Why am I still SINGLE? A message preached by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo

I just love this message. I am not sure but I think this was the last LoveDating&Marriage seminar I attended at DCC Lagos. I love it so much that it is the last Singles message left on my phone. It just seemed soooooo practical and useful. So this is dedicated to all my Single FABers. So much to learn from it. Preached by my Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo wpid-pastor-k.jpg So why am I still single? He answers this with 5 questions… Enjoy.

  1. Am I available?

Some people are actually NOT available but they think they are. Some actions or way of life make you NOT available in the ‘Singles market’ which is actually over saturated. There are some mindsets you may have which unknown to you may be sending out vibes to men that you are not available eg Do you always walk around with this thought ‘there are no good men/women anymore’ whilst praying for one? Honey, daz not ghanna wok. As a (wo)man thinketh in his heart, SO IS HE!!! Also if you are carrying emotional baggage, you may think you are available but you are not.

photo courtest intl workplace

photo courtest intl workplace

The energy flowing from you ain’t in line with what you praying for. It is like a house which has a ‘Welcome to our home’ doormat but yet a big dog right at the entrance. You know you ain’t welcome. Emotional baggages would keep getting in the way of conversations with even remotely interested opposite sex and aint nobody got time to continually hear about your ex John who dumped you or whatever horrid happened in the past. Please let God heal any hurt from your past. Also are you dating someone you KNOW you cannot marry whilst yet claiming ‘Single’? Eg dating a married man or some ‘bad guy’.

photo courtesy blogherdotcom

photo courtesy blogherdotcom

You may be thinking you are just holding that person in the mentime till the ‘Mr Right’ comes along but hunnay, you are sending signals even you don’t know about and people can pick those signals. You are emotionally involved no matter what you think. Usually when you meet someone, you are NOT as interested as a fully single person is only you don’t know.

Also, if there is this ‘Bro John’ you have been ‘claiming’ although dude has neither said anything nor is he feeling you laidat. That HUGE emotional investment in Bro John has made you less emotionally available to others but you dunno. It will be clear that there is NO VACANCY in your life for other people. Please don’t lose a good guy waiting on Bro John whom you have seen in a vision lol. Keep it moving and ‘empty’ Love. Bro John aint interested. PK tells the story of this girl in this uni who was overheard praying and claiming a certain ‘Bro John’ who everyone knows was already engaged to ‘Sister Mary’. The girl just dey pray dey claim the man calling out his name and surname sef. You see such a lady, though she is single, she ain’t available. Another way to check if you are available is to find out if you have unrealistic standards. The person some ladies/guys wanna marry is A PEOPLE- 4/5 in one person. I wrote a post on that here. Nobody is 100% and hey even if there was someone like that, guess what? That person wont be able to stand you cos you are not 100%. I want a man that is very romantic, rich, successful, Prayer warrior, Bible teacher, good singer like Don or Kirk, humble like Adeboye, have faith like Oyedepo, excellent like Adefarasin, Prayer warrior like Olukoya, funny like PK, HABA SISTER, ONLY YOU!!!??? Humans are work in progress. That spouse doesn’t have to come 100% perfect 2. Are you accessible?

Photo from Flickr

Photo from Flickr

Some people are available and eligible but they are NOT accessible. They cannot be reached. Nobody got access to her.

Photo from flickr

Photo from flickr

Almost like all those sheltered children whose father had this shotgun or a big dog for any man that dared to visit.

You are certainly not welcome on this property... Photo from Flickr

You are certainly not welcome on this property… Photo from Flickr

As a single person, you must be able to be reached. You can’t be praying for a spouse and continually sit in your room under your bed, tz only mosquito that will see you. And God. But God doesn’t wanna marry. Ain’t no eligible person gonna come under your bed and see you. Which is why it is good for instance to belong to a church and a service group. Too much stories of couples who met whilst serving in church.

photo courtesy mix949

photo courtesy mix949

Being a member of the church ain’t enough especially if you are in all those big churches. Chances that you would be seen are low when all you do is come in, worship and after service you just leave. Ah!!! Bae, how is that gonna work? Join a department/small unit/connect group/house fellowship and let people SEE you and interact with you.

photo courtesy crossedroadsabc.com

photo courtesy crossedroadsabc.com

Not that you just rush into your car after every service without interacting with anybody. Don’t always walk sooooo fast. If you are single, reduce your pace hehehe. But frankly, I met one of my readers who said some people complained that she always walks too fast and with a straight face everytime in church and so was unapproachable. So please, catwalk ehn. Especially as a lady because these guys just dey try arrange themselves, gather stamina and muster courage to talk to you but before they reach you, you don disappear. And as a guy too, you gast be wise/. He tells the story of how in Bible school, first day he spotted this girl he thought he would like to get to know. Unfortunately, they didn’t sit so close. The next day he came early and sat close to the area the girl sat, made it a habit and kept finding reasons to communicate with her even if it meant copying notes he already had and asking questions he already had the answers to. ‘Excuse me, did you copy the assignment?’ ‘Did you get what that teacher said here?’ Of course, they started talking from there. My dear, you must be accessible as a single. Position yourself well. Have hobbies and be involved in them. Be sociable. Have friends. Obviously, he is not talking clubbing and stuff. There is healthy clean fun. Take yourself out if you have to, somebody might meet you there ooo. Nobody must take you there ooo. And while you are there, please be looking around small small. Like my Rev would say, watch and pray 3. Be approachable

From a recent shooting with Nemorosa. Thanks for the great shooting!

From a recent shooting with Nemorosa. Thanks for the great shooting!

