#PropheticMotherhood…What Nneka Kyari said.

We have read what DDK said and What Pst Dotun Arifalo said from #PropheticMotherhood

And we end the #PropheticMotherhood with what the very beautiful Nneka Kyari said.

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First, let me give a background of Nneka!!!

She actually lives in Bonny island so even before the program, when I told Aku’m who was coming, he said he knows her and that she’s launching her book in Bonny that weekend or so.

Nneka Kyari authored ‘Breaking through the haze…how I overcame infertility.’

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Two things made me sorta underrate the import of her session personally… and it feels good to know I was NOT alone lol

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First thing, I don’t have that problem but I thought I will just listen on behalf of, and then buy the book for someone. I frankly didn’t think she would touch me like that but I had an open spirit for anything.

Secondly, when you hear someone authored a book like this, I dunno about you but first thing I’m thinking is she must have been believing God for a looooooooooong time, maybe 8 to 15years with plenty stories and a HUGE testimony.

When I heard she waited four years, I’m like ‘…oooooooooooooo k……..‘. Then she dropped a line that just sounded like a bomb in my spirit

But before then, lemme back up a bit so we really catch the gist.

So Nneka is well aware she has an infertility problem.

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Oh btw, she talks about FRUITFULNESS being beyond just children and she had a beautiful Rhema she shared from Genesis 1:28 and because BE FRUITFUL is such a theme in my life, I caught it.

Ok so the devil has brought a battle right to her dormot.

Infertility.

Having battled with it a while, home and abroad, she gets tired and decides to do something about it and so enter

THE POWER OF FOCUS

Not everytime, multi-task. Juggle. Etc. Recall what Priscilla Shirer said about BALANCE here

Nneka knew that split-focus in this matter would not give her the results she so desired. And so as led by God, SHE RESIGNED HER JOB to give this battle the right attention.

TO F O C U S

And this quote she gave right here hit all the right notes in my spirit.

‘…most goals in life do NOT have to take FOREVER. if I didn’t focus and give this battle the RIGHT attention, I may have still been waiting till today…’

Bet you’ve never heard a sermon like that. That Rhema hit home in that room.

That’s like turning something on its head.

‘…No, no, I’m not here to tell you how I waited 15years. I’m here to tell you how I would have waited maybe 15years but I fought and cut my journey to 4years and this is how you can cut yours short too…’

I’m all for Holy Spirit inspired shortcuts with wisdom. No glory in sufferhead. When a battle comes to your dormot, Focus!!! Deal with it. Win. And then move on once and for all.

Oh but Nneka didnt quite understand what God meant when He told her to focus, because now jobless, she filled herself with SOOOOOOOOOO MANY church activities!!!

Enter Christine Caine who by the way is a CHURCH GIRL through and through.

Numerous Christian ACTIVITY does not compensate for an AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP with God…CC

Kyari said ‘…being active in church does not auto equal a stronger relationship with God…’

Head of Sunday school, Committee member of dis n dat, Secretary, women’s miseries ministeries, etc. Then she also started her own business.

Still no focus. Just too much activity. Then God gave herLuke 10:38 Only ONE thing is necessary…

Give attention to your relationship with God. He is looking for INTIMACY and it is in that place of intimacy that she would get the required strategies to battle infertility.

Then she got serious and cut down sooooo many unnecessary activities. There’s only so much one can do per time if one is going to enjoy intimacy with God.

Then God started to download. I love how she shared it systematically with us in such a short time.

Number one: GUARD YOUR HEART. She needed a PURE heart. It is only on the platform of a pure heart that God does the miraculous. Holiness is very key in receiving the password of your life. She used the story of Jesus who even when He was persecuted, He forgave and kept His heart clean and then He could do the IMPOSSIBLE… Rise from the dead.

From a pure heart, you can hear God speak to you.

I ABSOLUTELY UNDERSTAND THIS THING.

You know, I am working on something HUGE and as I prayed and basically sought God concerning directions, I felt Him say I/we should start with a HOLINESS study and I’m like HUH? But clearly, He let me know that He needs us to be HOLY first before He can start to show Himself. Which was where the Post Open Heart Surgery came from. I felt like Nneka read that post lol

Then from that foundation, God began to give her more directions on what to do and LEARN the DISCIPLINE OF DOING which was her NUMBER TWO.

Don’t wish for a result, DO!!! You can’t even pray and confess without DOING.

She had to be disciplined enough to DO

She had to start feeding her body with the RIGHT DIET. She made her meals herself. Plenty veggies and she had to make sure she cooked them well enough to preserve the nutrients.

She started exercising too.

See why you need our services at #SavedFitnFAB ?

Bedtime

**wink**

I mean, she had to be DISCIPLINED ENOUGH, sacrifice a LOT and just DO!!!

Honey, guess who got her results in THREE MONTHS???

Yup, Nneka.

She got pregnant and she gave birth to TWINS!!!

Reminds me of Dr Ada’s testimony, the Ebola survivor. She was disciplined enough to do what she had to do in addition to her faith. Very very disciplined. And she also got her results.

Won’t you rather FOCUS, be disciplined enough to do what God has asked you to do, win the battle and then MOVE ON??? Do you want to stay at the same battle ground fighting the same battle FOREVER? All this split focus can NOT help anybody ooo, especially NOT you. Or me!!! It takes FOCUS to achieve RESULTS. Which is exactly what she said she told a friend who has a ‘special needs’ child.

Very demanding and stressful taking care of the child, especially the diet so she is not consistent and so the problem persists. She had to tell her that wouldn’t she rather focus on this problem, be disciplined enough to do whatever it entails, get the victory and finally move on???

This makes all the sense abeg. This is not even about infertility alone, it is a lesson for LIFE because there is always something to fight for/against.

I loved the wisdom in this which is why I tweeted that she basically liberated me from a battle I would not have to face which is WASTING TIME ON BATTLES we can easily focus on and win. I’m like pumped to take on battles with the FOCUS it deserves so that we can get it under our belt and MOVE DA HECK ON!!!

I was so super blessed by Nneka. Such a communicator. She shared her story in details so that we KNOW what to do, as God leads you ooo not to ape her. Because really, God will not call every woman to resign her job but there is a required FOCUS and DISCIPLINE required for your won battle.

FIND IT

And because she began on the foundation of fruitfulness, she gave us some other tips to being fruitful.

  1. Listen to the Holy Spirit. Especially as a woman, You need to be sure, ON POINT with what God wants you to do and there is NO LIMIT to His knowledge so stay connected. And how? Via the WORD, Prayers, and other spiritual disciplines. That way, I can bortha CUSTOMISED password for my challenges. That means you can NOT be too busy. The lifestyle of an average Christian is TOO BUSY!!! You MUST make TIME to study. You can NOT be accidental and casual. You MUST be INTENTIONAL. Block out that time for God alone and INTROSPECT. That’s the only way to cut down your waiting time and errors.
  2. PLAN to be FRUITFUL: Plan your activities. Plan your day. Plan for your results. Have a schedule/routine. Count the cost, etc
  3. Measure FRUITFULNESS and NOT BUSYNESS. If GOD says STOP and LISTEN, I MUST OBEY. Let the Holy Spirit teach you to strike a good balance. She says when she has to put a stop for some time on one or two things to FOCUS on her home front, she does it without apologies. THE BEST thing I can give to my kids is ATTENTION until they come into the BEST God has for them. You can NOT and should NOT be too b usy for your kids. We have to put a stop to the MADNESS in our generation and it starts from the HOME.
  4. Where there is an issue or challenge to deal with, JUST DO IT!!! Do NOT pretend that all is fine. Don’t masquerade with activities. People see only your outside but what is really going on on your insides. DEAL WITH IT.

Phew!!!

Goodness!!! Don’t you just feel FRUITFUL reading all she had to say. The Book title doesn’t do it enough justice abeg. The matter is about infertility and then sooooo much more.

Let me just repeat this point which I thought was the BIGGEST!!!

