trust me guys, an average man would NOT.

yhh

Second thing was after Toyin had put to bed. Btw I love this line from his birthday message to her…

‘…I was there at the labour room when you were giving birth to our princess, you stayed strong and pushed her out without any complications whilst looking as beautiful as ever. Thank you for giving me this beautiful, feisty princess…’

Awww…

Ehen, so again I don’t recall what we were talking about but it had to do with how they were doing since Dumdum their daughter appeared especially as me I was getting set to pop, and he said something like

The work is too much for her. I am looking for a good help for her. This is like the third one we have gotten…

I had to ask, but she just gave birth under 3months ago na and he was like

Yes, but the first was this, second this, third that…

You could just see a man that was not ready to have his wife die from house and baby work lol. Trust me, I was swooned. A lot of people don’t understand that a baby is a trailer load of work. Add house work to that and even a good woman can get depressed without any/much help EVEN IF SHE IS A FULL TIME STAY AT HOME MOM. (Any body wonder why househelps are PAID?) I for one knew Dumdum was nursing exclusively so I KNOW first-hand how much work it would have been for Toyin.

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You could FEEL it, that Wale needed a good help like yesterday to relieve Toyin, and if it meant we get 50 until we get the right one, NO WAHALA!!! And he was going to be INVOLVED.

Trust me darlings, it is a HUGE deal.

It was the day he told me that he met his wife on FACEBOOK and the story behind their courtship, proposal and wedding that I knew I wanted to feature them here.IMG_5710 (2)

Maybe someday I would feature that story on my blog or maybe he will feature it on his own blog and I will share the link here. Wale knows how to celebrate his wife mehn

But today, I wanted him to just talk about his marriage

Enjoy, unedited…

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When Eziaha spoke to me and told me so many nice things about myself, I was blushing!

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Dumdum at her naming… I think

Glory to God! It still feels like a dream that I am married and I have a princess. It is a lot of responsibility but God has been faithful.

My wife is a very loveable woman, she is so easy to get along with, I believe I am the difficult one and we have our moments like all couples. I need a lot of grace when it comes to patience; I am the shouter and the horn blarer, I am the door banger with a tongue like a whip, I guess the good thing is we never sleep over any offence, we always settle. Many times I would go out of the room and she would call me a coward for running away from arguments but I always come back to the room, never liked the couch and also because I am so intertwined with my wife and daughter. I feel homesick if I am away for more than 2 days. I can’t take any job that will take me away from my family, they are too crucial and too important, no job or amount of money is worth it.

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If men understand how crucial their wives are to their success, accountability would not be very hard. Jesus is married to the church, the man is married to the wife; Christ is the head of the church, man is the head of the wife. Jesus is submitted to God the Father, man is submitted to Jesus. There is a structure which guarantees a flow, Jesus loves the church unconditionally; He respects her, does the best for her and churches bloom! You will agree with me that churches today are synonymous with wealth so much so that pastors are accused of embezzlement and all that. The same way, when a man loves his wife and does the best for her, he will succeed!

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One of the scriptures that have kept me grounded is Malachi 2; 13-16 (NLT)

Here is another thing you do. You cover the LORD’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. 14You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.

15Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his.b And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. 16“For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,c” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”

Many men especially Christian men think that unfaithfulness has to do with not looking at another woman. Husbands need to go and read their wedding vows again to know what unfaithfulness is all about. Many men said those words but they never actually thought about what they were saying and God said He was present when you uttered those words. The traditional wedding vows read thus, ‘will you have this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to live together after God s ordinance in the Holy Estate of Matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others keep you only unto her as long as you both shall live?

Can you say for sure that you are loving your wife, comforting her, honouring her and forsaking all others?

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When your wife is sad, depressed, stressed out and overwhelmed because of your ignorance and the many problems you cause as a man, God is angry with you! And when your wife is happy and at peace and she’s enjoying her life, God is happy and you will feel it!

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Apart from my day job and ministry as a Social Media Evangelist, I have an amazing business and I can trace it back to honouring my wife and making my wife happy. My wife needed a phone and she had never had a 18 carat gold chain before; I knew that getting her those two gifts along with all other expenses that come with having a baby and all others would turn my account to red but I made up my mind to honour her that way and she was so excited and happy. Shortly after, I started this perfume business and in 3 months I made a million from sales then I became a major distributor and now I have 8 distributors under me all of whom made their money back in a week!

 

All of this is done through the social media, I advertise and celebrate my customers on BBM, WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook and whilst I sit at my desk in the office, calls start coming in, they pay to my account and I call my courier person to send to them. I make my salary in mostly 2 weeks. No stress, no wahala whatsoever, the kind of life Adam lived in Eden!

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I am still believing God for many more but I have seen enough of divine provision in my life to know that God will perfect all that concerns us. If many Christian men can understand that their money can be traced to their wives’ happiness they would take them much more seriously. You could say ‘Oh I know many men who have money and treat their wives like crap’ the truth is that such men never end well. The bible is complete, it says in 1 Peter 3;7 (NLT) In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

John D. Rockefeller who is till date the richest man who ever lived after King Solomon had this to say about his wife “her judgement was always better than mine. Without her keen advice, I would be a poor man“. Many men need to understand that the word ‘helper’ in the bible was not talking about someone to cook, clean, wash and make babies. The word ‘helper’ or ‘help meet’ in Hebrew is ‘Ezer’ which means ‘power’ or ‘strength’. So when the Lord God was saying He would create an helper for man, He was not taking about a helper like your house girl, He was talking about a superior being who would be with man to help him achieve his purpose.

yhh

If many men would discuss more of their business ideas and let their wives know how much they have in their bank accounts, they would be way more successful. Women have their downsides as well but if your wife is from God, she is a heavy weight and the faster you realise that the better for your life.

Another thing men must bear in mind is that God is transgenerational in His thinking; husbands must begin to think that way as well. God describes Himself as the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Malachi 2;15 says; Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his.b And what does he want? Godly children from your union. God also said about Abraham in Genesis 18:19 I have singled him out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just. Then I will do for Abraham all that I have promised.”

God is interested in men who will lead their homes after His pattern. How then can you be building a dynasty and not have time for your wife and children? You are chasing money? The men who chase money have it all wrong! If you build according to God’s pattern, money will be chasing you! God does not want you spending all your time working and chasing money because He wants you to focus on the most important reason for bringing you and your wife together and that is to build Godly offspring that will in turn give birth to Godly offspring and the circle continues until you have built a dynasty based on kingdom principles, that is the way you can affect the world! All the troublesome people the world has today can be traced to the families where they were raised! Someone was too busy or not paying attention. You must be available to impact deliberately into the life of your wife and children.