Some people are available, they are accessible but to approach them is a different, impossible ball game. If you need to practice how to smile in front of a mirror, please do. Some ladies have a natural frowning face. A lot of men are not bold and they fear rejection so imagine they now gather courage to walk up to you and say hi or anything else to initiate conversation and you just size them up and down and are generally not very polite or welcoming.

photo courtesy flickr

photo courtesy flickr

The guy will just change mouth, turn you to traffic warden and ask you for direction or to borrow bible or something else. Anything but what he was on his mind because your countenance is bad. Please greet people and respond warmly. He that hath friend must show himself friendly. Recall Rebekah and how approachable and friendly she was to Abby’s servant and how she landed herself a rich young eligible blessed man. Another thing is when ladies always walk together like a gang and their countenance makes it hard for any guy to get that opportunity to speak to one privately. Don’t look down on people who don’t have it all now and be like ‘he is not my type’ lol. Some of these hunks we see now have not always been hunks ooo. For example see Rev and PK’s Surulere pix hehehe

hahahahahaha lol

hahahahahaha lol. I wish I can see the third man now

See them today

See them today

so some of these guys you boning now may be multi-millionaires in a few years. No use today scatter your tomorrow. Be approachable. That’s all for Part 1. Part 2 will be up same time next week. That’s Tuesday. Until then, share with your friends aii… Especially your Single and ready for marriage ones Trust you enjoyed this. Please share with your single friends, male and female and you can worship with DCC here WORSHIP WITH US DCC Lagos Victory Dome Behind PHCN Office, Fatgbems Bus Stop, Amuwo Odofin, Lagos 1st Service – 7.00am 2nd Service – 8.30am 3rd Service – 10.00am Midweek service Wednesday 6.30pm DCC Victoria Island Elegushi Beach Road, Beside Meadow Hall School, After 3rd Roundabout, Lekki, Lagos. Sunday Service – 11.00am Rush Hour Fellowship (Midweek service especially for those who work on the Island) Tuesdays:                    6pm at Silverbird Cinema, Hall 4. Instead of going to enter traffic, enjoy Rush hour fellowship and be refreshed. Love Dating and Marriage (the program where this message and such relationship messages are preched) holds at different intervals in the year. If you would call our numbers, they can send you reminder texts if you wish. Website: http://davidschristiancentre.org/ Phone number: 08077714411   And then of course we have our annual WHEN WOMEN WORSHIP coming up next week. Please click on link to get all the details. Friday June 19- Sunday June 21.

WHEN WOMEN WORSHIP 2015

WHEN WOMEN WORSHIP 2015

Ladies, you know you can’t afford to miss this one. Hosted of course by Pastor Mildred Kingsley-Okonkwo

Gorgeously preggo

Gorgeously preggo

Stay blessed y’all

E’

PS

In the, an amazing relationship blogger and sister has this beautiful post up on tips to surviving wedding season. Check it out here http://www.inthemidstofher.com/2015/05/5-tips-to-surviving-wedding-season.html

Feel free to snoop around her amazing blog too

Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo

E’s.Mail…Pre-marital Counselling

Airport lounges are a great place to blog…
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I have done quite some blogging every time I wait…
I actually thought I would spend some time reading this book while I await my flight,
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but I decided I would read the book in-flight since all electronic gadgets would have to be off then…
I am also praying that I get an extra meal pack seeing as I am super hungry and in my hurry, I didn’t have either brekkie or lunch and I am too prudent/stingy to buy airport food…
Tz past 2pm BTW…
Meanwhile, I  have enjoyed all sorts of favor flying ooo… From being upgraded to first class, to extra snacks, to taking a picture in the cockpit…
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He he he. At the checkpoint today, they didn’t even check my hand luggage. Didn’t let me remove my sandals, didn’t do that annoying touching all over they do… Nothing. They just kept saying ‘ah fine original African girl/lady/etc…’ My hubby said that’s how I would have passed with bomb and they will be hailing me…loooooool
Let’s see what happens today…
#opentoverypleasantsurprises#
Free tip: Always wear a blinding smile at the airport… Works!!!
OK this really mean man just came to sit across me with a plate of steamy sweet smelling snails…
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#PureEvil#
Back to the subject matter… With TY Bello’s Yahweh playing nonstop from my phone, lemme welcome you to this segment called E’s.Mail…
So a darling FAB’er sent me this mail…
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Because I have been asked this question time and again, I decided to answer this publicly. Someone else may need the info…

First off, nothing awkward here darling… You know E’ now… Awkward is getting overrated 🙂
Thanks darling… For writing in and for the love… And of course, we know who gets all the glory yeah… #SugarDaddyOfMine

Yes, hubby and I lived in different places for 4+ of the 5+ years we dated…
And believe me, we did counselling with our two different churches tho we were wedding in mine only. He is a leader in his church and dearly beloved of almost every pastor and member so he had to bring his intended to be very checked out and approved first…
Now, while I subscribe to pre-marriage counselling (ranges anything from the popular one week or /two to four weekends crash program to the very rare intensive three months in different churches I think…), I daresay it is NOT enough. Especially the  crash courses…
My opinion tho…
Now I say this because most churches I know won’t join you until you have undergone their marriage counselling classes but has that impacted on the number of divorces, seperations and all sorts that we see even in the church today?
I sincerely believe that marriage is such a HUGE deal so the same we study for our degrees, we also need to study to make this institution which is lifelong work…
Now what am I saying?
I recall as a student in unibadan, there was this time Rev TJ (Rev’s darling babe) was transferred to pastor my branch (Shabach centre). Since it was opposite UI, students were about 3/4 of the congregation. One of the first things she told us then was those in relationships should let her know and bring their intended to her so she can get to know them and counsel along…
***side note… Second and final boarding announcement. Gotta run.
FreeTip2: Avoid the rush,and the queuing especially if you don’t have a huge hand luggage. Always board at the final call 🙂 Catch y’all soon***

8.50pm… Long trip…  But the show must go on…

OK where were we?
So she wanted us to bring our ‘boifwends’ and girlfriends…
I am sure a lot of people wondered why and thought she probably just wanted to hear gist…
But she had her strong reasons…
Anyways,me, even before she said, there was no way I was going to be dating someone and I would not have informed my pastors… Especially because my church was a relationship church and they really understood relationships, evident in the kinda marriage they had.