‘…Most goals in life do NOT have to take FOREVER. If I didn’t focus and give this battle the RIGHT attention, I may have still been waiting till today…’

Nneka is ONE DEEEEEEEEEEP WOMAN. Plus she’s beautiful too. She is 10 YEARS in marriage this year and her twins are 5. A boy and a girl. Who knows maybe she would have still been waiting today if she didn’t strap herself in and FIGHT!!!

What battles have arrived at your dormot today? Do you want to stay fighting it FOR EVER? Me I certainly do NOT!!!

So, go sit before the LORD and download what He wants you to DO, then FOCUS on it, cut out unnecessary activities and be DISCIPLINED ENOUGH TO DO because RESULTS DO NOT COME BY ACCIDENT!!!

And that’s how we have come to the end of this beautiful series on Prophetic Motherhood.

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I have enjoyed writing it AND reading it too. I purposely did NOT listen to the CD again to write. I just transcribed from what I wrote down and then what my Spirit highlighted. If I listened to the CD, this would have gone on FOREVER lol because every point resonated. I wanted to FORGET some things on purpose LOL. Ehen, now I can go listen to the CD again and again and again. It is actually over 3hours long because practically the ENTIRE program- WORD, PRAYERS, CHARGE, ETC was recorded. Gosh I LOVE DEBORAH INITIATIVE FOR WOMEN!!! (DIW). That atmosphere of prayer, fellowship, and word was REAL!!!

Now, a LOT of people really want me to share the prayer points and scriptures used to pray there. I actually was going to do that until God told me to do ONE BETTER… let’s do our very own 30DAY DEVOTIONAL for the FAB WARRIOR MOMS.

Like, can you absolutely BELIEVE that????

I AM SO EXCITED!!!

I was actually going to do it for myself taking from the ones shared at WARRIOR IN HEELS (Mehn, there was this one on ‘My kids are ESTABLISHED in RIGHTEOUSNESS Pastor M led that gets me leaping every time), Prophetic Motherhood and then my Personal study , because I wanted some STRUCTURE AND STRATEGY to my prayer as a PROPHETIC WARRIOR MOM but I don’t mind sharing with yawl.

Don’t thank me, thank Christine Caine. Lol.

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And about this hug, let’s give the short version. DDK hugged me what I thought was a FINALLY WE MEET hug and then starts praying. Let’s just make it even shorter by saying that despite all my ‘inner resistance’ Aunty’s anointing gets me to the floor.

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You would think Aunty would let me be ooo but after I get up, she continues the hug and prayers.

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Receiving quotient Hahaha

Some things are taught. Some things are CAUGHT!!! I KNOW that I caught something. I got home and all the crazy ideas started dropping in my spirit and I kicked off immediately… Neighborhood Stay at home moms prayer meetings, the devotional, and just plenty FIRE!!!

The last couple of days (after the meeting) have been a FIGHT. Don’t let me go into details haha. I just keep remembering Debola’s line of

‘…the thing that is confronting you is serious business. You may NOT be paying attention to it BUT it is paying attention to you…’

But the devil stays losing. NO TIME!!! I don’t even believe I did these posts back to back.

Please don’t come back tomorrow though for the devotional. I am already working on it and will present it in a format where you can download and share. Yaaaaay!!!

Let’s get this work done people. Let’s checkmate the devil.

Just RUN after everything God has called you to do.

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Don’t even waste time. Don’t second guess. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it. Just RUN!!! You have a part to play in this divine relay so STOP SLACKING or UNDERESTIMATING YOUR PART. I am so thankful mama pushed me to get out of my comfort zone and start #SavedFitnFAB. Just stepping out to do that has unleashed someone else.

Like Debola said, there is a line of EQUAL FREQUENCY in the Spirit connecting us to those with whom we MUST do destiny with.

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May you find your Prophets, guys. May you find your Elizabeths.

And may you be a PROPHETIC ‘MOTHER’ indeed!!!

Amen!!!

 

Love

E’

 

PS

How are we warming up for Love Life?

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The Biggest Chick Party of the year

Release your faith Chick if you feel GOD is leading you to

 

PPS

So I did this marriage interview here. I actually sound mature here looooool

http://www.lifegodandlove.com/marriage-interview-2-with-eziaha-marriage-is-dying/

Enjoy

 

 

 

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#PropheticMotherhood… What Pst Dotun Arifalo said

 



There’s a Part 1 here
#PropheticMotherhood… What DDK said
This series builds up so start from there aii?
Pastor Dotun Arifalo is the ‘Father’ over the ministry, Deborah Initiative for Women. She basically got me born again all over AGAIN!!!

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I didn’t believe all that was coming out of that woman!!!
Gosh!!!
Let’s just jump in…
Every woman is a PROPHET!!! The prophetic anointing is on me as a woman so it means there is limitless power in my WORDS!!!

Hello all the women/mamas jumping from prophet to prophet to ‘see’ for them. You are a PROPHET hun!!! Beyond speaking LIFE into my children, I can speak life into my husband, into his dreams, into my ideas, into my business, etc. I use my words to create/birth what I sense in my heart and because my words are anointed, I have to be very careful what I speak. I can speak life or I can speak death. I can be a wife or a knife!!!

Being a woman is an OFFICE!!! It is an ORDINATION!!! I can stand in that office and declare things and heaven MUST answer.
I can give life to things beyond children and the entire power lies in my words.
As a woman, I am both a King maker (as I take those seeds in me and make kings of them) and a KING and kings declare so I have to make sure I ain’t using my mouth to talk nonsense or nag.
My words are very powerful.
She also took some time to speak to the Singles.
The greatest gift you can give yourself is the gift of the right man
Don’t go and hook up with someone who will make you start speaking nonsense words ooo.



As a prophetic mother, MOMMY MINISTRY is NOT your ONLY ministry. So as I raise my kids, I should NOT pack up my life permanently.

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And permit me to unpack this a bit with the Proverbs 31 woman as God explained it to me one morning.

She really was a SUPER WOMAN and as I follow God's will for me, I too can be SUPER

She really was a SUPER WOMAN and as I follow God’s will for me, I too can be SUPER

I was having this convo with God some 3weeks back about Full time stay-at-home mama’s. I actually believe I have an assignment for women in that category and my inbox confirms it (yawl keep writing me). I felt He was telling me that being a FT stay-at-home mom AND NOTHING ELSE is not exactly ALL that He wants for His women and so He got me to draw a line in my journal and open Proverbs 31 in various versions.
On one side, I filled in her jobs in the home and the other side, her jobs outside the home.
I then realised that indeed, that Chick excelled BOTH as a homemaker/domestic queen and a Career woman.
That day, I was CONVINCED that really ehn, your life MUST count for more than just you, your husband and your kids. Yes there are times when you may wanna FOCUS on your home (and i’ll dwell a bit on that with the 3rd speaker Nneka Kyari) but honey, as a woman, you have been called to MUCH MORE!!!

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As a woman, you can NOT afford to be weak!!! You birth what you are. It is in your genes, strength or weakness. A weak woman will birth weak children. A strong woman will birth strong children. Raising a child is like raising an ARMY!!! You have to be STRONG!!!
Ok, you need to go back and read that again!!!
Good Lord!!!

Woman, YOU BIRTH WHO YOU ARE!!!
There is a difference between a child growing up and a child being raised!!! Some children just grow up, some are RAISED!!! We need to be intentional and consciously RAISE our kids. You are a custodian of destiny. You can’t do it casually.

Aunty, it is advisable to wait some time after marriage to born ehn.

PLAN for ’em kids. Get enough emotional support. Be READY!!! You don’t have to jump from wife to mother immediately. Build your relationship with your husband first. Groom yourself for the journey. Build capacity before you bring forth. It is a HUGE job.
Remember, who you are is who you birth ooo.
Again, don’t pack up your life permanently to raise your kids. Beyond being known as Bolaji Olojo’s wife or ‘mama KingDaveed’ (and side eye to yawl who call me that), I need to be a mama of many other things beyond children ooo. There are ministries, business ideas, etc waiting to be birthed through me!!!
Today’s women WORK beyond housework ooo.
Dear woman, Get Help.