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The latest of anything is always an improved version and the woman was the improved version of the man although the man is the head, God made her everything the man was not. A woman is to a man what God cannot be to him. God was present in Eden with Adam yet He said, ‘it is not good for man to be alone’. I don’t care how successful you think you are but if you keep your wife at arms’ length, you are alone and the bible said it is NOT good!

Unfortunately, it was not Adam who immediately realised how powerful the woman is, it was the devil and in the twinkle of an eye, he had used her to wreak havoc. Ever since then, the devil’s most powerful weapon has been the woman; the Jezebels and the Delilahs and God’s most powerful weapons have been the Daughters of Zion. These are women who understand their role as wives, daughters and mothers who have used their influence with God to bless and protect their husbands, sons and fathers.

It is not easy for a superior to submit to the lesser, many men complain that their wives and girlfriends are not submissive. The only kind of man, a woman finds it easy to submit to is the man who is submitted to God. Mr Husband, Mr. Fiancee, are you submitted to God? Build according to God’s pattern of love and submission will come easily.

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I hope this will not bore you but this is what works for me.

****I wish we didn’t come to THE END***

No Wale, you certainly did NOT bore us. This was deep and HOT… I can’t wait to meet you and your family finally.

Oya ladies, married and especially single, please share with the men in your life.

Wale blogs the Goodnews at www.mytestimonys.blogspot.com and is on twitter and Instagram @walejana

He spreads the gospel proudly via his social media handles and his daily devotionals, told like a story are amazing.

He is also one PROUD member of COZA.

I hope this blessed you. Like I said, I would open up my blog to more godly blogposts from my readers. If you have something you think would bless us from YOUR LIFE, holler.

Suggestions? Holler too. This is a CHRISTIAN blog ooo. Ehen.

Mail as always to eziaha@eziaha.com

 

Be FRUITFUL guys,

Oh hol’ up.

Was gonna wrap this up and schedule when Wale sends me a message sharing an awesome testimony I have to share here. Recall at the start of this I mentioned that Wale is a man of great FAITH?

Please read in his own words. What a FAITHFUL God

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So it happened that someone had been monitoring my activities on Facebook: the social media evangelism and the perfume business.

The person called me and said…

‘Wale, I want you to expand your business so you can cater for all classes of people…’

Next thing he brought out his cheque book and began to write. I thought it was 100k but it was 1million naira. 1,000 000. I was speechless and he was just smiling at me. As a proper Yoruba boy, I went flat on the floor and he just said ‘Don’t worry about it.

Guess who is storming Dubai in a bit? Yep, yours truly. We are taking over the Oud market and it is world class from now on baby.

I just want to encourage someone. It may seem as if God has forgotten all your seeds but get ready for a shocker. Strangers will walk towards you and just bless you. God will owe no man, never forget that. He is a rewarder to those who FAITHFULLY serve Him.

 

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WOW!!! OH WOW!!!

Perfect timing. I needed to add this to this story to this post. On all his social media handles, he shares a daily devotional (his own) and then he shares his OUD perfume business.

Someone had been watching and God decides to use that person, WITHOUT HIM ASKING, to bless him.

Yaaaay!!! God is faithful abeg.

 

Be Fruitful guys,

E’

 

Why am I still single Part 2… A message preached by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo

Ok guys, sorry this is coming about 2weeks later than I mentioned. My internet has been craps!!! Please read Part 1 here ICYMI

Ok so we continue from number

4. Are you able?

Do you have capacity as in financial capacity? Of course not to say you must have the whole money in the whole world but even at this level, can we see some fruits that tell us you are going in the right direction? Because some guys KNOW they cannot marry yet and not even in the near future but they keep misleading and wasting the lady’s time. They become HUMAN DELAYS and are just in a relationship for the fun of it. THE PURPOSE OF A RELATIONSHIP IS TO MARRY OOO not just to date forever.

Hello men, women don’t wanna marry a poor brother ooo please and don’t spiritualise it. Will you let your daughter marry a poor prospect-free efulefu? No. they cannot marry in faith because the landlord will not collect rent ‘in faith’. The principal will not collect school fees ‘in faith’. My brother, go and work. Marriage is an expensive venture darlings so are you able? Of course same goes for the women, please bring something to the table too.

At this point PK clarifies that story that he didn’t have anything when he married Pastor M incase any brother wanna use that as an excuse to trap a woman. Yes he was not rich but he had something he was doing with his life. He had faith and it was real because it had started producing results. ANY FAITH WITHOUT RESULTS IS FAKE!!! He was already in ministry and though he didn’t have liquid cash, he had a car already gotten entirely by FAITH (He shared the story again). He also had a place he was living and could afford the basics at least. So please PK had faith then, he still has faith and that faith is still producing. All you need to see is potential. If he says he has faith, what has the faith produced since? Are you on course? Are you making any progress? Ehen then you can now hook up with a spouse who is also on course and then things will move on upwards from there. That is how we know you are ABLE.

He also spoke on materialism. Good girls are actually not hard to impress. A good godly girl will understand even if you don’t have it all then. A woman is like an incubator so when you plant that seed inside of her she will nurture it till it grows. So if you have real faith and are bold and eloquent enough, you can convince her to marry you even if her level seems higher that yours at the time. For example, PK with an OND married Pastor M who had a Masters by then. He had a vision and convinced her of it plus promises sef (I will take you round the world) and she married because she is a godly woman and now, it is happening. (He promised her EXCITING or you can just read all the posts in that series here)

PK and PM

PK and PM

Even when they were going to marry, they didn’t have all the money (Pastor M was still doing her MASTERS then while PK was already in full time ministry) but they had faith, confidence, and were led by God and there were weddings and no, the church money no enter am. So please, no loafers whose faith have produced nothing yet not even transport fare. Siddon ehn, tighten your faith belt well, get on the word because faith works before you jump enter marriage.

And again, being financially able ain’t limited to men alone. A woman too should bring something to the table.

Socially, emotionally, mentally ability is also important. In marriage, you would have to be making adjustments and sacrifices to your life, to tolerate. He that would get married will have trouble in the flesh meaning inconveniences which is why Paul says he wants to save us from it all so stay single hehehe (Ephesians )

A mommy’s boy is NOT ABLE – (All those ‘I cannot marry anybody except my mother agrees’ comedian boys)

A selfish self-centred person is NOT ABLE

Just get the message for more biko hehehe. Now the final one

5.Are you amiable?

Are you Pleasant, good natured, likeable? Are you attractive? There is something about beauty and neatness that attracts. Nope, you don’t have to be Miss World to be attractive. Everybody can be attractive. Please order the message 7ways to be a more attractive person. Call our number which I have provided at the end.