Now Aku m wasn’t in Ibadan but after I was sure that it was him I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, the next time dude came, fiam I had him visit Rev and his wife for them to scrutinize him wella and probably throw in a few ‘you better don’t mess with our very precious daughter E’ or we will go all ninja on you’ threats… I wasn’t at that meeting but when Rev called me, he was like ‘…ah Eziaha, this one is a good one ooo… I like him. I can’t threaten him…’ and all that. Rev teju also loved him too. Intact, I tell her she loves him more than me, because they both have reserved personalities while Rev and myself are the sanguines yo!!!
My dear, that was where our counselling began ooo. At the very beginning of the relationship… Every time we were together in town, we would visit them, there were many calls, many individual sessions, many counsels, a few quarrel settlings lol, but basically, they were involved.
Because he attends winners which is NOT a relationship church, I made sure I over-dosed him on books, and messages on relationships from Rev, Pk, Pastor Bimbo and others like Gary Chapman and co…  We would read together, discus OVER THE PHONE most times, ask questions, etc.
That formed part of counselling too…
Then I also wanted him to meet pk…I wanted pk to ‘shake him up’ a bit since Rev had shown him love. He he he. Balance jare… Don’t judge
Infact, i used to invite him for DCC programs but he couldnt make most till MAN UP… A relationship program just for men. He bought a ticket and came all the way to LAGOS just to attend Man up and see pk if possible. He didn’t see him but he got his pin. Then they got talking on Bb. Intact, pk had to move him to his personal bbm because he is his daughter’s fiancée…  Phew, two appointments gone awry, they never met till the wedding day but on Bb they talk. Infact Bolaji used to say that whenever he puts up my picture, pk will ping him as if to say ‘…hmmm, I am watching you ooo. No just try yasef where my daughter dey…’ Loooool
No slacking oooo… I couldn’t be dating anyone and the spiritual authorities won’t be carried along…
So now, when Bolaji proposed,
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we were back to Rev and his wife THE NEXT DAY Loooool.
Both to inform them and be prayed for…
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Cos we were going to see my people and God knows we needed the prayers, counsel, etc being that I had been warned not to bother bringing a Yoruba person…
All though the drama that ensued during the whole wedding process, rev was carried VERY along… Ditto pk…
What was all that? Part of marriage counselling because dealing with the in laws comes with the package…
Now when we started the marriage counselling proper, my hubby was coming from his base to IBADAN  every time. Kai… The flight tickets no be here Loooool.

The good thing was that with that sort of foundation, we did fewer classes than the ‘regular’
In fact on two occasions, we left Rev’s house at 10pm (bless the Oduwole’s for me dear God). The the next day we would be back to Lagos and hubby would fly back to base…
Then we also had a session with another of my pastors in school, Rev Bunmi… Choi
That one was sex counselling… You will hear tinzzzzz and trust Rev Bunmi na… God bless him he is also a medical doctor hehehe… But I loved it…
Then I had to travel to his church too for counselling and marriage interview. It was going to be a crash course since I wasn’t wedding in Winners. This one caused wahala ooo, I won’t lie. Cos I didn’t want to go, especially as I had come earlier and it didn’t hold and the wedding was drawing close and most weekends were busy and my parents weren’t excited about me travelling weekends plus I was still working. I think hubby had to report me to Rev first and then, of course (who born me), I found myself making the trip two weeks to the wedding… Choi.
If you see the drilling for the interview at Winners eh…  Infact after drilling us together, they now seperated us, asked us very intimate questions and then compared answers to be sure we weren’t lying… Lol. Frankly, I didn’t expect all that and to God be the glory, we passed their interview in flying colours. In fact the head of the panel (yes they were three) now said they were very impressed with our session and that they had not interviewed a couple this in sync before and who seemed to understand and were well prepared for what they were going into. They said so many glowing things about us and coming from Winners, you know that is a big deal yeah? I remember calling rev very excitedly to gist him… Aside the interview, we did a two day marathon counselling session with different pastors handling different topics. My favorite was the one on communication. The facilitator did an amazing job. Then my least fave was ………………….lol. No comment

So my darling J, we did counselling-a-plenty:-from dating days, to pre-engagement, post-engagement and pre-marital counselling…
And the truth is, it never stops…
Infact one thing we started doing in marriage was to listen to marriage tapes together and then discus it. Tz our very own Love Dating and Marriage seminar…
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And reason ooo… Any reason!!!
So that way, we are sure we will keep hearing the right voices all through this journey…
If we are going to have the marriage of our dreams, we have to deliberately build it…

Now, of course many people have good or even great marriages without all of this. Oh well, I aint sure but I guess…
Me sha, I know say in the multitude of counsel there is safety….
I didn’t want to go into this marital journey ill-prepared and walahi I know I have a lot of wahala  and plenty to learn so I took advantage of all the arsenals within my reach…

I hope this helps…
Cheers

E’
Going Forward…Still Testifying

PS
Started this post on Monday… Concluded it Tuesday right in Unilag auditorium where we are having one job awareness thingy as part of our POP activities for batch A Corps members…
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Feb 13 in view… Thank you Jesus.
#Can’wait #BatchA2013