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Leverage on every opportunity you get/God has given. FOCUS on doing what only you can do and outsource what others can do for you. Cooking and cleaning and being spent from these activities such that you don’t even spend quality time pouring into your kids can’t help anybody ooo. You will just be frustrated and resentful and tired meanwhile the real job has not been done. And might I add that spending time on Telemundo and co because you have Help can NOT help anybody too. Raise up and call forth the LEADER in your kids.
Tz beyond cooking and cleaning.
And tz definitely beyond Telemundo and Zee world.
Quick question: if you do NOT cook personally, will the world come down? NO!!!
But will the world come down if you do NOT RAISE your kids? Pretty much YES!!! Your own world will come down.
Your kids ought to see you both as mom AND mentor/role model. Teach your kids to approach the world with a problem solving mentality.
Take your kids with you on spiritual journies. Let them see you pray, study the Word, and live for Jesus!!!

Eeeeeek Farida's comment on What DDK said is exactly what I could write

Eeeeeek
Farida’s comment on What DDK said is exactly what I could write

Let them learn how to pray from watching and hearing you. Not everytime Telemundo and Africa Magic or TRACE!!!

Stop joking dear woman!!! The devil you are not paying attention to is paying MAJOR attention to you.

(that’s from DDK anyways I dunno why I added it here but, HERE, you can have it)
Brainwash your kids with the Word from a young age.
Teach them values, life skills, marriage, relationships, etc.
Train them to discern so they don’t marry wrong. Let your marriage be THE blueprint for them. The stuff I put into my kids is the stuff they produce. Use the creative power of my words to frame it all together.
Keep laying hands on them.
Keep prophesying.
You, my darling are a Prophet!!!

Oh this next point chilled me, and then pumped me.

She said the reason some of us are not running to our parents a lot is that they are not mentor figures to us. We just grew up. We were not RAISED!!!
There’s nothing really to learn from them. (and that’s not a reason to not visit ooo). You mama, have to live your life in such a way that generations after you can NOT forget you. You know how the Bible says ‘…one generation shall tell the next of YOUR faithfulness…’ ehen. Let one generation tell the next generation that there was an Eziaha who no one can stop talking about.

Your impact down generations should neither be denied or erased.
You are a trailblazer, woman!!!
Be a TRAILBLAZER!!!

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Let your kids arise and call you BLESSED!!! Please give your ALL in raising your kids, and that involves birthing the other dreams God has given you. Do it for your generation. Any battle you do not win, you will transfer. Let some nonsense STOP in your lineage because of you and your prayers.

Amen!!!

Until you begin to do that, you are ORDINARY!!!

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Lemme just round up this post with this
Mama, you are LIMITLESS!!!
See ehn, raising kids is awesome. I actually believe it is my primary responsibility. Primary, but NOT only!!! You don’t wanna conquer ‘out there’ and fail as a mom.

You also don’t wanna be a WIFE and MOM and NOTHING else!!!

Lisa Bevere and Christine, on the platform of ‘Propel Women’ talk about the ‘Emerging woman’ a lot. God wants an emerging of a woman whose life is INTEGRATED. Whole!!! It is NOT an either-or, it is a BOTH thing. A woman who wants her life to count for something beyond her!!!

Something for the benefit of mankind!!! These women understand SEASONS in life.

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I talked about my seasons here too. I had my FT stay-at-home mama season and frankly, what God did for me then was building capacity!!! What I thought was a low-output season was a ‘root deepening’ season. And maybe a season of REST too like my bestie Valerie told me on Sunday when I told her I was tired and all. As a woman, you need to be UNSTUCK, be able to maximise each season and then MOVE gracefully from one season to the next as God leads you.

Unstuck!!! Easily my fave PropelWomen quote

Unstuck!!! Easily my fave PropelWomen quote

If all you are doing now screams ‘low productivity’, I promise you, with the help of the Holy Spirit, you can make that season work for you and prepare you for the next season. But if you let your life be encumbered with Africa Magic and Telemundo, you can NOT hear God.
See this Propel woman, Alli Worthington, she’s easily my favourite on the Panel.

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Years and years and years (over 10years) as a FT mom, raising 5 boys (she said her and her husband were just ‘enjoying themselves’ and wham!!! 5boys!!!) but today, she’s Exec Director at PropelWomen, Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur etc and she did NOT stop being a wife and mom as she took on these other responsibilities BUT instead being a stay-at-home MOM enriched her life in such a way that as that season morphed into another, she took lessons from there and is doing a MOST brilliant job in this season and inspiring loads of women around the world including ME!!!

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Like DDK said, children are a gift from God. They should ENHANCE and NOT hinder the call of God on your life!!!

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And still on DDK, let me quote something she said at Warrior in Heels…
There is something about a woman who takes EVERY season of her life as a GOD-ORDAINED season!!!
#Selah

One of you who came for Warrior in heels should transcribe na. Epp us. Haha. I’m still amazed by DDK. I’m reading one of her books THE SCRIPT and what it is doing to me is beyond Words.
Please don’t despise any season. God can work with anything if we give it to HIM!!! Like Alli said, take care of what’s in front of you right now faithfully. God has a plan!!! Follow it and not the world’s. He will take you into your next season soon enough.
Honey, you can do MORE than birthing kids. You can BIRTH much more!!!
And this is a good place to end ‘…what Pastor Dotun said…’
And the final speaker was Nneka Kyari!!!

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Soft spoken and yet deeeeeeepppp!!! A woman who took a season of her life by the lapels, fought the battle against infertility, won it, and morphed into another season and is liberating lots of other women!!!

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Eeeeeeeek!!! Nneka was my fave because she taught me something I will NEVER forget.
That post is READY too!!! Come back tomorrow!!!
Plus I have a BIG announcement at the end of Part 3.
Think… download, use for 30days, repeat, share… I can’t wait to birth that!!! Anybody wanna guess???
I’m excited!!!

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I’m running after everything God has called me to. Not holding back!!! And carrying as much people as I can with me.

#NoTime

See you soooooooooooon!!!
Love,
E’

Purpose, Seasons and a GIANTSLAYER TURNS ONE!!!

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It was Wednesday, September 16, 2015 when I started noticing a tiny, almost negligible growth right on his lower inner left eye. Slowly but surely, it continued to grow till it was SO OBVIOUS.

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crazy I don’t have a picture but this was how it was

People would always ask ‘what happened to his eye?’ and everytime I would say NOTHING!!! Finally, I decided to take him to the hospital and their diagnosis just annoyed me. There were too many big names thrown around and we were passed from doc to doc until we ended with TWO consultants and err, surgery would be the solution right after they had done tests on the growth to determine what kinda growth it was, and then we were finally referred to LUTH.

Wooooooh, I just carried my baby and went home. Tests ko, LUTH ni. That was when I decided that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! Nobody is knocking my baby out with any general anaesthetic and putting him under the knife to take out this stupid growth that kept increasing. I decided it was time to WAR. EVERY DAY, MORNING AND NIGHT, I would anoint that growth and speak to it, cursing it and commanding it to shrink and die from its roots and NEVER to come back. I also laid the referral letter before God and declared that I would NEVER have to use it. I speak over it everytime and for a long time, I did not notice ANYTHING. NO REDUCTION, nothing!!! Because I was always checking it everytime and I noticed it was even increasing. I decided to STOP looking at it aside that anointing. A long time passed and then one day, I noticed it was going down. I didn’t stop my confessions and anointing for about five months and then one day, almost like magic, I noticed that the growth was COMPLETELY GONE!!! (You see why i say you should stay consistent in fighting?) Azzin, COMPLETELY. As I rejoiced, God told me

‘…don’t you know you have a GIANT SLAYER on your hands…I mean, we are talking GIANTS here so what’s a STUPID growth?…’

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You see guys, mothering KingDaveed has brought me joy unspeakable but what I really wanna highlight is how God used this GIANT SLAYER to just propel me into PURPOSE!!!