Ever noticed that in a group, some people are more attractive than the others and everyone wants to be around them not because they are the finest ooo but because they are amiable. Are you likeable or always frowning? Are you always neat or dirty? It is possible that your physique, cleanliness, ethics and etiquette is what is keeping you single ooo. Ladies you must have your bath at least twice a day: Morning and night. Men can even get away with bathing just once. And you must bath with soap and sponge not just one of the two. The work of soap is different from the work of sponge so using one is like brushing with either only toothpaste or only toothbrush. They must go together to get the best results. You must brush twice daily too. If you have smelling breath issues, visit a dentist and fix it. (Read my dental hygiene post).

Mouth ordor cannot be cured with prayers and fasting ooo. It would even make it worse. Could be food accumulating in spaces in the teeth and the mixture cannot smell nice when you talk. Just visit a dentist and have them diagnose and deal with it. Feel free to have breath mints and co handy to keep your breath fresh.

And he tells the story that makes me laugh EVERYTIME I am listening to the message lol. Here goes

So back then in his worldly days, he went to this boutique to buy some cloths. Back then boutiques in Festac were small and all so as he was there, this girl entered and that was the end of everyone breathing. Her stench filled up everywhere. You can’t talk or laugh because you are just managing yourself to breath small small. Omo, as the girl comot, see how everyone took deep breaths lol. Dem begin breath again. The boutique owner brought out spray and sprayed everywhere hahahaha. PK said instead of her to go and buy soap and sponge, she was coming to buy cloths. Dem suppose baptize am in Izal and Dettol leave am there to soak lol.

So dear, sponge is to scrub all the sweat that accumulates on the skin, with the help of the soap. You must shave your armpit because those hair there will hold odour even if you bath twice. Pk says some people need to use that iron sponge for pot hahaha.

But really as a woman, if you are dirty, what HOPE do your kids have??? Ugh!!!

Also dress well. Not everything in vogue would fit you. Don’t be pressured. Wear what fits and look good in it. Do your hair neat and fine and let it fit. It don’t have to be Brazilian ooo. Tz not she wey get Brazilian dey marry hahahaha. Plus men don’t even know the difference.

Have good character and be polite as a lifestyle not only when you see an eligible bachelor. Use ‘please’ and ‘excuse me’ regularly. Don’t walk into a place and not greet everyone especially when new in a place. You dunno who the boss may be. He may not look like it ooo. Kai, rude girls are a huge turn off.

Have you been blessed today/tonight?

Lol.

This is how PK and now PM end their preaching. Even other Ministers in church

Evening, morning, afternoon or today, once you hear that, sermon is over in DCC Lagos.

Trust you enjoyed this. Please share with your single friends, male and female especially your Single and ready for marriage ones. You can worship with DCC in Lagos.

Victory Dome Behind PHCN Office, Fatgbems Bus Stop, Amuwo Odofin, Lagos

1st Service – 7.00am 2nd Service – 8.30am 3rd Service – 10.00am

Midweek service Wednesday 6.30pm

DCC Victoria Island, Elegushi Beach Road, Beside Meadow Hall School, After 3rd Roundabout, Lekki, Lagos.

Sunday Service – 11.00am

Rush Hour Fellowship (Midweek service especially for those who work on the Island) Tuesdays – 6pm at Silverbird Cinema, Hall 4.

Instead of going to enter traffic, enjoy Rush hour fellowship and be refreshed.

Love Dating and Marriage (the program where this message and such relationship messages are preached) holds at different intervals in the year. If you would call our numbers, they can send you reminder texts if you wish. Website: http://davidschristiancentre.org/ Phone number: 08077714411

See you this weekend with WEEKEND BANTS. Since we are publishing Friday, weekend bants will appear on Sunday.

Blessed weekend guys…

E’

Why am I still SINGLE? A message preached by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo

I just love this message. I am not sure but I think this was the last LoveDating&Marriage seminar I attended at DCC Lagos. I love it so much that it is the last Singles message left on my phone. It just seemed soooooo practical and useful. So this is dedicated to all my Single FABers. So much to learn from it. Preached by my Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo wpid-pastor-k.jpg So why am I still single? He answers this with 5 questions… Enjoy.

  1. Am I available?

Some people are actually NOT available but they think they are. Some actions or way of life make you NOT available in the ‘Singles market’ which is actually over saturated. There are some mindsets you may have which unknown to you may be sending out vibes to men that you are not available eg Do you always walk around with this thought ‘there are no good men/women anymore’ whilst praying for one? Honey, daz not ghanna wok. As a (wo)man thinketh in his heart, SO IS HE!!! Also if you are carrying emotional baggage, you may think you are available but you are not.

photo courtest intl workplace

photo courtest intl workplace

The energy flowing from you ain’t in line with what you praying for. It is like a house which has a ‘Welcome to our home’ doormat but yet a big dog right at the entrance. You know you ain’t welcome. Emotional baggages would keep getting in the way of conversations with even remotely interested opposite sex and aint nobody got time to continually hear about your ex John who dumped you or whatever horrid happened in the past. Please let God heal any hurt from your past. Also are you dating someone you KNOW you cannot marry whilst yet claiming ‘Single’? Eg dating a married man or some ‘bad guy’.

photo courtesy blogherdotcom

photo courtesy blogherdotcom

You may be thinking you are just holding that person in the mentime till the ‘Mr Right’ comes along but hunnay, you are sending signals even you don’t know about and people can pick those signals. You are emotionally involved no matter what you think. Usually when you meet someone, you are NOT as interested as a fully single person is only you don’t know.

Also, if there is this ‘Bro John’ you have been ‘claiming’ although dude has neither said anything nor is he feeling you laidat. That HUGE emotional investment in Bro John has made you less emotionally available to others but you dunno. It will be clear that there is NO VACANCY in your life for other people. Please don’t lose a good guy waiting on Bro John whom you have seen in a vision lol. Keep it moving and ‘empty’ Love. Bro John aint interested. PK tells the story of this girl in this uni who was overheard praying and claiming a certain ‘Bro John’ who everyone knows was already engaged to ‘Sister Mary’. The girl just dey pray dey claim the man calling out his name and surname sef. You see such a lady, though she is single, she ain’t available. Another way to check if you are available is to find out if you have unrealistic standards. The person some ladies/guys wanna marry is A PEOPLE- 4/5 in one person. I wrote a post on that here. Nobody is 100% and hey even if there was someone like that, guess what? That person wont be able to stand you cos you are not 100%. I want a man that is very romantic, rich, successful, Prayer warrior, Bible teacher, good singer like Don or Kirk, humble like Adeboye, have faith like Oyedepo, excellent like Adefarasin, Prayer warrior like Olukoya, funny like PK, HABA SISTER, ONLY YOU!!!??? Humans are work in progress. That spouse doesn’t have to come 100% perfect 2. Are you accessible?

Photo from Flickr

Photo from Flickr

Some people are available and eligible but they are NOT accessible. They cannot be reached. Nobody got access to her.

Photo from flickr

Photo from flickr

Almost like all those sheltered children whose father had this shotgun or a big dog for any man that dared to visit.