Let’s give ’em som’in to be proud about…

I love mentor-mentee relationships… Especially those within the kingdom. I love such phrases as…
‘…one of my sons was telling me…’
‘…my father in the faith/Lord said…’
‘…one of my mentees came to see me…’
I really look out for such phrases whenever I am listening to a message or reading a book.
I know that we can’t run this race alone without healthy associations or mentoring and I am VERY WARY of men of God who just appear from nowhere without any ‘father figure’ in their ministry… I listen to/read a good number of preachers and I can tell
‘oh, so so and so is this person’s mentor…’ and all.
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I especially love when a mentor is invited to preach in a mentee’s church and I listen VERY CLOSELY to the introduction by the mentee and the opening statements by the mentor of the mentee… it gives me a beautiful idea of their relationship and I am looking for what to ‘steal’ from that. Funny yeah? Loooool… But tz wisdom…
This morning, I was listening to a message preached by Rev Femi in his own Pastor, Rev Victor Adeyemi’s church convention in my final year.
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I was a part of the protocol that went with Rev and I was just smiling as I recalled all that went down as Rev Victor introduced Rev. All the glowing things one Rev said about the other and also what Rev’s wife had to say about their relationship with Rev Victor and his family… You could literally feel the honor they have for their Pastor… Ditto the love. I could also tell how immensely PROUD of Rev Femi that Rev Victor is… IMMENSELY… And trust me, I have heard Rev Victor talk PLENTY times about Rev in different meetings.
With such a ‘son’ like Rev Femi, you would be proud. Proud that God called you into ministry in the first place…
And then i thought,
‘Am I giving the mentor figures in my life something to be proud about? Can they give such a good report about me too? Is their mentorship in vain or fruitful? All the sweating they sweat on the pulpit, all the time they spend on one-on-ones, am I making them of much or no effect? Can they truly say ‘Eziaha, I am proud of you…?’

Hmm…
I am still answering some of those questions and making necessary adjustments…
Yesterday was my Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo’s birthday and he happens to be birthday mates with his ‘son’ who pastors DCC Abuja.
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Trust me, Pastor Busayo is a son in whom the Okonkwo’s are well pleased. And judging by the love that was shown to Pastor B too, I can say DCC as a whole is well pleased in him too. I spent a month plus in DCC Abuja and Pastor B’s zeal and passion is something else. Truly, like Father like son… I really look forward to moving to Abuja and joining DCC Abuja and doing God’s work cos I have seen how this ‘son’ is as fiercely loyal to God’s work as he is to God’s servant PK.
I love that Pk can say of Pastor B,
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‘This is my son in whom I am well pleased…’
Kai, all this kain tin dey sweet me. I love healthy loving vertical relationships… I especially love to study the ‘lesser’ person especially the one that Hebrews 7:7 says is being blessed as a result of honoring the ‘greater’ and in whom the greater is well pleased…
And the scripture is replete with such healthy relationships… Paul and Timothy, Joshua and Moses, Elijah and Elisha, etc. Remember I said HEALTHY not PERFECT. There are NO perfect people…
I did a lot of thinking this morning… till now.
I will still meditate on this…
I don’t want to be a lazy mentee, or one that a mentor would brand ‘unserious’. The kind that would keep coming for counsel but will still go away and do NOTHING about it…
It is FOOLISH to ignore what your FATHER taught you… Prov 15:5
I certainly don’t want to be a foolish mentee…
That foolish mentee that would see trouble coming, ignore the mentors advice and enter… or will I obey and avoid it… (Prov 22:3)
I have decided that I want to give my mentors plenty to be proud about…
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Let them know that their labour over me is NOT in vain…
And just incase you are wondering why the focus is on mentors and pastors…
That is simple…
I Cor 11:1… IMITATE/FOLLOW me, just as I IMITATE/FOLLOW Christ…
My mentors FOLLOW Christ… Serious copy-copy these spiritual fathers of mine. Totally sold out. Me sef no dey shame as I dey do my own follow follow ooo…
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#DontJudgeMe . (I should have titled this post FOLLOW FOLLOW)
They also take their calling and following VERY seriously because they know they are accountable to the Boss, God!!!
Heb 13:17… Obey your LEADERS and FOLLOW their orders. They watch over your souls without resting knowing that they MUST give God an ACCOUNT of their SERVICE…

So tge onus is now on YOU to FOLLOW the right fathers and mentors…

If you go follow blind mentor, na ditch you go enter ooo (Matt 15:!4). And you won’t give God som’in to be proud about…
Your call…

Oh btw, tz two months today
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and “I’M STILL DO” too
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Signing those dotted lines? BEST decision of my LIFE (after being born-again of course…). We are caps off grateful dear God…
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And with both of us FOLLOWING these couple mentors as they IMITATE Christ even in their marriages, you can be sure that this walk/work will keep getting better and better… And we will continue to enjoy THE MARRIAGE OF OUR DREAMS… Amen.

My testifier tomorrow is another ‘follow-follow’ woman. I love her to smithereens… And tomorrow is such a special day in her life… YAY!!! Can’t wait…

And seriously, thank you to the F.A.B community for all your support and loving… keep spreading the link to the blog. Tz pretty easy http://www.eziaha.com
And so is my besties blog http://www.dumebie.com
Yay!!!
Booski kicked off her blog just a couple of weeks ago and she has upgraded to dotcomtinz. If you are still on a http://www.???.WORDPRESS.com and you started blogging eons ago, COVER YOUR FACE!!! :p
Yes I am yabbing you… y’all know yourselves…
And yup, my email is now
*drumroll*
eziaha@eziaha.com
Whoooooooop!!!
If you are a blogger on a dotcom level and you need a customized email address, holla. Tz free btw…
You are welcome…
🙂