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I realised i was pregnant at the same time I started my job with the UN. I stopped work and had to relocate from Abuja for reasons connected to his birth. My goodness, I was one heck of a DEPRESSED and FRUSTRATED mama. Yes I LOVED being a mom but my goodness, I HATED the fact that I was giving up a career of my dreams and all my friends were just moving forward and here I was stuck with diapers and breast pumps. Look guys, it was HARD. I cried a whole lot. I look back today and I am soooooo thankful I had KingDaveed just came into my life and reroute me from living a life that was anything BUT His PERFECT WILL. Gosh, I am sooooo thankful that I do not even KNOW what to do!!! All those days I spent being NOTHING but a mom have been days that have defined my very life today.

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All the things God taught and told me about my future, I WOULD NEVER KNOW IF I STILL HAD MY 8to5pm. I recall when I looked forward to going back to work and EVERYTIME it just felt like all I was seeing was God’s BACK!!! No peace, No word, nothing!!! The day I threw my will and desires out of the window, my Jesus began to speak. I began to thank God for my portion. I began to embrace the season I was in.

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I began to truly enjoy being a mom, stress, meltdowns and all. I stopped all my silly comparisons with my friends in a career because I understood that what God had called them to was their business and not mine and if I chuck my nose in my purpose. I would realise I do not even have time to compare. I didn’t let any pressure from my people get to me, and there was a LOT!!!

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But as KingDaveed was approaching his first birthday, I felt like God was trying to tell me something. It was fuzzy but I just knew He was set to just say something. As I prayed concerning the photoshoot I wanted to do, God told me to capture my everyday life with KingDaveed in the pictures. I was so excited about the idea and I recall sharing with my bestie Booski and she just couldn’t wait for the pictures.

That frame was a gift from Booski. LOVEEET

That frame was a gift from Booski. LOVEEET

You need to understand that for the better part of KingDaveed’s first year, it had just been BOTH OF US. We had wayyyyyy too much memories together and God wanted me to make the shoot about it.

Yup, he went EVERYWHERE with me

Yup, he went EVERYWHERE with me

And right in the middle of the shoot, God told me

Eziaha, it is time for you to move to the NEXT SEASON OF YOUR LIFE…

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If I tell you I didn’t understand what God meant, I lie!!! But even then, what I knew was little and so over the next couple of weeks, God started to REALLY explain SEASONS to me, how what I thought was merely a ‘low output season’ for me was actually a HUGE part of His PERFECT PLAN. That time when my whole life was consumed with this little human here, He was in it.

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Can I just take a moment to really appreciate two of my besties who would LISTEN to me as I exhausted their credit time after time just running them through what God has told me and gosh these girls would listen, make sense of it all for me, tell me how much I was ABLE to do ALL that He had told me to do. Valerie and Dumebi, you girls are ROCKSTARS!!! And I do mean ROCKS and STARS. I can’t even begin to deserve you girls. Nah!!!

And just to make sure I had the time to pursue all that He called me to do, He sent me a homehelp literally from heaven.

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My lil chef

(Almost) All my routines with KingDaveed, she took over. I can wake up and just go sit before God downloading for the first 6hours of my day knowing that she got KingDaveed covered.

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My prayer and prayer room partner

I can pull allnighters studying and fleshing up the business ideas God has given because I didn’t have an exhausting day. I could actually reach more ladies as God brought them to me because I didn’t have to be consumed with KingDaveed. Now, don’t get me wrong, I still spend an awful lot of time with KingDaveed

somedays, we just don't wanna smile

somedays, we just don’t wanna smile

but God had to teach me that it was OK to leave him with her and work for my new season because He was watching over him/them. Diaper changing, bathing, washing, feeding (aside breastfeeding which I intend to carry on till he is at least 1yr and half, just incase you are wondering), rocking to sleep, etc, Nkechi handles it all and that’s because God has moved me from that season. I occasionally slide in and do some of these but it is now Nkechi’s to handle.

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Sometimes I wonder the direction my life would have taken if I didn’t conceive at the time I did. Would my roots have gone as deep as they are now? Would I have started my own businesses? Would I have been hearing God as I do now? Would I be working on the things I am working on now? Would I still be stuck in a season that was less than His PERFECT WILL? Would I be frustrated or nah?

Look, I am so thankful for KingDaveed for all the above and more.

My church buddy

My church buddy

KingDaveed also made me LEARN FIRSTHAND what it meant to have compassion for people with kids. Look, I am ashamed to say that I was that chick who if I was in a bus, especially when I was in school, going from Lag to Ibadan for example, I would AVOID any row that had any baby or child. I just didn’t care for children, especially if they DARED to not be still. And then there were days I would have to take a bus with KingDaveed because I really couldn’t afford to take a cab and it would HIT me!!! Imagine someone doing that to KingDaveed???

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African mama

 

I went with KingDaveed to the market everytime when I was alone and I recalled how I wasn’t exactly nice to women who were backing their kids and carrying two or three market bags. I walked in those shoes and I LEARNED compassion. Now, I am constantly looking out for that woman who I can help in what little way or the other. I have become that chick who would quickly strike off something from my shopping list so I could be a blessing financially to some mama who REALLY needs it. I literally enter the market looking for ONE mom to help in whatever way I can. It made me soooooo thankful for what I had especially when I start to even remotely complain, because my eyes were opened to women who could BARELY even feed their kids. I mean, God used KingDaveed to give me a real perspective check.

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Back to the giant slaying story. When God told me that, it stirred something in me. It stirred a GIANT in me too. I knew I couldn’t afford to stay slacking as I mother this boy. My A-game has to be on fleek, spiritually.

You best believe this boy will LOVE JESUS like crazy!!!

You best believe this boy will LOVE JESUS like crazy!!!

I had to grow. QUICKLY!!! As the last born myself, God had to teach me to make my decisions concerning MY SON as HE LED ME and not let ANYONE ELSE’s opinion affect me, NO MATTER WHO. It meant I had to really download from heaven concerning XYZ before my mom’s opinion came in and I had to learn how to put my feet down on my decisions.

TheBIBLE had to be my GUIDE

TheBIBLE had to be my GUIDE

Azzin, I say my NO and MEAN IT!!! Being a mom to this GIANT SLAYER just matured me quickly. I had a destiny in my hand, literally and I am determined to raise him truly in the way of God and not according to the world. I have to keep firing prayers into his NOW and his FUTURE. I couldn’t afford to slack.

BIO goals haha

BIO goals haha

I feel like a truly different Eziaha. The old Eziaha went the moment I became a mom. God had to use Him to re-route my life and place me on the right track. I feel like an EZIAHA on PURPOSE!!!

Purpose, right in the middle of the 'ordinary' like cooking

Purpose, right in the middle of the ‘ordinary’ like cooking

Just bang in the middle of all that God has called me to do and be. I truly feel like I can take down the GIANTS that await in this new season of my life. I truly wanna lead a Proverbs 31 life. I feel really privileged to mother this GIANT SLAYER and by God, I would not trade any of my seasons, past, present and future, for ANYTHING!!!

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Gosh, I am SOOOOOOO EXCITED!!! I cannot wait to look back at these pictures next year as KingDaveed turns TWO and see just how far God has brought me from this season now and maybe, just maybe He may be ready to take me to the next season of my life. I know God, He moves on fastforward especially with me and so I have to RUN, literally AFTER what God has called me to do.

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No time baby, no time!!!

And hey, I just wanna say a HUGE thank you to Olaedo. Without doubt, she has been the BIGGEST MOMMY INFLUENCE in my life. She has taught me sooooooo many things both by words and by actions. And to think I met her off my blog. I am just thankful she obeyed the prompt to send me an email. She has held my hand through my pregnant days to when KingDaveed was born and afterwards. She has taken me in and just poured into me. I haven’t seen anyone mother like Ola. Her kids are just BEAUTIFUL and no I don’t mean only physically.

Ola has ALL our pictures and doesn't wanna send to me...