You are certainly not welcome on this property... Photo from Flickr

You are certainly not welcome on this property… Photo from Flickr

As a single person, you must be able to be reached. You can’t be praying for a spouse and continually sit in your room under your bed, tz only mosquito that will see you. And God. But God doesn’t wanna marry. Ain’t no eligible person gonna come under your bed and see you. Which is why it is good for instance to belong to a church and a service group. Too much stories of couples who met whilst serving in church.

photo courtesy mix949

photo courtesy mix949

Being a member of the church ain’t enough especially if you are in all those big churches. Chances that you would be seen are low when all you do is come in, worship and after service you just leave. Ah!!! Bae, how is that gonna work? Join a department/small unit/connect group/house fellowship and let people SEE you and interact with you.

photo courtesy crossedroadsabc.com

photo courtesy crossedroadsabc.com

Not that you just rush into your car after every service without interacting with anybody. Don’t always walk sooooo fast. If you are single, reduce your pace hehehe. But frankly, I met one of my readers who said some people complained that she always walks too fast and with a straight face everytime in church and so was unapproachable. So please, catwalk ehn. Especially as a lady because these guys just dey try arrange themselves, gather stamina and muster courage to talk to you but before they reach you, you don disappear. And as a guy too, you gast be wise/. He tells the story of how in Bible school, first day he spotted this girl he thought he would like to get to know. Unfortunately, they didn’t sit so close. The next day he came early and sat close to the area the girl sat, made it a habit and kept finding reasons to communicate with her even if it meant copying notes he already had and asking questions he already had the answers to. ‘Excuse me, did you copy the assignment?’ ‘Did you get what that teacher said here?’ Of course, they started talking from there. My dear, you must be accessible as a single. Position yourself well. Have hobbies and be involved in them. Be sociable. Have friends. Obviously, he is not talking clubbing and stuff. There is healthy clean fun. Take yourself out if you have to, somebody might meet you there ooo. Nobody must take you there ooo. And while you are there, please be looking around small small. Like my Rev would say, watch and pray 3. Be approachable

From a recent shooting with Nemorosa. Thanks for the great shooting!

From a recent shooting with Nemorosa. Thanks for the great shooting!

Some people are available, they are accessible but to approach them is a different, impossible ball game. If you need to practice how to smile in front of a mirror, please do. Some ladies have a natural frowning face. A lot of men are not bold and they fear rejection so imagine they now gather courage to walk up to you and say hi or anything else to initiate conversation and you just size them up and down and are generally not very polite or welcoming.

photo courtesy flickr

photo courtesy flickr

The guy will just change mouth, turn you to traffic warden and ask you for direction or to borrow bible or something else. Anything but what he was on his mind because your countenance is bad. Please greet people and respond warmly. He that hath friend must show himself friendly. Recall Rebekah and how approachable and friendly she was to Abby’s servant and how she landed herself a rich young eligible blessed man. Another thing is when ladies always walk together like a gang and their countenance makes it hard for any guy to get that opportunity to speak to one privately. Don’t look down on people who don’t have it all now and be like ‘he is not my type’ lol. Some of these hunks we see now have not always been hunks ooo. For example see Rev and PK’s Surulere pix hehehe

hahahahahaha lol

hahahahahaha lol. I wish I can see the third man now

See them today

See them today

so some of these guys you boning now may be multi-millionaires in a few years. No use today scatter your tomorrow. Be approachable. That’s all for Part 1. Part 2 will be up same time next week. That’s Tuesday. Until then, share with your friends aii… Especially your Single and ready for marriage ones Trust you enjoyed this. Please share with your single friends, male and female and you can worship with DCC here WORSHIP WITH US DCC Lagos Victory Dome Behind PHCN Office, Fatgbems Bus Stop, Amuwo Odofin, Lagos 1st Service – 7.00am 2nd Service – 8.30am 3rd Service – 10.00am Midweek service Wednesday 6.30pm DCC Victoria Island Elegushi Beach Road, Beside Meadow Hall School, After 3rd Roundabout, Lekki, Lagos. Sunday Service – 11.00am Rush Hour Fellowship (Midweek service especially for those who work on the Island) Tuesdays:                    6pm at Silverbird Cinema, Hall 4. Instead of going to enter traffic, enjoy Rush hour fellowship and be refreshed. Love Dating and Marriage (the program where this message and such relationship messages are preched) holds at different intervals in the year. If you would call our numbers, they can send you reminder texts if you wish. Website: http://davidschristiancentre.org/ Phone number: 08077714411   And then of course we have our annual WHEN WOMEN WORSHIP coming up next week. Please click on link to get all the details. Friday June 19- Sunday June 21.

WHEN WOMEN WORSHIP 2015

WHEN WOMEN WORSHIP 2015

Ladies, you know you can’t afford to miss this one. Hosted of course by Pastor Mildred Kingsley-Okonkwo

Gorgeously preggo

Gorgeously preggo

Stay blessed y’all

E’

PS

In the, an amazing relationship blogger and sister has this beautiful post up on tips to surviving wedding season. Check it out here http://www.inthemidstofher.com/2015/05/5-tips-to-surviving-wedding-season.html

Feel free to snoop around her amazing blog too

Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo

Let’s give ’em som’in to be proud about…

I love mentor-mentee relationships… Especially those within the kingdom. I love such phrases as…
‘…one of my sons was telling me…’
‘…my father in the faith/Lord said…’
‘…one of my mentees came to see me…’
I really look out for such phrases whenever I am listening to a message or reading a book.
I know that we can’t run this race alone without healthy associations or mentoring and I am VERY WARY of men of God who just appear from nowhere without any ‘father figure’ in their ministry… I listen to/read a good number of preachers and I can tell
‘oh, so so and so is this person’s mentor…’ and all.
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I especially love when a mentor is invited to preach in a mentee’s church and I listen VERY CLOSELY to the introduction by the mentee and the opening statements by the mentor of the mentee… it gives me a beautiful idea of their relationship and I am looking for what to ‘steal’ from that. Funny yeah? Loooool… But tz wisdom…
This morning, I was listening to a message preached by Rev Femi in his own Pastor, Rev Victor Adeyemi’s church convention in my final year.
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I was a part of the protocol that went with Rev and I was just smiling as I recalled all that went down as Rev Victor introduced Rev. All the glowing things one Rev said about the other and also what Rev’s wife had to say about their relationship with Rev Victor and his family… You could literally feel the honor they have for their Pastor… Ditto the love. I could also tell how immensely PROUD of Rev Femi that Rev Victor is… IMMENSELY… And trust me, I have heard Rev Victor talk PLENTY times about Rev in different meetings.
With such a ‘son’ like Rev Femi, you would be proud. Proud that God called you into ministry in the first place…
And then i thought,
‘Am I giving the mentor figures in my life something to be proud about? Can they give such a good report about me too? Is their mentorship in vain or fruitful? All the sweating they sweat on the pulpit, all the time they spend on one-on-ones, am I making them of much or no effect? Can they truly say ‘Eziaha, I am proud of you…?’