Muah

E’
Going Forward… Still Testifying

PS:
Just as I put finishing touches to this post, Priceless pings me to harass me cos I haven’t updated the blog, asking me if I have sold it.
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So I said I will yab her… so this is me yabbing her… FOLLOW FOLLOW…
Ah Priceless and her hubby are confirmed FOLLOW FOLLOW too ooo. Amazing couple. I love the BUNDLES… Her testifying post is also loading…
Oh btw, I already mentioned that I have OVER 31 voices already right… Yup. So entries closed… thank you for understanding
🙂

PPS:

First LDM comes up this Sunday at 4.30pm
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Where PK gets all these titles is indeed between him and God… hehehe.
If you are in Lagos, please attend. DCC is in Amuwo Odofin. Call 080777714411 for all the details you need…

PPPS:

You guys thought I was cooking up a storm abi? Pastor M cooked up a tornado yesterday while I was waiting for a blog post…
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Choi…
Woman of God (and hubby) keep moving the goal post…
I wish I visited. 😦
BTW, watch out on http://www.justusgirlsnaija.com this Sunday morning. The post would be live then… Tz also Pastors appreciation day…

Maybe we should ALL stop laughing…

First off, I the biggest biggest warmest lovingest HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of my most fabulous FAB’ers, Ify.
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Beyond the blog, Ify and I have become sisters though we have never met. One of the many joys of blogging. She has such a beautiful heart. Aside from dropping the most amazing comments and prayers on my blog, i have featured her once here

http://eziaha.com/2013/08/26/2937/

Hubby and I will definitely be ringing her up later tonight.
Aside a Happy Birthday, I wanna say THANK YOU Sweeetheart,. God bless you and your triple C-delight kids and your amazing hubby.
I totally love you… Amazing woman of God and big sis
FAB’ers, show her some LOVE… Say her a prayer…

OK on to today’s post
I had never been happier to be in DCC than I was second sunday of this year after over 7weeks away…
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In those 7weeks, I learnt a HUGE lesson… A GOOD church helps your spiritual growth. It really matters less how mature you are spiritually, if you are ‘outside the fold’, hmm….
Of course I had been outta Lagos all that while hence…And I won’t lie, I was secretly beefing DCC folks on my BBM as I saw their updates and broadcasts… #SaltOnInjury
Anyways, PK was preaching on ‘Making better decisions’ and what better time to do that than the start of the year…
In characteristic PK style, while he explained to us the effects of bad decisions, he injected a lot of humor and stories into his sermon to drive home the point…
One of the stories he told was about this guy who he counselled against marrying this girl cos PK knew the girl and just knew she wasn’t right. Infact, she had caused so much trouble in church and PK and others had prayed her outta church. Now dude brought this girl say na she he wan marry… Long story short, he went ahead and married her.
Rewind…
Before then, dude was a bad boy… Smoking, drinking, the works… Then he got saved and committed in church. He had a thriving business, used to tithe weekly a remarkable cash-range, was crazy about giving and even used to go to PK to ask what projects church was doing atm so he could sow…
When dude starts dating the girl and stuff gets serious, business first starts nosediving… Commitment in church reduced… Post-marriage, it got worse. Real bad. Then he left church. Went back to his worldly ways. Business scattered and of course marriage CRASHED in about a year…
When he later shared his ‘testimony’ with PK, he said from DAY 1 of his marriage, fights all the way… They were always fighting. Sometimes, they would park the car on the highway just to fight. It was a bad bad sorry situation…
PK has a way with stories so people were laughing. E’ inclusive. The person beside me now said the last time he saw the guy he was drunk and didn’t look good at all…
Then I heard that voice…
‘We should NO longer be laughing…’
I mean that guy’s life nosedived because of one WRONG headstrong easily avoidable decision…
Today, years after, his story aint better…
I felt bad ooo, lie no good…
Maybe really, we should stop laughing when we hear things like this… Maybe we should commit in our own lil way to helping people around us make better decisions…
Especially relationship wise…both with same sex and the opposite/romantic ones.
A friend of Aku m late last year was talking about how her bf used to beat her and she wanted to know if he will change. Pk must have made me harsh when it comes to things like this so I said
‘He won’t ooo…She should leave now…’
He counselled her and then we prayed for her… Cos she was in a bad state.
I was overjoyed when he told me that she found the courage to break up with him. I was very excited to hear that…
VERY VERY excited. I almost sent her a congratulatory message.
Because I remembered Titi’s case in which she lost her life from alleged domestic violence….
http://eziaha.com/2013/12/30/na-the-same-marriage-be-dis/
After I ran that story, a blog reader called me and said she was roomies with Titi in Ife… So titi was just not another girl. She was a real living person she had lived, played and studied with… And she was pregnant when she got married. Maybe she shouldn’t have married him but still kept the pregnancy…
Maybe… Just maybe.
That story still pains me cos tz just sad… Gosh!!!
Another blog reader called me early this year and told me she had broken up with her guy. Now last year, we had had this convo about this guy and I had told her I didn’t think he was THE ONE especially as I saw she had a heart for God. If there was a marriage would have driven her CRAZY guaranteed cos the drama from the relationship was incredible already.
Of course she was hurting but I congratulated her and encouraged her NOT to go back ooo no matter what and trust God for a Good God-man instead. Infact, I told her if you ever feel like calling him, call me instead. I’ll be here for you…
I knew some girl too in Uni… Totally wonderful girl. Dating a philandering guy… She knew ultimately but couldn’t bring herself to leave easily. I had her in my prayers… We were not close per se but if anybody should make that kain mistake, NOT HER… I thought she had a future with incredible potential… I didn’t want her to be reduced to the ‘insanity’ that comes with a hubby that can’t zip his pants up and leave it zipped. Before she will start writing letters to ‘Disposable’ and ‘Shaggy’ like the woman in my Booski’s blog series…
When I heard she finally called it off with the guy, I threw a private party…
😀

My Pastor Mildred Okonkwo has a dilemma post on her blog.
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And now bestie is about to displace her as wifey . I love what Diche commented…
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So true… You can’t be Best friends with someone like that without doing something about your relationship. Please define the boundaries of relationships. Some kinda people shouldn’t be in ‘bestie zone’. You can’t be toying with destiny ooo. All my besties/inner circle friends are women of fire ooo. I invest a lot into friendships… Wetin we go dey discus na if you are not a God-lover yourself…?
I just recalled a friend of mine. One of my COVENANT besties.
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There used to be plenty friction in our relationship but no matter how our heads touch, we still find our way back to each other cos we have an amazingly unshakeable God-foundation in our friendship and in our personal lives too.
(Oh she insists I have to do a post where I tell the world how much of a well, BAD, friend I too have been to her… Lmho!)