Ola has ALL our pictures and doesn’t wanna send to me…

I am just excited at all that they will grow to be because Ola is a SUPER SOUND GODLY mama. Ola, you are an absolute treasure!!! I love you with all of my heart. Thank you soooooooooo much darling. Thank you.

And this will all make sense later but I am grateful first to mama for bringing DDK for Warrior In Heels.

DDK!!!

DDK!!!

Two different people had told me about DDK and how we have A LOT in common and so I go look for her on Twitter and her bio interested me. Anyways, I didn’t know what to expect but as DDK opened her mouth to give the WORD, I knew EXACTLY why my spirit had been soooooo excited about her and the program. She’s my new best friend now (she doesn’t know yet but soooooooon) and I am amazed as to how often I now say ‘…like DDK said…’ haha.

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Just like Dee… lol

DDK is sooooooo vital for this season I am in now and mehn… DDK answered almost EVERY question I had, it was surreal. I have truly never had a moment of listening to someone where I am at the edge of my seat, leaning in as far as possible and cupping my palm in my chin. img_20160408_040736.jpg

I have NEVER had that posture listening to anyone. It was like DDK was talking to ME!!! The connection I felt with DDK was CRAZY!!! She talked about Seasons, Apostles in the marketplace, commonizing the ‘ordinary’. She talked about some of the stuff I had blogged about in recent times but still, they HIT me.  In fact let me not talk too much. But if you ever have an opportunity to hear DDK minister, RUN THERE!!!

Lemme end with a funny story. About KingDaveed. There was this one time we came in from church and I told my help to snap me just before we entered my home but KingDaveed kept making her shake so I took him in and closed the door. Soon I stopped hearing his movement behind the door but I didn’t bother. After our snapping, we came in and guess what Bro KingDaveed was doing? He had gone to my fridge, which he had recently learnt to open, brought out my tomatoes which were in the lower compartment of the door, and pressed all of them.

My fridge scatterer

My fridge scatterer

Hahaha. It was soooooo funny. Ah children. Silence is very very suspicious.

And this is me side-eyeing that chick who recently gave KingDaveed some money and on the envelop wrote ‘Bro KingDaveed’ I couldn’t believe it. I laughed sooooo hard. Haha. Crazy you!!!

Motherhood is an amazing amazing gift straight from heaven.

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My bestie just popped out baby number 2

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and I told her that she better name him Jonathan because frankly, I think she may have just birthed my baby’s covenant ‘Jonathan’.

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I can NOT wait for more and more babies from my friends especially those with whom I am in faith. Just get ready to have your life changed FOREVER if You let Him be GOD even in your parenting.

My workout interferer lol

My workout interferer lol

This post took a different turn than I thought it would. But I am happy it did. Looking forward to re-reading it when KingDaveed turns two and being just FLAT OUT AMAZED by GOD!!! AMEN…

Love,

Warrior!!!

Warrior!!!

E’

 

PS

Loved meeting everyone from my blog at Warrior in Heels.

Dee and Glow

Dee and Glow

I was amazed at how many of you came.

Eujay came with her bump!!! WOW!!!

Eujay came with her bump!!! WOW!!!

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Finally met Ezi. She came from Anambra

Finally met Ezi. She came from Anambra

Cant wait for all the exploits God will do through us all. amen!!!

PPS

I tweet a lot these days. Follow me there @eziahaA so we can stay connected. At least that way you know i am still alive even when i do not blog. lol. And Facebook too. Eziaha Ajaero. Email eziaha@eziaha.com and IG eziaha

PPPS

Someborry tell my hubby to learn this our pose quickly ooooo

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Then I love this picture too. Just look at that transformation

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Authentically Me & Surprisingly Satisfied!!!

There was a certain afternoon a LOT of things began to change in my life. August 31.

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I had just finished shutting the door behind the woman who came to do my hair and right at that gate, God spoke to me in a way I could NEVER have missed…

You see, all the while she was doing my hair, I had already started my detox so TV was off and I was watching some videos on YouTube from my fave preachers…

So as I turned from the gate, God said to me SOOOO CLEARLY

Eziaha, YOU are EXACTLY WHERE I WANT YOU TO BE…THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING…

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And He went ahead to download the THISes, that is next few steps of my life to me…

I lost NO TIME

Phew, journal out and I started writing because I knew if I didn’t write at that point, I would forget it.

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I wrote and wrote and wrote as He spoke to my spirit and when I was done, I said a prayer and I WAS LED to call a friend later on and we spoke for a long time as I downloaded some of what I had heard to her (I also needed to hear myself say those things haha)

Note, I said I was LED to ring her and her reaction was proof enough that I WAS LED… I didn’t just jump to the phone and phone a friend.

Let me tell you, when God speaks, IT COMES WITH INCOMPREHENSIBLE P E A C E!!!

Will all the storms go away? Nope. But you, like JESUS, can be asleep on a pillow while the storm rages and then when you wake, you still the storm because you have a WORD!!!

Brace yourself guys, THIS IS GOING TO BE ONE LOOOOOOONNNNGGGG post…

Haha

I see yawl snicker, roll your eyes and be like

‘ E’ your posts are always long so puh-leeeeezeeee…’

Ok ooo. don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

Now before then, I used to be sooooooo unhappy lol. Not physically as much as mentally and spiritually. I wrote about it at the end of this Post.

You see, being a mom had CHANGED MY LIFE in many ways and for the most part, I ALWAYS FELT IT WAS HINDERING ME SOMEHOW…

Please read again, FELT… Past tense!!!

Hindering WHAT??!!??

Hindering WHAT??!!??

I just couldn’t WAIT to kick my career off again. I had BIG dreams and I was going to take over the world.

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But my current days were full of diapers, breast pumps, bottles, onesies and frustrations…

Loooool.

Trust me looking back now, I am actually laughing.

Then, when my friends would share stuff with me or just publicly on SM via pictures or posts about work, career and all, I would feel bad that MEHN, see this girl/guy moving on ooo and see me just here… Kai aye mi

Heck, I even used to BEEF my hubs for having a career going on while me I just stayed home all day long.

I couldn’t WAIT for this SEASON TO BE OVER and along with that came mega frustrations!!!

Now let’s go back to what God told me

Eziaha, YOU are EXACTLY WHERE I WANT YOU TO BE…THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING…

Eiiiissssshhhh!!!

It SLAPPED the CRAP outta me.

Jer 1:5

Before I formed you in the womb, I KNEW and APPROVED of you (as my chosen instrument) and BEFORE you were born, I HAD PLANS FOR YOU

Psalms 119:73,74

You made me, You created me. Now give me THE SENSE to FOLLOW Your commands.

As He shared with me what I was to be doing with my time NOW, I knew I needed to BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT in MY OWN RACE and stop being an observer in other people’s race.

Oh how complicated we make life when we start to compare and contrast with somebody else’s life and forget to FOCUS on making the BEST of this BEAUTIFUL life that we have been so graciously given.

How we let the PRESSURE of societal or family expectations get to us and we forget to go before or ignore the ONE who has the ORIGINAL blueprints of our lives.

A nursing mama Doctor friend of mine shared with me how EVERYONE keeps asking her how far with work and when she is going back and the pressure is just on from all over and she wanted to know how I coped with that.

I just shared my own experience with her on how I came to where I was atm, a place of PEACE!!!

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Recently, my Pastor, Kingsley Okonkwo, preached a message on HIS PERFECT WILL and it just made me further RESOLVED to find HIS PERFECT WILL for my life and follow it FULLY irrespective of all the stuff that’s ongoing in my neighbor’s life. I just wanna live free from all the pressure life brings and of the approval of men/society with their EVER CHANGING STANDARDS and attendant EXHAUSTION!!!

I want to be AUTHENTICALLY ME & SURPRISINGLY SATISFIED!!!

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Both lines are titles of two chapters in Priscilla Shirer’s amazing bestseller RESOLUTION FOR WOMEN which accompanies the AMAZING blockbuster movie COURAGEOUS from the stables of the Kendrick Brothers. (What a mouthful lol)

I am yet to read the Book but I watched her talk about each of the resolutions with Moira Brown

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on 100Huntley abi 700Club after I had my God-encounter and it helped me crystallize some of my thoughts into words, so I would feature some lines from the book and share both Resolution Quotes at the end.