Hmm…
I am still answering some of those questions and making necessary adjustments…
Yesterday was my Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo’s birthday and he happens to be birthday mates with his ‘son’ who pastors DCC Abuja.
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Trust me, Pastor Busayo is a son in whom the Okonkwo’s are well pleased. And judging by the love that was shown to Pastor B too, I can say DCC as a whole is well pleased in him too. I spent a month plus in DCC Abuja and Pastor B’s zeal and passion is something else. Truly, like Father like son… I really look forward to moving to Abuja and joining DCC Abuja and doing God’s work cos I have seen how this ‘son’ is as fiercely loyal to God’s work as he is to God’s servant PK.
I love that Pk can say of Pastor B,
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‘This is my son in whom I am well pleased…’
Kai, all this kain tin dey sweet me. I love healthy loving vertical relationships… I especially love to study the ‘lesser’ person especially the one that Hebrews 7:7 says is being blessed as a result of honoring the ‘greater’ and in whom the greater is well pleased…
And the scripture is replete with such healthy relationships… Paul and Timothy, Joshua and Moses, Elijah and Elisha, etc. Remember I said HEALTHY not PERFECT. There are NO perfect people…
I did a lot of thinking this morning… till now.
I will still meditate on this…
I don’t want to be a lazy mentee, or one that a mentor would brand ‘unserious’. The kind that would keep coming for counsel but will still go away and do NOTHING about it…
It is FOOLISH to ignore what your FATHER taught you… Prov 15:5
I certainly don’t want to be a foolish mentee…
That foolish mentee that would see trouble coming, ignore the mentors advice and enter… or will I obey and avoid it… (Prov 22:3)
I have decided that I want to give my mentors plenty to be proud about…
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Let them know that their labour over me is NOT in vain…
And just incase you are wondering why the focus is on mentors and pastors…
That is simple…
I Cor 11:1… IMITATE/FOLLOW me, just as I IMITATE/FOLLOW Christ…
My mentors FOLLOW Christ… Serious copy-copy these spiritual fathers of mine. Totally sold out. Me sef no dey shame as I dey do my own follow follow ooo…
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#DontJudgeMe . (I should have titled this post FOLLOW FOLLOW)
They also take their calling and following VERY seriously because they know they are accountable to the Boss, God!!!
Heb 13:17… Obey your LEADERS and FOLLOW their orders. They watch over your souls without resting knowing that they MUST give God an ACCOUNT of their SERVICE…

So tge onus is now on YOU to FOLLOW the right fathers and mentors…

If you go follow blind mentor, na ditch you go enter ooo (Matt 15:!4). And you won’t give God som’in to be proud about…
Your call…

Oh btw, tz two months today
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and “I’M STILL DO” too
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Signing those dotted lines? BEST decision of my LIFE (after being born-again of course…). We are caps off grateful dear God…
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And with both of us FOLLOWING these couple mentors as they IMITATE Christ even in their marriages, you can be sure that this walk/work will keep getting better and better… And we will continue to enjoy THE MARRIAGE OF OUR DREAMS… Amen.

My testifier tomorrow is another ‘follow-follow’ woman. I love her to smithereens… And tomorrow is such a special day in her life… YAY!!! Can’t wait…

And seriously, thank you to the F.A.B community for all your support and loving… keep spreading the link to the blog. Tz pretty easy http://www.eziaha.com
And so is my besties blog http://www.dumebie.com
Yay!!!
Booski kicked off her blog just a couple of weeks ago and she has upgraded to dotcomtinz. If you are still on a http://www.???.WORDPRESS.com and you started blogging eons ago, COVER YOUR FACE!!! :p
Yes I am yabbing you… y’all know yourselves…
And yup, my email is now
*drumroll*
eziaha@eziaha.com
Whoooooooop!!!
If you are a blogger on a dotcom level and you need a customized email address, holla. Tz free btw…
You are welcome…
🙂

Muah

E’
Going Forward… Still Testifying

PS:
Just as I put finishing touches to this post, Priceless pings me to harass me cos I haven’t updated the blog, asking me if I have sold it.
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So I said I will yab her… so this is me yabbing her… FOLLOW FOLLOW…
Ah Priceless and her hubby are confirmed FOLLOW FOLLOW too ooo. Amazing couple. I love the BUNDLES… Her testifying post is also loading…
Oh btw, I already mentioned that I have OVER 31 voices already right… Yup. So entries closed… thank you for understanding
🙂

PPS:

First LDM comes up this Sunday at 4.30pm
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Where PK gets all these titles is indeed between him and God… hehehe.
If you are in Lagos, please attend. DCC is in Amuwo Odofin. Call 080777714411 for all the details you need…

PPPS:

You guys thought I was cooking up a storm abi? Pastor M cooked up a tornado yesterday while I was waiting for a blog post…
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Choi…
Woman of God (and hubby) keep moving the goal post…
I wish I visited. 😦
BTW, watch out on http://www.justusgirlsnaija.com this Sunday morning. The post would be live then… Tz also Pastors appreciation day…

Na the same marriage be dis…?