Now I recall some other people with whom I have ‘tried’ friendship… The inner-circle kind… E no work… I mean, we will both put in effort but whosai!!! Something in me will not let you beyond a level. Cos my inner circle friends can ‘kill’ me. I’m very ‘naked’ with them and if I’m not careful, very soon somebody go enter ‘dilemma mode’
Ah, I had a ‘close friend’ that ROASTED me some years back… Nne eh, lesson learnt hard way… I was wise to define the boundaries of my relationship with the person…
With friends, I am first spiritual, then emotional.

Oh then ah, sometimes, people make bad decisions by letting good people go for all the flimsiest stupid reasons… And then when their head starts working right, tz already too late… Several friends I have begged to stay in a relationship and work things out… Mba!!! Then they have let a good man/woman go…
Painful!!! Too painful!!!
Daily, we have to make decisions…
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Choices!!! And with choices come consequences…
Some decisions, heavenly. You don’t recover from the ‘enjoyment’ it brings…
Some decisions, hellish… The fire doesn’t stop burning and even when it stops, you deal with scars…
Choice is yours darling…

Isaiah 30:22…And you shall hear a voice saying: this is the way, walk in it…
Thankfully, we all have access to this VOICE…

The rate at which we see and hear about people making wrong decisions, most times after they are living with the sad consequences, is incredulous. Tz heart-breaking. We should really stop laughing!!! And then resolve to make right choices and then help as many people around us do… Operative word being HELP!!! Some people no go just gree. They believe Experience is their best teacher.
Lemme end with my own story how I almost married some one else…
Hmmmm…
See una ears… I no talk again…
Good thing is I made the right decision…
Thank God for grace. Thank God for wise counsel. And Thank God for my darling darling Rev…
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#NuffSaid…
🙂

Here’s to making BETTER decisions this 2014…
Berry Kisses…
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E’
Going FORWARD…Still Testifying

PS:
Amazing feedback from my post ‘Announcements on the F.A.B. Lane…’
Thank you all so much… God bless y’all.
We will kick off by the weekend…
Woooooooooooooooooot!!!
*shaking my bum in satan’s face*
You may wanna read it if you haven’t and see how you can be a part of what God is doing here on the F.A.B. lane…
http://eziaha.com/2014/01/21/announcements-on-the-f-a-b-lane/

PPS:
Joyce Meyer is a dream… My dream…
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Daily, I fall deeper in love with her and all the amazing things God is doing through her and her ministry. Ah!!! Thank God for podcasts. Free podcasts…
Love. Love. Love.

PPPS:
The Post I mentioned on Pastor M’s blog actually is a kinda contest. Send in your comments and the most fabulous comments get prizes… Fabulous ones…
But tz also fun to read what people have to say about it…
So click away…
http://justusgirlsnaija.com/2014/01/21/2014-and-so-it-begins/comment-page-1/#comment-1916

PPPPPS
My friend and fellow Blogger Tunde Leye is part of the organizers of a Naija Books Fair. I wish I was in Lagos. I would have gone. Plenty Naija books will be on sale at Patabah bookshop in ‘Lere.
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Plus there will be many giveaways including a home theatre courtesy Tunde.  Attend and buy books. Support Naija writers.
Tunde Leye blogs at http://www.tlsplace.wordpress.com
BEST fiction writer I have read in a while. His latest series on ‘A little Brid said…’ gives me som’in to look forward to every monday morning. Awesome!!!
FORWARD 2014…Still Testifying

Jesus in JEANS… Relationship, NOT a set of RULES!!!

***POST CRASH ALERT; This Post contains a zillion pictures and two videos. I hope your device can handle it… hehehehe***

So Jesus in jeans went down yesterday and it was all shades and hues of Ah-May-Zing…

Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo

I wanna share a few things that service brought up for me and of course plenty of pictures…

IMG_20130908_122708 EZIAHA IN JEANS ON POWER BIKE… Hahahaha

If you don’t know what JESUS IN JEANS was all about, please read my post on it here

There was nothing unconventionally church about yesterday but everything cool and ‘E’ compliant’ about it.

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Recall my last post where I said I had to find church ‘cool’ to flow? Ehen, this is a good example of what i mean.

There is a church for EVERYONE, whatever your taste is, so far it is a LIVING church. Find the one you are most comfy with and be planted and SERVE there. There is really NO textbook prescription as to how church should be. One mistake we make is that in our heads, we have reduced church to a set of rules and anybody who doesn’t follow the ‘RULES’ is OUT.

Nah Sweetie. And Jesus in jean service was just DCC’s way of evangelizing and reaching out to even more people. I wanna talk about the reactions that followed on my BBM after I sent a BC, on why we had to have such a service… loooool. But that is story for another day… One thing though, thank God He is omnipresent ooo. If not, God would have been in only one place yesterday, partying with His mainest people in DCC… True that!!!

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Aint nada wrong with jeans in church yo. Walking into church for workers meeting at 7am with my pair of jeans, shirt and heels, almost everyone was in a pair of jean… It was super cool.