I love how it is called SURPRISINGLY SATISFIED

When, it don’t matter the kinda pressure anyone tries to heap on you, you calmly defuse it with a smile that both surprises them and shuts them up.

Because frankly, once you meet a woman who is CONTENT in and with herself, it is usually not just refreshing but SURPRISING. You just wanna be friends with her. You wanna KNOW what she KNOWS.

Someone who understands that her path is uniquely hers, different from her best friend’s or colleagues and has no qualms celebrating others on their own journey EVEN IF THEY HAVE seemingly GONE AHEAD OF YOU for now.

Yes Sweetie , you will surely meet those who are ahead of you on the path you know God has called you to and should I tell you what to do besides sipping on a tall glass of beeferade and haterade?

You go ahead and CELEBRATE HER!!!

OH HOW I CELEBRATE THIS WOMAN!!!

OH HOW I CELEBRATE THIS WOMAN!!!

Yup, I said that. Celebrate her!!! Compliment her!!! Be an AFFIRMER. And sincerely from your heart.

Tell her you are proud of her and you can’t wait to join her on that level too. If it is a possibility, please ask her to show you the ropes.

Btw, why do we even compare foolishly? Do we even KNOW what God told them?

Guys listen, I CELEBRATE YOU should be a REGULAR feature in your spoken and written convos.

I LOVE how COZA uses this line

I LOVE how COZA uses this line

You don’t have time for beef ooo. Can we have WHOLE FRIENDSHIPS that we can TRULY enjoy?

Look, aside NOT comparing and beefing, we also need to FIND JOY IN OUR OWN JOURNEY.

Yes fully enjoy the season that you are in – single, married, with no kids, with small kids, jobless, underemployed, overworked,etc ON YOUR WAY TO THE NEXT SEASON!!!

It don’t mean you are complacent or laid back but you understand the AUTHENTICITY and UNIQUENESS of your own journey, as scripted by God and you are taking your own, maybe baby steps, but steps all the same.

Lemme tell yawl, PRESSURE COMES FROM NOT KNOWING WHAT GOD HAS SAID ABOUT YOU!!!

Then with the pressure comes frustrations and unnecessary drama, beef and so on because you wont stop playing the game of fools – COMPARISON!

You know what, I totally celebrate my NOW…

My days of being a FT mommy to this amazing, extremely energetic bubba whose smile makes me deliriously and unimaginably happy.

Booboo

Booboo

I enjoy BLOGGING and being a MENTOR to so many young girls who God has graciously entrusted to me.

I enjoy being this Home maker whose timings are sooooo off tz ridiculous but hey…

Hahaha

Oh goodness, I have learned to find joy in this journey because I know what God has called me to do RIGHT HERE AND NOW!!!

I have much more PEACE than before because I am on my own path and in HIS PERFECT WILL!!!

Does it mean that everything is perfect? Does that mean that I am all of a sudden complacent?

Of course not.

Things will NOT ever be perfect because once you settle one, you will promptly have another ish to deal with, but you should have an overaching banner of contentment over your life that defines you as a person. This means that inspite of all the imperfections and hurdles and even occasional ‘off days’, I can go back to this WORD, draw my strength and keep it moving.

Infact, I am sooooo SATISFIED that I can WHOLEHEARTEDLY compliment another sister who is probably on the path of what God has called her to do, different than but not superior to mine.

Lemme illustrate

I was chatting with a friend of mine on WA two weeks back and she said she was UAE-bound for a training.

Such things used to just make me sad thinking

‘…Chai, if I was still working I would have been going to New York and Geneva too ooo…’

But frankly, I just hailed her that she was ballin’ ooo and teased her that I want her job and she teased me back that she wants KingDaveed.

After that convo, I just had a sweet convo with the Holy Spirit who just reminded me how far I had come from being a tensioned comparison-prone woman to this BRAND NEW WOMAN and I just smiled.

Guys, it pays to know what God told you. I dunno how else to say it.

One of my mentees, Dee, did this lovely post on ‘To hustle or nah’ and it just reminded me of how everyone expects that after BSc na MSc straight and so the tension is up!!! But did God tell ya?

I KNEW like I know my name, that MSc was NOT part of my own life’s journey then so I DID NOT CARE A HOOT who was doing MSc whether in Nigeria or Yankee.

Absolutely NO TENSION!!!

For the records, I was the best graduating student of my set and made a First Class ooo so my Lecturers, a lot of whom I am friends with, used to harangue me to go get a Masters. I was eligible for a scholarship in my school and then some Profs were willing to help me secure scholarships abroad too because my grades were over the roof.

A Prof actually told me that I was wasting my first class…

He missed it.

I KNOW why God gave me a First Class and…

Infact, one day, I will tell a story.

Or two.

Darling, You go sit before the Lord and get a BLUEPRINT for YOUR OWN LIFE, run your race and quit being a SPECTATOR in another man’s race.

But on your way to the finish line, enjoy the season you are in.

Another angle to looking at being AUTHENTICALLY YOU is that sometimes, some seasons come and then there are just some things you cannot do even though it may be embarrassing or unpopular to admit.

Lemme illustrate…

A dear dear DEAR friend (haha she knows herself) was one of those who were to contribute money for something for someone. We had agreed on 5k each I think. 5k seemed like a fair amount for everyone and I was the one to collect the money. Then babe comes to me and says she can only afford 3k ooo so maybe someone should complete her own.

Frankly ehn, that day my respect for her peaked!!! And I have since told her this, over a year later.

Is it that it was only 3k in her account? No. maybe if she pushed herself she may have brought out the 5k but her and her hubs had things to do with money and this was impromptu and it was a gift so she was CONFIDENT enough to say THIS IS ALL I HAVE kpom kwem.

How freeing it must be to just BE AUTHENTICALLY YOU and unapologetically so!!!

Authentic enough to say if need be

‘Babes I am sorry, I CANNOT afford your asoebi but I would be happy to come for your wedding’

‘I think 20k each for a bridal/baby show budget. If you don’t mind, I will pay 5k…’

My bridal shower

My bridal shower

Sorry, I have to be home not later than 10pm so I can NOT hang out with yawl all night…’

Catching the drift?

Because sometimes, it is all in a bid to prove who we are NOT to impress those who don’t really care that we begin to do things that are ‘unlike us’.

I just LOVE meeting women/ladies who are FREE to be themselves, authentically, and then are very quick to compliment and affirm another woman. To celebrate and encourage another.

I have a friend like that. One day I asked her how she was always so encouraging and celebratory of other’s successes EVEN when hers is yet to materialise.

My boooooooo

My boooooooo

She told me she had to learn it ooo because it did not start easy. But she knows that in celebrating them, she is paving the way for her own. She genuinely celebrates when others marry, deliver, do anniversary, etc. She is the one to always holler whenever i put up KingDaveed’s picture and just commend me for doing a great job with him. Chisom never tires of saying it. That my friend is very amazing walahi. Even when she was out of job, her I CELEBRATE YOU party did not stop. I had to learn from her, plush she used to attend COZA.

You too can LEARN it.

No wonder Paul said

I have LEARNT the secret of being content in and every situation… Phil 4:12

I believe that a TRULY SATISFIED-IN-GOD HEART would be quick to both celebrate and call out GREATNESS in others.

We have to find crazy ways to encourage and compliment one another. Not just on the superficial stuff (your hair is nice, I love your dress, which no doubt are also important) but also on WHO the person is (You do a GREAT job with your kids. My goodness, you are a great home maker. Since you became my boss, you have taught me so many life lessons. I am so blessed to be under your ministry. Your blog has changed my life for good. I covet the skills you have to balance your home, church commitments and work, etc).

All this ‘who does she think she is? Na wa ooo, this one that just got married is now feeling important, etc’ CANNOT help anybody ooo, especially YOU.