I usually don’t like sensationalism. And in Nigeria, we thrive on it. I hear a lot of sensational news and I usually have an opinion which I sometimes want to share on my blog, but I have learnt to keep it, whether in support or against, to myself as I don’t want to further spread a gist I would rather died down. But two days ago, I saw this tweet by a news blog site on a certain comedienne whose 7 MONTH OLD MARRIAGE HAD CRASHED!!!
First thing I thought was that being that she is a comedian, they must be joking.
‘Cheap bloggers looking to drive traffic to their blog with sensational news…’ Mschewww.
And then later, I saw it on Linda Ikeji’s blog complete with a quote from the horse’s mouth. Look if it was America, I wouldn’t even blink but to hear this in Naija…? That problems started within two weeks and in a couple of months, they were already separated but didn’t go public with it till now…
Then I asked myself… ‘Na this same marriage dem dey talk?
I was so vexed in my spirit. Like, are you guys kidding me right now? Aku m just kept wondering why I take things like this too personal… I didn’t stop sighing and hissing.
I was still smarting from that yesterday when I saw the story of a PREGNANT woman who allegedly sliced her hubby’s penis. I usually don’t look at ‘viewer’s discretion advised’ pictures but I didn’t know when I chanced upon the gory pictures while reading the story both from the man and his wife’s account. The story was just incredible. How does a man and his wife become this set of people who fight and involve neighbors, chase each other down the street, pour plate of beans on this head, break plastic on the other’s head, and all sort of dirty unimaginable things IN FRONT OF YOUR SON. Then before we know it, we are talking of a sliced penis which happened in the middle of the night when husband and wife should be asleep in each other’s arms biko nu… Though woman says it was her fingernails she used, man insists it was a knife and frankly darlings, I am going with the man. Aint no finger or teeth bad enough to do that damage I saw ooo.
I can’t put a picture here. Please Google. Or visit LIB…
Thank God it could be stitched. Thank heavens dude made it alive ooo. My spirit was really down at that news. And when I am upset, I gripe. I griped and hissed and sighed so much to Aku m that he just gave up on me and continued playing the Subway surfers I taught him ooo. I kept on asking myself…
‘Na this same marriage dem dey talk…?’
I was still saddened by that when an update on the case of the Arowolo’s came up on Channels TV news at 10. I could have sworn someone was out to make me real mad by bringing all these stories to me in quick succession. Kilode?!?!?!?! The case of the man Kolade accused of allegedly killing his wife Titi in 2011. Almost two years now and case is still in court. The pathologist who did her autopsy said she was stabbed 76 TIMES and the hubby claims that she inflicted such pain on herself by herself when they were fighting because she was mentally unstable, meanwhile he had just about 12 injuries, some even superficial. How does someone stab herself 76 times biko nu? Too sad!!! And Titi was just 29 years YOUNG with her whole life ahead of her when she passed…
Abeg, again I ask, na marriage be this?
Most of us know that my hubby is a lawyer so he took it upon himself to torment me even further by giving me more real life examples of marriages gone south with plenty of drama… How does a woman POUND her husband to death? How does a man beat away pregnancy from this same wife that he will pull moves on under the sheets at night? How does a husband and wife get to the point where they argue to a point where it gets physical, involves neighbors and then even leads to such grave physical injuries and death in extreme cases…
How do you even start having problems in a marriage of TWO WEEKS? Shouldn’t you still be on honeymoon? Or did the problems start BEFORE the wedding but you chose to turn a blind eye and be a wishful thinker?
And where there are misunderstandings in the marriage, can’t they both work it out in a loving atmosphere? Why are people too quick to head for seperations and the Court when they should be running to the altar where the covenant was cut in the first place?
Like Bolaji said, it has become easier, even cool to divorce or separate because they have many examples ahead of them to look at… Many people are doing it now… Stars and non-Stars (lol) and they are still alive, no?
Chai!!!! Na this same marriage be this?
Truly, no marriage is immune to issues and even the big D. We all have to work to make our marriage the marriage of our dreams…
But even before we get to the big DO, we need to be sure we are choosing rightly. We need to be sure we are letting God lead us in this choice because frankly you can’t run this thing called marriage in the physical ooo. Recently, a female friend asked my husband if she should continue in a relationship even as her boyfriend keeps beating her. That will he change? I mean, why do we ladies do this to ourselves? If he is beating you in courtship, of course he will beat you in marriage. You don’t even need the Holy Spirit to know that. If he is even threatening to beat you in courtship, that’s a RED flag right there… Shine ya eye…
If he/she is sha beating you in marriage, by all means, for your safety and life, biko separate temporary while you try to work things out from a safe distance. There are many more Titi-like stories out there…
And by all means please, if you are not convinced of that partner, please DO NOT MARRY. Forget the pressures from anyone, be it mother, father, aunties, uncles, society, etc. Let them pressure you, no answer them ooo. Na only you go marry not them. You are in it alone. After the wedding, no one follows you home. No one will be there when you are suffering the wrong choice they have pressured you into making.
And nne, when that choice leads you to hell, either in form of a separation, a divorce or even death, they will be the first to spread your news and mock you. You are better off single and happy than married and mad/divorced/separated. If you don’t feel a conviction from the Holy Spirit complete with the peace of God, please let that person go. A broken relationship is way better than a broken marriage. I truly wish these people knew this… I feel so sorry for people who have these issues and I can’t even imagine how they feel…

Now, I know that I am not qualified to be the one to talk to anybody about pressure. True, I was blessed enough to have that aspect of my life sorted out for me really early. I won’t lie and say I know how it feels that another year has gone by and left you single and frankly 2014 doesn’t look any brighter. But I have a Sugar daddy and He knows how to say ‘You will testify’ and then gives you SPEECHLESS testimonies. Do you wanna ask Dumebi? Or Pastor M?

I can pray to that Sugar daddy… I will be standing in the gap for you too…
I truly pray for my single (and even married) friends, YOU TOO WILL HAVE AND ENJOY THE MARRIAGE OF YOUR DREAMS…
Stay with God, work His Word and I am trusting God that those of you who so desire will make the right spirit-led, pressure-free choice and will testify this coming year 2014.
Some cheery news to end this Post…
I kept on asking ‘na marriage be this’ as I recounted these stories above because I can’t even imagine the marriage that I have been in for exactly one month today being anything short of heavenly…

I mean, how? It has been one whole month of heaven on earth and I have never been happier with this man…

30:11:2013 to 30:12:2013
One month of my heaven on earth because I have my perfect slice of heaven with me on this journey…
We just got started baby

And just incase a clown is thinking ‘…Tz just one month E’. Too early to say… Wait until later before you start talking ooo cos you never know…’
Bleh…

Because we are right living people, our marriage path shall continually glow with light. The longer we stay married, the brighter our marriage shines…
And aint natin the devil can do abourrit…

Love you forever baby…
Then I am thrilled about the 31 Fab voices kicking off in January. Whoop!!! Burying the devil, one testimony after another… Remember, we are looking at our plans for 2014 and NOT how our 2013 went. So feel free to share your plans- the good, the funny, the serious, etc- for 2014 with the FAB community and let’s pray together and also learn from each other too. And yup, you can still send your entries…
Then my final post for the year comes up tomorrow. I keep thinking of how I want it to go… I am trusting God for inspiration ooo looool.
Meanwhile, two posts I ran into and thought fabulous enough to share with y’all
http://marriagebydbook.wordpress.com/
SEXPLICIT… which talked to the ladies on staying sexually pure…
State of the Union. Amazing post on how couples need to do regular reviews. Singles and married, y’all need to read this. I am even taking this beyond married couples to the relationships in our lives whether with lovers or friends. It is very imperative that the relationships in our lives are reviewed from time to time so that we are sure we are building healthy relationships and not just wasting our time and lives…
Oh then this one on Vine Magazine on ‘If staying married is so difficult, why get married?’
http://vinemag.com/if-staying-married-is-so-difficult-why-get-married/
Awesome piece…
Alright, let me get out of your faces… FOR NOW
Hugs and Kisses,
E’

When we celebrate… DCC style

 

I attend the world’s most amazing church!!!