I quickly stole a look at The Rock IMAGE (Choir) because I know that those people are just vain colorful loool.

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They didn’t disappoint, in their jean, red, white and black combo… Still on TRI, they did a fantastic ministration jare and it was led by one of my ‘favorite-from-a-distance’ Ministers.

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(The guy is fine sha #Justsaying#) Sorry no picture of him 😛

The comedian, especially for first service was incredibly FUNNY. His joke on Igbo musicians and their videos got me rolling… Oh my!!! Too funny. Sorry I can’t obviously repeat the joke. I would water it down. Just trust me when i say HILARIOUS!!!

The dance too was on point.

But two things stood out that day for me and it was the DRAMA and the WORD…

The essence of the drama’s message was not lost with the drama, as incrediblY HILARIOUS and unconventional as it was.

It began with a woman whose husband had just passed and she was crying hard. Then the ‘Pharisees’, all four of them appear and start talking all sorts of rubbish about generational curses and sin,

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further compounding the woman’s agony. One of them was a professor with BIG grammar loool. It was too hilarious. While they are doing their thing, two women come in with their bell and drama

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and now demanded for 7cows and 7pigs to carry out a sacrifice. HAHAHAHAA

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The Pharisees chased them away last last sha and continued their rubbish.

Then we heard the revving of a power bike from the back.

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Then three guys appear dressed like bikers top to toe…

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they made their way to the stage and those acting are as surprised as those of us watching. Like ‘what’s going on here???’

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Then one of them, the one in Black introduces himself to us all as Jesus or ‘BROS J, like my DCC friends call me’ Looool. I am including a video here for effect. Then the other dudes introduce themselves… One as ‘Peter or P’SHUN’ and the other as ‘James or Jaaaaaaaa’mey’ Loool. This they did with plenty of attitude ooo.

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Then Jesus asks what the commotion is about and after they say, He steps aside and prays a really short casual but powerful ‘I know who I am’ prayer to his FATHER

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and in the calmest most authoritative voice ever says ‘Lazarus, GET UP’

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and immediately, dude jumps up… hahaha.

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The Pharisees wanted to die. Then the Jesus retreats and sits on his Power bike.

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The Pharisees leave angrily and return almost immediately (SCENE TWO) with the woman caught in adultery. With sticks and stones ready to kill the woman.

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And of course, they were like, ‘You call yourself Jesus abi, the son of God yet you are wearing jeans and riding power bike? Ehen so this woman was caught doing AN UNHOLY TIN (He actually lifted his leg up when he said this. We almost died laughing) So what do you say because as you see us here, we are NOT smiling…?’

And then this Jesus brings out his iPad and was iPading away while the Pharisees were fuming.

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Then very calmly, he says

‘He who is without sin cast the first stone…’

and dude went back to his iPad. Of course, you didn’t expect this Jesus to be writing on the sand in this 21st century na… Come on!!!

Come and see drama as they all disappeared one by one with the flimsiest of excuses.

Hilarity for days.

The last to leave was the most stupid of them all because he was holding everyone’s stone and waiting for them.

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Anyways, after they all left, Bros J looked up from his iPad and gave the BEST line I have ever heard with all the swags he could muster…

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‘Hey Sandra, where the Pharisees at?’

I almost died laughing!!!

This Jesus was definitely going to Hell by most Christian’s standard today and He was going to rot in hell this time not resurrect after 3days… LOOOOOOOL

You know how the story goes now… Just read it in John 8; 1-11

Then enjoy my video explaining the drama even more…

And this Jesus ooo, He wasn’t talking directly to us ooo. He would call James

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and then whisper into his ears

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and Jameeeeey would tell us.

#DonJazzy/D’banjtInz#

The drama ended with Jameeeeey telling us that Jesus said we should ‘COME AS WE ARE’ cos anyday, anytime He is ready ooo. And when they were walking out, Jesus had this swag in his steps…

THE DRAMA WAS A BILLION STARS yo!!! Thumbs up to SOUL IMPACT…

The Word was another highlight of the day.

I will share nuggets that got me in my own words…

Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo preached. Oh, did I mention that he drove into church with his Power bike?

Eky

He did… Mehn!!! PK is the kinda Pastor I love abeg. When it comes to the Word, oh my Pastor drops it like it is HOT. And he aint low on SWAG at all…

#LoveMeMyPKjor#

He said once that a Parent told his son…

“…So you are going to that church where the Pastor drives a Power bike abi?”

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Ha ahn!!! What is not right with that biko nu? Cos i RIDE one too… *straight face*

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Loooooooooooool… Christians eh…We are always looking for rules and more rules…

Ok the Word…

The whole idea of Christianity is NOT a set of rules. It is a relationship. We have the STRONGEST, BESTEST message on earth and yet sometimes, we have the worst way of passing it across because we are reducing it all to rules and making it boring. If we can truly paint the right picture of what we have, then we would inspire many more people to wanna be like us. Jesus was NOT a religious guy… He partied, related with Sinners (the Bible actually calls him a friend of sinners Matthew 11;18-20), and so on. He even provided more wine when the wine at the wedding finished so that groove go continue loool. He basically related with everyone and yet was not corrupted by them. That is the balance.

Don’t be so ‘Christian’ that you forget that the core of our message is LOVE and RELATIONSHIP and become JUDGMENTAL of everything that doesn’t conform to what we have in our head as ‘CHRISTIAN’.

Christianity need not be boring. Church need not be that place where we go to sleep.

peuf_20130909_29 (I got this SCREEN SHOT CAPTURED YESTERDAY. It was too apt looool. Forgive me Sweetheart… kisskiss)

I am not saying we should all become WORLDLY and be corrupted by the world. All I am saying is don’t be so offish, eerie, odd, boring that you can’t reach the world.

Many people love Christ but hate His followers because of how we behave.