Forget BEEF and just CELEBRATE another sister. Like Shirer said, there is PURITY attached to a compliment from one sister to another that may be absent when it comes from a man.

And please not those STUPID backhanded compliments ooo that always come with a BUT which I will address in a separate post. WHOLE compliments.

I random drop voice messages for women who have blessed my life. I recall one beautiful lady I met off my blog and then in person.

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In the short while I have known her, she has taught me so many things both as a mom and a homemaker and one day I just random sent her a long voice message celebrating and thanking her. She was REALLY surprised that anyone would do that. Infact most people I have done that for have come up SURPRISED!!!

My sisters, how about we make this the NORM!!!

I think it is innate in every one of us to want to be celebrated and we would draw closer to healthy relationships that affirm us and give us the freedom to be us, even though we are not all on the same level.

Frankly, I want someone to buy a car/house and feel so free to ring me and tell me what God has done for her, knowing that I will wholeheartedly celebrate her even though I am yet to buy mine.

An AFFIRMER!!!

An AFFIRMER!!!

I want to be able to freely share with you and we can pray for one another in purity of heart.

Frankly, I am TIRED of beef, comparison, tension, hate, etc…

Aren’t you?

Let’s RESOLVE to be

AUTHENTICALLY ME!!!

I WILL ACCEPT AND CELEBRATE MY UNIQUENESS AND WILL ESTEEM AND ENCOURAGE THE DISTINCTIONS I ADMIRE IN OTHERS.

&

SURPRISINGLY SATISFIED!!!

I DO SOLEMNLY RESOLVE TO EMBRACE MY CURRENT SEASON OF LIFE AND WILL MAXIMISE MY TIME IN IT. I WILL RESIST THE URGE TO HURRY THROUGH OR CIRCUMVENT ANY PORTION OF MY JOURNEY BUT WILL LIVE WITH A SPIRIT OF CONTENTMENT.

Have a BLESSED week guys and IGNORE JUNK FOOD!!!

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God loves yawl like crazzzzzy

E’

 

PS

This October challenge is almost over… HALLELUJAH!!! Two more Posts to go.

Oh and I think I have a bonus post or two.

No promises. But in 3days, we have THE SPIRIT OF SHUT UP pt 2

Find Part 1 here http://eziaha.com/2015/10/07/the-spirit-of-shut-up-pt-1/

 

 

 

B A L A N C E… A definition!!!

Has anyone ever told you to strike a balance with your life, especially when you are finding it hard holding it all together?

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Maybe you have also told yourself several times but maybe have not quite gotten a hold of this ELUSIVE but highly coveted BALANCED LIVING!!! Especially when everything on your plate is really a GOOD thing that would give God the glory…

Hmm. Dunno about ya Sis/Bro but my entire life, I am always always tryna find a BALANCE to my life.

I heard a definition/explanation of balance from, OF COURSE Priscilla Shirer (She’s my Mary who gets the baby in my womb leaping) and I thought to share…

my allday err'day ADDICTION!!!!

my allday err’day ADDICTION!!!!

She heard it from an older, wiser mentor lady.

She said that a lot of times, a lot of us define balance as having say TEN boxes each representing all the stuff in your life at the mo and having all of them full to the same level in such a way that they are all equal. That is anything BUT balance hon. That is C H A O S!!!

I can imagine how many of us have tried to arrange the stuff in our lives to be equal and perfect and how often we have ended up frustrated, dissatisfied and stretched too thin, simply because WE CANNOT and frankly because THEY SHOULD NOT BE EQUAL!!!

Lemme quote Priscilla Shirer on the definition of a balanced life

A balanced life is when you prayerfully consider which of these ten boxes are most important to GOD in this season of my life RIGHT NOW. Then you push those to the front and pull everything else to the back…You allow those two or three to the fore while the rest of them have just a small amount of your time… (Ask yourself) what is God’s priority for you in this season and then you act immediately pouring into those boxes…

The seasons in our lives are constantly changing and it is only wise that our priorities change with some taking the back burner (or totally getting off the stove) EVEN IF THEY ARE GOOD STUFF.

Yes, saying NO to even the GOOD STUFF is a MAJOR part of BALANCE!!!

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Let me put this in some perspective by painting some real and fictional scenarios…

********

My marriage for the better part of the almost TWO years we have been married has been long distance. My hubs is a CHURCH BOY but when I am around for say anything from a weekend to a week, BALANCE is that he, for that period of time I am around, HE CUTS DOWN on his church activities and FOCUSES on his family.

NUMBER ONE ASSIGNMENT!!!

NUMBER ONE ASSIGNMENT!!!

Why?

Because the first assignment God has given to him is his family NOT the people in church. Choir or the Youth church will NOT close down with everyone spiralling downwards into Hades if he CHILLS for that temporary season!!! I love that my husband gets that and strikes a GOOD BALANCE.

********

I recall in school then, there was always this buzz/guilt trip about how people become less committed in fellowship during exam periods and all EVEN when meeting times dragged longer than normal or UNNECESSARY meetings were being called for.

Very very funny. And UNWISE!!!

There is sure a time for everything and for someone like me who was plenty committed, it was NEVER a bad idea to RUN OFF 2nanoseconds after the main meeting is over during exam period, PLUS not turn up for any unnecessary impromptu meetings that CAN WELL WAIT UNTIL AFTER EXAMS and move some CHURCH-RELATED activities to the back burner until exams are over. I know this sounds controversial but hon, WISDOM!!!

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Exams are gonna last just two weeks so please honor your parents (and the fees they are paying) and prioritise for that period. You are afterall in that fellowship BECAUSE YOU ARE A STUDENT!!! For some students who read my blog, this is a RHEMA for you right there.

I certainly wasn’t a party to that overje lol. I was a HOD at several times and during exam periods, I would finish my meetings ON TIME and push my people to go and study.

B A L A N C E!!!

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When I used to run the FAB group with some 10-15 ladies, at some point, one of the MORE COMMITTED ladies sends me an email saying she had to leave for so so and so reasons. I think she had been in the group for say 6months or more. The GROUP had been such a blessing to her and I KNEW because we had grown soooo close but several other boxes in her life needed to get to the fore burner and so she had to sacrifice the group for them, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A GOOD THING!!! I was going to miss her incredibly BUT that decision was THE WISEST DECISION at the time because the group was fully engaging and all.

B A L A N C E!!!

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Still on the same thought, I recently told my prayer sisters in a Prayer Group I am in to give me some time out to sort out myself. My baby was getting more demanding, I had taken on some added responsibility to my life recently plus other things sha so our prayer time together actually became the time I REALLY NEEDED TO SLEEP or do some other stuff I sacrificed for sleep earlier in the day otherwise I would burn out and blow up some boxes of higher priority.

I LOVED praying with my Sisters 6x a week BUT at this point in my life, I could NOT cope and balance meant pushing it OFF THE BURNER!!!

B A L A N C E!!!

Please note, that was not my Quiet time with God ooo. It was a Prayer Group!!!

Still on Groups, (and I am using the Groups example because I have a very active online/virtual life which is part of what I HAVE BEEN CALLED TO DO), I have had cause to shut down two groups I was in charge of. One is the one listed above that my friend had to leave, and then the other was my Mentoring group. The former I shut down because my life was changing so much and I could not manage it like I would have wanted to at the time. Moreover we had been together for almost a year and I knew it was best to ‘leave when the ovation was loudest’ and then begin afresh with ‘fresh blood’and make wider impact. I had to move on. So I gave my lil speech, we said our goodbyes and I took everyone out ready for the next batch of ladies.

My mentoring group too, same thing. I needed to move on with a fresh set of mentees and at first I thought I could run both parallel but what did I know? Haha!!! Wisdom demanded that I give my goodbye speech and release them. Plus my mentees had become FIERY WOMEN OF GOD themselves haha so our time together, which had been AMAZEBALLS was up and I had to move to a new season, and let them too.

Group dissolved.