 

#JustSaying#

#It’sTrueTho#

#DCCrocks…Dazall#

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So this rocking church of mine is celebrating 17years of 100% victory All the way…

Excited.com

It is our birthday… Actually our month. So every sunday will rock…

Starting from tomorrow…

Sunday, September 01, 2013

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Consider this your special invite…

No better time to visit (and maybe join us)

Tomorrow morning

7.30am first celebration service

9am Second celebration service

Laolu Gbenro will be ministering in songs…

It will be a Party tomorrow.

Whoop!!!

Can’t wait!!!

Then that evening…

Special LDM session…

LDM is our monthly relationship seminar…

Love Dating and Married…

This month’s theme is

*gen gen*wpid-LDM-SPECIAL-Sab.jpg

Why Marry…

Lol. I love the title.

Well at least I know one reason why I wanna marry!!!

Because when a good Faithful man like Bolaji Olojo finds a FAB virtuous woman like Eziaha Ajaero, by goodness, of course they should marry!!!

What are they waiting for na…?

#OkE’ShutUp#

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Don’t mind me jare. I’m just so excited about DCC’s victory…

Such a joy to be a part of this Family of God…

A place where Young people redefine service to God.

wpid-tri-pub.jpegVery driven young persons… Diligent, Passionate, worded, loaded, Souled out to God young persons. Oh my!!! Thank you dear Jesus for bringing me to such a church.

A lot of young people ask me…

‘ E’ how do you manage to stay so christian? Love God the way you do? And so on…’

I said I’ll do a post or series of posts on that but one of the major reasons is that I have been blessed with incredibly good churches.

Everywhere I find myself. Cos church has this incredible way of gingering you… A good church that is ooo… And also being involved not just going to warm the seats ooo… Being an active member… Yup, that works wella for your faith…

“…Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together or forsaking the assembling of ourselves together as some do but spurring each other on, exhorting and encouraging one another especially as we see the big Day approaching…”

Heb 10: 25 E’s mix version…

Ok, I’ll stop here…

Again, DCC dome (Yes we have a dome which we have christened VICTORY DOME) is located at Fatgbems bus stop, behind PHCN office right off Oshodi Apapa express way…wpid-dcc-dome-640x480.jpeg

And yup, transportation is available all around Lagos… Call 08077714411 for deets…

Come and enjoy our celebration of 17years with us and have a taste of Victory DCC style…

Don’t forget your dancing shoes.

You can also watch us stream live at http://www.davidschristiancentre.org

And to all DCC members, may we all raise our glasses and toast to many more years of Victory ahead…

Victory Cheers…

E’

Your Girlfriend is NOT your wife… Part deux

Yay,

At the time you read this, I should be in Asaba…

Whoop!!! Or maybe on my way… I hope I am sha

Cos the plan is/was to leave on monday morning…

Anyhoo, either way, I am excited that my girl would soon be a MRS traditionally…

Ok lemme not use excitement to fill up the post…

we still on YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS NOT YOUR WIFE and this is Part 2. If you missed Part 1, use the search button on my blog to find it. You need to read Part 1 before Part 2 as it is a continuation…

It was preached by our dearly beloved Pastor kingsley Okonkwo of David’s Christian Centre, Lagos

pk21 Yup He is BAD like that and drives a POWER BIKE…

Let’s continue…

So we discussed the 7QUESTIONS WISE WOMEN ASK…

One of the questions is

‘Why me? Why do you wanna marry me?’

Very crucial question… You need to know why the dude is marrying you ooo, amongst all the billions of women in the world. Cos that question and the answer will be very needed later in marriage, years after the initial gragra is over loool.

If he doesn’t give you a good answer, please keep it moving.

This one, I find it hard to believe but PK says some people actually say ‘because I like the way you pound yam’

I know PK didn’t make this up but I find this hard to believe…

Or ‘I have been saying I must marry a Calabar girl and you are the first Calabar girl I am meeting now…’

Kai, men and women alike, be wise and smart ok…

Charm, charisma, Ajebutter etc are all VAIN and fleeting reasons. I know you love the way she swings her hips when she walks, gesticulates and rolls her eyes when she talks and bends her hand funny…

PK calls it chicken fingers/hand and it come from eating too much chicken bought by men loool

But with a hand like that, she aint gonna do no washing, cleaning or working so you gotta get you some washing machines and house helps yo…

And no, you lost the right to complain. You deserve who you marry…

The things ndi nwoke n’acho are the very things that may end up being their undoing…

SMH

So how do you differentiate a girl friend from a wifey…?

I will share a few here and then in my concluding post, I will complete it…

girlfriend not wife

1. A girlfriend is always FAKE;

Have you met some girls like that? Remain small make dem tell you say they don’t even BREATHE in Nigeria. They will claim that they don’t shop in Naija, only UK, and chances are that she has only gone once. They always ALWAYS pretend. If you were in a University in Nigeria, chances are that you met MANY of them… Sad thing is that some men are tripped by all the fakeness… ewww. Men, trust me, you want a REAL DOWN-TO-EARTH woman. All that fake behavior will count for nothing in marriage that is if it leads to the altar sef. Of course, we know that there are girls who are naturally like that but we know that there are VERY few. The rest are FAKE. Ladies, please be yourself. Stop acting up just so a man can marry you. E no go last ooo. You can’t fake it forever. If you speak pidgin on a good day, feel free to speak it with any guy, especially an intended. If you don’t, ehen ok… The deal is BE REAL… But you know in Naija, pidgin is a lingua franca…

#Justsaying#

It doesn’t hurt to know some local stuff. The most annoying has to be when they now funkify a Yoruba/Igbo word all for forming sake biko nu… They roll Oshodi around till it has an R

😮

Then some dey form say dem no dey enter bus or bike only drop/cab… be putting the guys under pressure. I had a close friend like that in Uni. During the day, she takes only cabs. At night, she flies bike eh… Which kain pressure be that abeg? Of course, for some people, this comes easy to them but if you have to bike or bus it, by all means do. Don’t despise little beginnings ooo.

Btw, PK says in Lagos we don’t have cabs na ‘cabu-cabu’ so stop forming… PK eh…

Fake girls don’t know how to use fork and knife and yet they just insist on disgracing themselves and their generation by staining everybody’s dress there in their clumsy attempt to use a fork and knife.

Ah, lemme tell you a story. True life.

My boo is a perfect gentleman… He uses cutlery for EVERYTHING and it is VERY ANNOYING might I add. 🙂
I on the other hand CAN very well use a cutlery set but I prefer to use only a fork and then when it comes to chicken, abeg I use my hand ooo.

I LOVE CHICKEN so there is no way in God’s green earth that I Eziaha Ajaero will use fork to eat chicken where I can use my hand and nothing will happen… and then waste precious flesh? Mba biko. So once we went out for lunch/dinner and see dude remaining his chicken ooo. A rather healthy chunk since he used a fork and knife to eat it…

Guess who told the waiter to leave his plate while I used my hand, in a very FABULOUS way might I add, to finish his own chicken. I mean, it was paid for and all and the Queen wasn’t around for Dinner so I didn’t need to whip out my Buckingham palace manners which of course I can whip out if need be.