No one should box our Christianity and our message. Some people have the MOST USELESS SENSELESS message but you need to see all the packaging they give it. We that have such a message wanna be restricted and boring about it. Mba ooo. NO!!!

Enjoy the video and then  I will wrap it up afterwards…

I love how PK tied it all up together. Jesus calls himself the BREAD OF LIFE and the LIVING WATER. Bread refers to sustenance. Likewise water. There is a God-shaped vacuum in EVERY man. Nothing else can fill that void. Not jeans, not partying, not drugs, nothing!!!

The koko is getting this JESUS and accepting Him as the One from whom your life derives a meaning. The difference between our own kinda groove (eg dressing well, riding power bikes, wearing jewelry, using weaves or dreadlocks, and enjoying the luxuries of life that He has given us freely to enjoy as long as we don’t cross the line and we do all things in moderation) is that we know that our definition, our sustenance is NOT and can NEVER be from those things. Rather, our sustenance is from this bread of Life and we have to teach others who still think they can derive joy from these ephemeral stuff, that ‘NOPE it won’t ever do’.

Get God and then put all these things in their place… no one being as important as that relationship with God.

Even though we have those ‘THINGS’, when they are absent, let our relationship with God NOT be shaken at all.

I love the illustration PK gave with thirst, coke and water. If we are really parched and we drink coke, even if we drink one gallon, in no time you would thirst again. Only water can truly quench thirst. It is the same way that the finer things of life cannot quench our thirst in life. Only God can. We should make sure that nothing else is used to fill that void or else we would just be wasting our time.

So Christians, please rep CHRIST WELL. Don’t make it about rules looking for whose dressing (or whatever) qualifies them or not.

A judgmental CHRISTIAN is an oxymoron… Both words don’t and should not go…

Enjoy life but let one thing remain number one… A RELATIONSHIP with God that shows in our day to day living and draws outsiders to Him through us…

On a lighter note, PK keeps saying that if JESUS was here today, He would drive a POWER BIKE. Being that He rode a donkey… Ride na ride abi… LOOOOOOL.

And the biggest testimony of the day were the souls that were saved… Quite a lot of people came out to give their lives to Christ (or re-dedicate).

Like I said, JESUS IN JEANS was an outreach program and judging by the souls saved, I can say it was well worth…

WHOOP!!!

Enjoy more pictures Darlings… And just in case you like the earrings from the videos, sorry love, they are taken already.

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PhotoGrid_1378659960448 (that is pastor K’s first daughter right there. Eky… I loved her tee. Dassah and Davida are PK’s kids)

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And don’ bother asking me if I rode the bike… Askor…

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20130908_115248 The Ushers and their Pastor LOOOOL. Famzing people hehehehe. You need to see wll the drama prior to the shot…

While I got a personal shot… Whoop

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Hahahahaha

Looooool. I think I will be beaten after this post.

JESUS IN JEANS was super amazing… Or like i said when my Pastor asked me

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DCC ROCKS!!!

Feel free to join our online streaming on http://www.davidschristiancentre.org

This Post was tough to put together… but I have absolutely enjoyed putting this together…I think this is Post in which I have had the most exciting time putting together… I hope you enjoyed it.

Use the share button please. share with your friends… Drop a comment too. CHURCH IS THE NEW COOL…

And in other RELATED news, i joined a new unit in church which i am very VERY excited about… GUESS WHICH?

Nah, not drama…

Nope not Welcome…

Nope not choir (my voice is croaky)…

YUP, PUBLICITY UNIT known inhouse as LIGHT HOUSE.

Yay!!!

Of course I am still a DEEjAY NOW… Projector Unit member that is…

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Yup all three girls are the FEMALE DeeJays in DCC…

Shout out to DJ KENI and DJ TOYIN… Loool

Have a super duper COOL week ahead and please rep CHRIST VERY WELL EVERYWHERE YOU GO…

Hugs, KISSES … And PEACE

20130908_094827 (riding out yo!!!)

E’

#AttitudeO’Gratitude… Day DAVIDA :-)

Hey…
Greetings all the way from Asaba
Whoop!!!
I am grateful for journey mercies…
Yup
I’ll give you my Asaba details later. A chronicle of sorts. Promise…
🙂
But today, I’m particularly grateful for

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Davida Ifechukwunyediche Okonkwo
Our latest gift in DCC
Oh my!!!
1. I am grateful that this baby trashed Doctor’s report.

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They said she would never have a child… Now look what the Lord has done
🙂

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Dassah has a sister

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And He has filled our mouths with laughter

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2. I am so grateful to be a part of DCC family and the e-house party we had today.

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DCC people no dey sleep… 4am Naija time and people were awake and updating BBM status…

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DCC is such a blessed house, blessed people, blessed pastors, blessed E’

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Blessed Ada too… my partner in shenanigans… hehehehe
3. I am so happy that PK was there when this baby happened…

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He played a K-bond mood and surprised his wifey in America last week… Then baby girl decides she might as well just come a month ahead… While daddy is here… Oh wow!!! Looks like Jehovah pulled a J-Bond on PK hehehe
4. Yay!!! I am thankful that PM will be back soon.

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She wanted to stay away for just 3months instead of the 4months Doctors said…

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Now she will ooo. She will be back soon.

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Muah mama… We sure can’t wait to have you back… Just a few more weeks
😉
5. I’m just grateful for this day… Started with good news galore… So much good news. Heard abi read something that yup upset me but hey, today was just a joyful day…
Bone tired loves…

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Plus this killer pounded yam and ofe nsala needs to digest…
Hehehe
My Booski’s traditional tomorrow. Echi di ime indeed…
Sleep well
E’

Ps
Sound of heaven is Sunday

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Whoop
Come early ooo
Overflow no go good ooo

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