And I still have not started a new one because that Box, though a very good one, has to take a back burner now while I sort out other boxes and also prepare prayerfully for directions on the new Mentoring Group.

NO PRESSURE CAN LET ME DO OTHERWISE!!!

Same thing with my blog.

You know, there was this post Pastor M did belatedly for PK’s birthday. She was actually supposed to put up a blog post celebrating him and all and she had actually carried her laptop to, when the HS intervened. Long and short, that post didn’t come up because SHE PUSHED that VERY VERY GOOD THING(Blogpost) to the back burner and went instead at that time to SERVE her husband in a way that he would really know that it is a happy birthday indeed… FOOD!!!

Yes he would have ‘preciated the post but that FOOD?

‘…so i headed straight to the kitchen and whipped out my chef hat *wink wink* I gat skillz like that…;-) and by the time I came out of the kitchen my pk had a tray laden with prawns sautéed in coconut milk, stir fried chicken, peppered snails, chicken gizzard sauce ….need I say more? sorry guys no pictures but if you guys are really nice to me I just may put up the recipe 🙂 …especially for new brides like E’…’

Yup I am stopping right there where my name appeared but feel free to read the rest of the post here. Btw you won’t believe the keyword I used to retrieve this post…

Coconut milk!!!

Lol. I love coconut and I never forgot coconut milk in the food.

BALANCE!!!

But really, you get my point right? It would have been funny if she decided to blog AND cook. One would have suffered and it would have been the food even though blogging was  important as it would have blessed lives too. But HUSBAND FIRST!!!

Same thing I apply on my blog ooo.

I wish I could post everyday.

Maybe I have things to post every other day that would bless yawl, yup BUT I would BURN OUT DRY!!!

I am NOT tryna get a medal or compete with anyone else who blogs daily. My blogging has reduced progressively since I got married and then had a baby. HUBBY AND BABYBOY COME UNDISPUTABLY FIRST.

Kiss kiss before I go take a LONG walk

Kiss kiss before I go take a LONG walk

Maybe someday when I have put my life in order like I dream, I can be a more regular blogger (this October seamless flow we have been having took me a WHOLE MONTH to plan ahead for it) but on a lot of days, my blog has to take a BACK SEAT!!! I LOVE yawl my FAB readers but I have to consider my life’s seasons and pace myself… There may be a Christian blogger too who blogs daily but I cannot be her. See why comparison ain’t good? She may actually be blowing up other boxes or she is living balanced. That is her own life. And boxes!!!

B A L A N C E!!!

That said, I am accepting offers to babysit. Maybe if you come sit for 4/5hours every week, I can do other stuff and then do at least ONE blogpost…

Holler!!!

Plus you get to hang out with the Cool E’…

Funny right now it is 3.40am (I wrote this post sometime in September) and I have been blogging since yesterday evening… Trying to write at least 3 or 4 posts at least. You see why this cannot be regular at THIS STAGE OF MY LIFE?

LOL.

BALANCE!!!

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I just recalled one of Heather’s video where she was LIVE on Periscope for her monthly Bible study (I think it was the one on Conflict) and just before the hour mark when she was answering questions LIVE, we heard hubby’s voice saying she NEEDED TO STOP NOW because her baby girl was awake and there was no more milk for her so she needed to come nurse.

Hahaha.

She could have finished that question ooo but mba, she said her goodbyes and went to serve her family.

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That question was so important but it had been one hour and so after that one hour, it took the back seat for Taylor to take the front seat.

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One other scenario is that sometimes, when I feel like I am burning out from TOO MUCH ACTIVITIES even if good, and say a public holiday is coming. If there is any activity in church fixed for that day, I take my permissions and DO NOT ATTEND but rather I retire into my closet and spend time ALONE refreshing with God!!!

Is that program GOOD?

YES!!!

But so is my personal time with GOD too,

EVEN MORE.

Missing one program or two won’t change the course of humanity. Of course, be sure your timing’s not off… and make sure you are actually not a loafer kinda Church worker.

Look, I know most of yawl that read my blog are church people and all but sometimes, you need to PULL A MARY and just step away from all the meetings and activities and just go SIT AT JESUS’S FEET ALONE!!!

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Take the necessary permission and please go for a private fellowship with Him. It could even be that YOU NEED TO GIVE YOUR FAMILY MORE TIME!!!

Look honey, if your GOD-GIVEN family especially wife/husband is not happy, you better sit your behind down and settle stuff at home. No need going to serve others in Church when your home is suffering.

See ehn, when I used to attend Fountain of life church, Pastor Taiwo would tell us how he always says to his female Pastors (and we had the HEAVYWEIGHT business woman Pastor Ibukun Awosika on board)

‘Look, if your husband EVER comes to complain to me that church is taking all of your time and he is not feeling you at home, I WOULD RELIEVE YOU OF YOUR ACTIVITIES and send you home to GO SERVE your hubby till I have his permission again…’

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Oh bless Pastor Taiwo. He knew family should come first even for his Pastors.

And Pastor Bimbo of blessed memory.

MY FIRST MENTOR

MY FIRST MENTOR

She was everywhere with her hubby’s blessings but she knew when to pull the brakes from being ‘Pastor Bim’ and be ‘Mrs. Odukoya’ and ‘Mommy’.

B A L A N C E!!!

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Even with your regular work/job, I certainly believe that sometimes, deliberately CLOSE EARLY and come home and just fellowship and hang out with your kids and family.

Hmm, some things are VERY important ooo for example FAMILY!!!

Strike a GOOD BALANCE with LIFE and make sure that FAMILY remains your number ONE PRIORITY because they are YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT

Since I started with her, lemme end with something I heard my ‘MARY’ Priscilla Shirer say…

One time she was being asked about how she balances ministry and the home and she said

‘…bla bla bla and it is my joy to serve my family of FOUR BOYS first and then on the side, serve others in ministry…’

I mean, look at the wisdom drippin’ in that statement!!!

Her church and ministry ain’t number one but her FAMILY even though she is a Preacher.

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And you can tell that this INCREDIBLE Bible study teacher undoubtedly puts her husband and 3 boys FIRST because she preaches a lot with their story…

Fam, please sit down, get those boxes out, and PRIORITISE based on the season of life that you are in at the moment…

Cheers… to a BALANCED life and livin’

God loves yawl like crazzzzy

 

E’

 

 

PS:

I got a BONUS post coming up tomorrow. It will be an AWESOME giveaway and EVERYBODY can . I just realised that I have never done a BLOG giveaway and that is so strange because I am a very generous person. Anyways it will have something to do with the BIBLE BATHROOM CHALLENGE I blogged about here. It will come up at noon on Saturday.

PPS:

Have yawl got your JOYCE MEYER STUDY BIBLE? I really dunno what you are waiting for ooo lol. Those who have bought it have been giving me good feedback. Plus how is the Bible Bathroom challenge going?

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My TOILET Bible lol

Hope you have been dropping your phone at the door of the toilet and taking your Bible instead? My experience has been awesome like I shared on IG

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PPPS

Do you know I actually FORGOT that I had to do a post today? Lol. I MADE IT TODAY BEFORE MIDNIGHT Yaaaay!!! The days are flying but I don’t intend to MISS even one schedule this October. I really hope I get to write the one I would love to post next before the 19th ooo. Though I have some pendings but I reeeeeaaaaaallllly need to write this post on AUTHENTICALLY ME & SURPRISNGLY SATISFIED!!! I am too excited about it oh my goodness!!! If it is not up next (aside the bonus giveaway post), then I would share my weight loss journey so far, something of an update from #FitFABFam.

TRAIN DIRTY!!!

TRAIN DIRTY!!!

But I am running a 45day challenge on IG documenting the entire process too

EAT CLEAN!!!

EAT CLEAN!!!

so you can choose to follow me if you are on IG @eziaha or FB, Eziaha Bolaji-Olojo or Twitter @eziahaA as I would share to Twitter and FB simultaneously.

Btw, what is above is cabbage soup which I made for the FIRST time today. It was SINFULLY DELISH!!! AND VERY FILLING GOODNESS!!!