😉

But at that restaurant, I had to be real jor. I am sure he was like ‘which kain girl be ds loooool’

But really, it is important for the man to know who you really are so that he will know what he is getting. Like my mentor Bimbo Odukoya used to say, Pastor Taiwo will always tell her then when they go out ‘…eat oooo. So that I will know how much we will be spending on food.’

Very true.

Don’t create a false impression of what you won’t keep up with in the home.

Pk also told the story of a beach date he had with PM when they were dating and he wanted to ease himself.

 

It was an open stretch and being PK, he told his babe PM then ‘…face that side abeg, I wan piss…’

No need holding it or forming say ‘I am pressed. Can I ease myself? Can I go to the convenience’ Looool.

Truth is, PK is CRAZIER than that sef so it was a good thing for PM to know what she was getting. In marriage, you no fit pretend oo, so build it on reality. Friendship… Too important in marriage. Your partner should be YOUR ABSOLUTE CROSS-YOUR-HEART BEST FRIEND… Nothing should be too big to NOT be told. If there are some things that you can’t share, someone is faking it.

Guys be careful ooo. All this FAKE ladies will put you in trouble because they are HIGH MAINTAINANCE… Also everything on them is FAKE… Hair, nails, lashes, eye lenses, butt (there is butt pad now you know), boobs, teeth, etc. Of course, that is NOT to say that all this is bad. I am guilty of some but sometimes eh, let the guy you are dating see the REAL YOU. So that on your honeymoon night the guy won’t mistake you for room service, after you have removed all the fake things… Loooool. (PK has the most active imagination, trust me)

Guys, sometimes what you see aint what you get ooo.

#NuffSaid 😉

Let him have a feel of who you really are… There is really no ugly woman ooo. Let go of inferiority complex. That thing that is complexing you may very well be what a particular man is looking for… Love on and celebrate yourself. Everytin doesn’t always have to be FAKE.

Let me end Part 2 here…

Check back for Part 3 in two days, that is FRIDAY…

Don’t worry, it is scheduled already so no stories..

hehehe

and please spread word… Let EVERY YOUNG PERSON you know read this, male and female alike…

and drop a comment too alright…

Loves,

E’

Your Girlfriend is NOT your wife… Part 1

Your girlfriend is NOT your wife…

So this message was preached a few years back by my Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo…

papa k

I am not sure where he preached it but does it matter? I doubt… I ma just happy he preached it because it is like one of my most fave messages…

It has a lot of yabis sha but ladies… No vex… I will try and tone it down some but I promise sha, it may still be scathing for some…

You see eh, not every woman is a wife ooo. Guys sadly know how to follow hips but the real qualities they do not look out for and guess who gets burnt?

And the average woman? She is stuck in a world that is NOT real… Hollywood, Mills and Boons, Nollywood, etc. Oh did I mention the magazines and websites that almost move me to tears with how FAKE they are…And ths orry LOVE prescriptions they offer…

eish…

Truth is, if you don’t know the qualities that work, you can learn. Don’t be allergic to knowledge. So read this (which is of course not exhaustive) and share with everyone you know… Ladies and Gentlemen alike…

Ok let’s separate the girlfriends from the wifeys…

Again, message by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo of David’s Christian centre, but I would of course color it with some E’ flava for your reading pleasure…

Eziaha

Proverbs 18; 22… He who finds a wife finds a good thing…

For Pk, it is just incredible how and why single men can not see. Infact, a National prayer meeting just for VISION so that they can see what true virtues are…

Not hips, lips and finger tips…

Sadly, most single men are looking for girlfriends and NOT wives. BLIND AS A BAT yo… It takes training to see… Many are the eyes that look, few are the eyes that see…

Eg, some men are still more interested in the lady being slim than the virtues within. Slim, tall and fair is what most men want even unknowingly. Sometimes, wives don’t come like that… Wives may NOT be too tall, a bit plump, dark sometimes… Some men actually don’t know that when that woman gets pregnant and starts dropping, she may lose the slim oooo… I mean, it is NOT bad in itself to want certain physical qualities but it should be reasonable. What should be uncompromisable should be the inner values and virtues… So if it is only shape you married for, if she loses it, that marriage may be on a downward spiral…

Usually, when couples come in for counseling because of issues in their marriage, PK says one of the first thing he asks them is

‘…Where did you meet?’

Because there are places you meet girlfriends and there are places you meet wives. Eg, Rebekah was found at the well at the time when diligent women come to draw water… Location is important.

Another question he asks is ‘…why did you marry him or her?’

That’s how you trace a faulty foundation. Cos some of the answers are CRAZY mehn… some even say they do NOT even know why… When hips have blinded you… loool.

Some say, someone, an agent linked them up. Looool.

It is usually girlfriends that have agents that are looking for husband for them Not wives. They have self dignity. There are some channels and mediums used to meet men that smell of desperation eg dating sites, radio shows where you drop your number and email addy and credentials looool. Ihe uwa sha

‘Call me if you need a wife…’

Really???

And PK said he has met with MANY men who have hooked up with all these internet girls, slept with them EASILY and dumped them. Chai, ladies be wise na… That is cos the men know that for you to drop your number anywhere online, you are desperate and would give in to their any desires since you dey find husband desperately. A guy even asked PK for prayers against fornication cos he was sleeping with them internet girls on  per second billing.

That is how CHEAP they are.

😦

Nne eh, if you marry on the internet, you will most likely enter a net. Wives are NOT met like that. Even if the world pressures you, resist the temptation to make yourself cheap or unnecessarily available.

Any thing too common diminishes in value (Got this line from my Papa TD Jakes. Love HIM HUGE)

Prov 18;22

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord…

In the kingdom of God, we don’t find babes or girlfriends, we find WIVES. You are first a wife before you are married. If doesn’t jump on you on the altar. The man leaves his mom and dad and cleaves to his WIFE.

Please don’t get me started on the Bomboys… ewwwwwww

Prov 31; 30

Beauty is vain, charm is deceitful. A woman that fears the LORD is what we talking about yo!!! (Loool that is my remix)

Not that it is bad ooo but for beauty and charm to be the major reason you are getting married…??? No Sir…

So if you don’t have the CD ‘7questions wise women’ ask, this is a good time to go and buy it…

Oh wait… I have already blogged about it before…

Oh sorry, that was 7 qualities wise men want… (search my blog)

Go and buy the CD jor. Call 08077714411 or 08028356363 to order jor…

This is a good place to stop… Check back in two days (Tuesday) for Part 2…

I will kick that off by discussing one of the 7 QUESTIONS WISE WOMEN ASK… And then we will proceed proper into separating the girlfriends from wives…

Toodles

E’